Finally getting married - German Shepherd Dog Forums
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post #1 of 31 (permalink) Old 06-19-2009, 10:38 AM Thread Starter
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Finally getting married

My wonderful DF and I have been together about 5 years.

We had our son first, then bought a house, and now are ready to finally get married!

I have the venues narrowed down to two. We'll only have 40 people.
Very expensive Inn on a Lake with country/lake views & charming, historic dining rooms and lounges. So expensive that we'd have to do chicken in an early Sunday afternoon reception.
The other choice is a restaurant about a half hour away.
Great formal food, reasonable price that includes flowers & cake ... but not much on 'wow' atmosphere.

I'm leaning towards the Lake House, but is it tacky to not serve formal food in a formal setting?
I need you folks like Patti to guide me on wedding reception expectations!

A truly rich man is one whose children run into his arms when his hands are empty.
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post #2 of 31 (permalink) Old 06-19-2009, 11:05 AM
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Re: Finally getting married

Definitely the Lake House.

NOT because its expensive or whatnot. But it sounds like its just lovely with the views, historic charm and the whole "atmosphere".

That, to me, would be FAR more worthwhile to remember, then what I had to eat.

As to what the guests think, its YOUR wedding. Do you care more about your memories or what other people have to say about it ?

To me, an easy choice

By the way...CONGRATULATIONS !!!!!


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post #3 of 31 (permalink) Old 06-19-2009, 11:10 AM
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Re: Finally getting married

do what you can comfortably afford. since you've been so unconventional in the order you've done things, it's doubtful that anyone will be judging you on what food you serve where. buying gifts for a couple who already live together is the biggest complaint wedding photographers overhear guests complaining about.

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post #4 of 31 (permalink) Old 06-19-2009, 11:22 AM
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Re: Finally getting married

Do whatever makes you happiest because this is the one day you are suppose to remember forever. The problem I have with weddings and receptions is that people are forgetting the whole purpose of the event -- the joining of two people, sharing their happiness with their friends, not the reception and what you provide them. It's nice to splurge for the occasion, but be real about it. It's crazy to go into debt for a party.

What are people going to remember more about your reception? The great location with so/so food or so/so location with the great food? I would go for the place that gives you more for the money, but that's me because I'm Mrs Frugal.

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post #5 of 31 (permalink) Old 06-19-2009, 11:29 AM
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Re: Finally getting married


Unless you want a big formal traditional affair (I only have a very limited sense of you as a person based on this board, I but suspect that isn't what you want), make the choice that you love and the one that reflects you as a couple. It's about celebrating your life, your love, and the family you are building together. In a place the couple clearly loves, chicken can say "party" just as loudly as filet. Nobody is coming because of the food - well, at least I hope they aren't - they are coming to share this special day with you.

One of the nicest weddings I've ever been to was in the garden house of a local arboretum. It was beautiful, the food was user-friendly, and I loved that I didn't feel like I had to get so dressed up and be so formal that I couldn't be comfortable. Another one I remember fondly was at the Inn at Valley Green in Fairmount Park. The reception was brunch and to me little else says love and family like pancakes.

When we finally get around to it, we'll rent a big beach house, pack up the dogs, invite the people we love, and the "reception" dinner will probably come off the grill.

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post #6 of 31 (permalink) Old 06-19-2009, 11:29 AM
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Re: Finally getting married

If you want to do the lake house why not do an late afternoon/early evening reception and more appetizer/hor'dourves, and cake?


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post #7 of 31 (permalink) Old 06-19-2009, 11:31 AM
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Re: Finally getting married

If this has been planned for awhile, and you have a budget set aside for the wedding, and can afford the Lakeside inn, go for it. I don't know that I would go into hawk for it, but I don't think you are going to put yourself into bankruptcy for, so if it means alot to you and your soon-to-be, do it! Congratulations!!
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post #8 of 31 (permalink) Old 06-19-2009, 11:40 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Finally getting married

For what we're willing to pay she offered us a Sunday morning or afternoon. Sunday afternoon there would be lovely, so we're going there to meet with staff and discuss if we can pull it off or not.

I certainly won't put myself in debt. We have limted funds, but we prefer simple themes anyway!

Thanks for the well wishes .... it's so exciting!

A truly rich man is one whose children run into his arms when his hands are empty.
Maxwell's Silver Hammer GSD/Dobie X

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post #9 of 31 (permalink) Old 06-19-2009, 11:42 AM
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Re: Finally getting married

I'd do whatever makes YOU happy!!! It's YOUR day!!! The historic Inn sounds beautiful - there's nothing wrong with eating chicken on Sunday afternoon (and don't forget, many chicken dishes are considered gourmet). The restaurant with great food sounds good too. But in the end, which will you, DF, and others remember the most - the food, or the overall atmosphere.

Believe it or not, the best reception I ever went to was at the bride's home. The food was hot & cold deli. The bar flowed with all kinds of drinks. I don't remember the cake. People had such a good time it lasted TWO DAYS - honest.


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post #10 of 31 (permalink) Old 06-19-2009, 11:48 AM
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Re: Finally getting married

I didn't worry about other people's expectations when I planned our wedding. We were also on a very limited budget, so we spent the most on the things that were important to US - great music (a live blues band), a keg of decent beer, good but not expensive food, and less on things that were not a priority, like decorations. The location was nice, a lodge in a park in Oakland, but because it was owned by the City of Oakland, it was much less expensive than a fancy restaurant or country club, which we could not have afforded anyway. We also cut down costs by having my mom do the flowers, and another relative made the cake. There are lots of ways you can economize, and people like to help.

Who cares about expectations? Unless they're paying for it, it's none of their business. Plan the wedding you want to have, invite the people you want to share the day with you, and don't stress over it.

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