Wow, this is scary. Little pebbles falling and then the avalanche comes down.
I am terrified that someone will haul my butt to a hospital. They will kick me out quick when they find out how much my insurance won't pay. But, if the pink slip you, they have to keep you for so many hours/days. (I always worry that once they get their hands on me, they won't let me go.)
But I worry about my dogs. I have a much more manageable number now, but my dad is 77 and my mom is housebound and my brothers are weenies when it comes to GSDs. So, they'd come and take my dogs, and I might never get them back. And that would kill me. I have puppies right now. Puppies don't do well in shelters, and our shelter regularly puts down lots of dogs due to parvo. It's flat out terrifying.
The other thing is being on the other side of this. First of all, I'm usually the last person to notice or know. If say, Karen was my buddy, and she started talking about something, I don't know when to actually send in the troops. If something did happen, and I didn't, I'd feel bad about that forever. This is why, when I talked to the pastor about starting a group, I wanted it to be headed by a therapist. Him and I are fine, but I am not trained in knowing how/when to take ideation to the next level.
A gal at work last year, told me that she had gone home the day before and kissed her baby, and then locked herself in the bedroom and got the gun and was going to kill herself. Her boy friend was yelling at her, and she said she was afraid of going back to the hospital, so she stopped. And I was thinking, uhm, what do I do with this information? Is she hoping that I will call someone and get her what she needs? I was totally at a loss. I told her that her baby needs her. She told me back that she thinks the baby is better off without a mother as crazy as she is. I told her no way. I talked to her for an hour. I went home, and was so relieved when I came in the next day and she was there.
I just don't know, I'm sorry.
Bear Cub, Hepsi-Pepsi
Cujo2, Karma Chameleon
Ramona the Pest, Kojak -- who loves you baby?
Tiny Tinnie, Susie's Uzzi, Kaiah -- The Baby Monster.