I'm really and truly sorry that you are still in such pain. I think because of the way he died it's especially painful for you. I know that it's been 1 year since I lost my Elsa and it still hurts. I know that nothing else can replace the feelings and love that you had for your Bear but maybe in time you will be able to heal. Every time I visit that dog park that we met at I think about you and your little Bear. It truly is heartbreaking.
Have you thought anymore on the upcoming litters that are due? I know that you can never replace Bear, but I know that that when I got my Bear a month after I lost Elsa it definitely helped with the healing process.
I wish there were words that I could offer to make you feel better.
Take care of yourself!
I have thought about the litter, and in fact have put a deposit on the upcoming whiskey litter. However, I was second in line for a male, and there were 4 females and 1 male born.
I'm having trouble deciding what to do next. I don't have anything against a female dog, and in fact want one someday, but I am currently caring for my parent's 2 german shepherds, and I'm very close to the female. But she is getting older (11 or 12 right now), and though she is in good health, she probably doesn't have much time left. I feel like getting a female at this point is tantamount to replacing her before she is even gone, and I don't want to do that.
I can wait more for the next whiskey litter, but I really want a puppy again. However, and more importantly, by the time I get to take a whiskey puppy home again, my parent's dogs will likely be back with my parents. They are the dogs I grew up with during high school, and I really wanted them to meet and help raise my new puppy, for both sentimental and pratical reasons.
The other option is go with another litter, and while I want another whiskey puppy, my brother pointed out that another whiskey puppy may be an unpleasant reminder of Bear. I'm not sure if this would be the case, but I have considered it. There is another litter being sired by Zeo for christmas, and if this were my first puppy purchase, I would have no reservations at all with a Zeo puppy instead - Zeo is a large, handsome red/black male, just like whiskey.
I will probably try for a Zeo puppy, if there is any room on the waiting list left. It won't be the same as Bear, and nothing will ever be. But it'll be nice.