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post #1 of (permalink) Old 04-07-2008, 01:10 PM Thread Starter
Elite Member
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 1,767
Do you have a toddler?

The following was compiled together by several moms, granpas granmas, enjoy


• If its on, I must turn it off.
• If its off, I must turn it on
• If its folded, I must unfold it
• It its high, I must reach it
• If its within my reach, I must examine it
• It its on a shelf, I must un shelf it
• If it can be pulled, I must pull it
• If it has a button, I must also push it
• If a machine has a slot, I must put something in to it
• If it has leaves, I must pick them
• If its pointed, I must play with it
• If its plugged in, I must unplug it
• If its not trash, I must throw it away anyway
• If its in the trash, I must remove it, inspect it and then throw it on the floor
• If its closed, I must open it
• If its full, I must empty it
• If its empty, I must make it full to make it more interesting
• If it has drawers, I must go through them
• If the drawer holds items, I must examine them one by one then toss them on the floor
• If it has writing capabilities, I must write on everything within my reach
• If I can t reach it too write on it, I will find a way too
• If it is a pile of dirt, I must lie in it or roll in it
• If it’s a stroller, im not going into it peacefully unless I make the request
• If I don’t want to ride in the stroller, im the only one that can push it
• If it has a hard surface, I must bang on it
• If mommys hands are full, I must be picked up and carried
• It it has buttons I must play with them
• If it has volume I must turn it up if its down and down if its up
• If it has a switch I must flip it over and over, this includes nanas lights
• If it has a faucet it must be turned on at full force
• If it can fit in the toilet it must be flushed
• If it doesn’t fit in the toilet, I will find a way.
• If it’s a phone, I must talk on it, unless there is someone on the other end listening
• If someone is listening, I must screech and press all the buttons
• If its edible I must taste it
• If its not supposed to go in my mouth, I will put it there anyway
• If it has fur and tail and ears, I must yank on it
• If Momma wants me to go to her, I must run the other way
• If Momma is busy and wants me to go and play, I must hold on to her as hard as I can and never let go
• If Daddy is busy, I must go and help no matter what he is doing
• If the aquarium has water and fish in it and I can reach it, I must give them a bubble bath
• If the dogs dish is on the floor I must sample it
• If it can be swung, I must hit the dog in the head
• If it belongs to momma and daddy, its mine
• If it belongs to nanan and poppy then its mine as well
• If its my aunts, uncles, brothers or sisters and I see it, its mine
• If I can stick it in the DVD I will
• If it doesn’t fit, I will make it fit
• If it can be wedged in, I will wedge it
• If it belongs to the cat or dog, I will play with it and they will like it
• If its bath time, I will run around until im caught and then run around again afterwards until I am caught and dressed
• Bath tubs are to go potty in, it’s a unwritten rule
• If it can be hurled across the room, I will hurl it
• If I don’t get my way, you will know about it
• If I go shopping and I want something, nanan will buy it
• I don’t have to wait for xmas I have a nanan and a poppy
• If I want something from nanan I only have to smile
• If its bed time I will try to delay it until the last second
• If its time and I’m still tired, the world will hear about it

I'd rather be hated for who i am than loved for who im not. An old shoshoni saying about loosing someone you love, MY HEART IS ON THE GROUND, NOW I MUST PICK IT UP AND MOVE ON
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