How to 'fire' your trainer.

Karla · 03-08-2013, 01:54 PM

Sorry if I picked the wrong category.

It took me awhile, but I have decided it's time for me to find another trainer.

I really don't know why I stayed in a situation that I was not happy with.

I don't know how to politely say that I no longer need her services. I don't want any bad feelings between us. It's just time for me to move on.

Any suggestions? Should I call and talk to her or send an email? Maybe I'm too worried about hurting her feelings. I'm sure these things happen a lot to trainers and they don't think anything of it.........or do they?

Blanketback · 03-08-2013, 02:02 PM

I guess it depends on the relationship you have with your trainer. I took a class that I was unhappy with, and I just stopped going. Problem solved, lol. Another trainer's class wasn't cutting it for me and we'd already had prior conversations regarding which tools we preferred using, so she wasn't surprised when I didn't follow up with further classes.
What sort of differences are you having with this trainer?

**Castlemaid** · 03-08-2013, 02:02 PM

You don't owe her an explanation. You can email or phone, either way, and let her know that you won't be requiring her services anymore. Period. You can say that you wish to pursue a different training philosophy, but no explanation is needed. If she makes you overly worried about HER feelings being hurt, then she somehow managed to emotionally manipulate you in the process, completely unprofessional, and even more reason to move on.

Look at it this way: you are paying for a service, like your phone service or cable. If you decided that you didn't like the service you were getting and wanted to switch, would you be worried about hurting the cable company's feeling? Of course not. It is your money, and your dog, and your decision.

Stevenzachsmom · 03-08-2013, 02:09 PM

I'm only in a beginning obedience class and don't like my trainer. There is only one more class. YAY! Advanced class is being brought up. I won't be taking my puppy to that. If I am asked directly, I will simply say, "We are going to take a break for awhile."

As Blanketback said - it really does depend on your relationship with the trainer. I don't think you should have to go into a lot detail. Tell her you want to try something different. Don't feel bad about doing what is best for you and your dog.

Gretchen · 03-08-2013, 05:31 PM

If you paid for a class in advance, you might just want to finish up then stop. No explaining needed.

I really like Stevenzachsmom reply, say you want to take a break for a while. That's what our 1st trainer said to us - he "fired" us. I was a little insulted at first - he was our dog's breeder, and it seemed he could not control my little monster. But it worked out for the best as we liked the new trainer we found.

Actually for us it does seem good for our dog to take a break for a while. Just curious - why do you care if there are bad feelings between you and the trainer? Do you see the trainer around town a lot, or at church or something?

Karla · 03-09-2013, 01:16 AM

Thank you for the replies!

The differences I'm having with my training is our training philosophies differ.

In fact, the other day, she was saying that I modify everything she tries to teach me. I said, "not everything", but yes, I have made some changes. I explain the reason, but she doesn't seem to think I've given her method enough time. I start out trying things the way she shows me; but if I find something I like better or works better for me, I do what works for me and my dog. She has no flexibility there.

Timber hasn't been the same around her since she gave him a couple of harsh corrections.

So, I realized I should have went with my gut instinct awhile back and didn't. I thought I'd just train my dog my way and basically have her be the critical eye of our progress.

Then I thought, "Why am I doing this?" It's just not a good fit and I'm sure it's frustrating to her to work with someone who just can't do things her way.

I don't know why I'm concerned about her feelings. (I'm such a softy!) We're not friends and it's not like I'd see her around since I live 50 miles away. I might run into her at a fun match or show, but I have no reason to feel bad. It just wasn't a good trainer/client relationship and I need to move on.

Thanks for helping me out!

debbiebrown · 03-09-2013, 06:44 AM

always listen to your gut! i wouldn't worry about hurting anyones feelings.......just move on.

Mooch · 03-09-2013, 07:17 AM

You could always just say you had a change in circumstance and can't do classes for a while

She can't be offended by that!!
Don't say too much, if it was me I'd probably just send an email thanking her for her support and help so far and saying that regretfully due to a change in circumstance/family issues/work commitments you will have to be taking a break from classes!

I think it's nice of you to care that she might be hurt, most people wouldn't

codmaster · 03-09-2013, 10:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Karla

Sorry if I picked the wrong category.

It took me awhile, but I have decided it's time for me to find another trainer.

I really don't know why I stayed in a situation that I was not happy with.

I don't know how to politely say that I no longer need her services. I don't want any bad feelings between us. It's just time for me to move on.

Any suggestions? Should I call and talk to her or send an email? Maybe I'm too worried about hurting her feelings. I'm sure these things happen a lot to trainers and they don't think anything of it.........or do they?

I think a key would be for you to articulate your reasons for wanting to move on. (Maybe you already have of course)

If you do this then maybe it would become more obvious why you NEED to do this.

I.E. you want to do more/different things with your dog

your dog is not improving in their behavior

you want to try a different approach (maybe clicker or pos only or something different than your current trainer)

the location/logistics are becoming a big burden

you and the trainer are having a personality conflict about something

you got a reference about someone and you want to try them as a trainer

etc. etc. etc.

Good luck!

PS ---- stick to your guns once you make up your mind (but also remember that maybe you might want to come back to this trainer one day) -- depending on why you want to try someone new!

holland · 03-09-2013, 11:43 AM

Just wanted to say that I think its great that you don't want to create hard feelings when you leave-I have burnt bridges when I have left situations -if I was doing it all over I'd probably still do the same thing-but its great that you don't want to create bad feelings all the best to you in training

03-08-2013, 01:54 PM	#1 (permalink)
Karla Member Join Date: Dec 2010 Posts: 155	How to 'fire' your trainer. Sorry if I picked the wrong category. It took me awhile, but I have decided it's time for me to find another trainer. I really don't know why I stayed in a situation that I was not happy with. I don't know how to politely say that I no longer need her services. I don't want any bad feelings between us. It's just time for me to move on. Any suggestions? Should I call and talk to her or send an email? Maybe I'm too worried about hurting her feelings. I'm sure these things happen a lot to trainers and they don't think anything of it.........or do they? Last edited by Karla; 03-08-2013 at 01:55 PM. Reason: typo

03-08-2013, 02:02 PM	#3 (permalink)
Castlemaid The Administrator from the Great White North, eh? Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Northern British Columbia Posts: 11,182	You don't owe her an explanation. You can email or phone, either way, and let her know that you won't be requiring her services anymore. Period. You can say that you wish to pursue a different training philosophy, but no explanation is needed. If she makes you overly worried about HER feelings being hurt, then she somehow managed to emotionally manipulate you in the process, completely unprofessional, and even more reason to move on. Look at it this way: you are paying for a service, like your phone service or cable. If you decided that you didn't like the service you were getting and wanted to switch, would you be worried about hurting the cable company's feeling? Of course not. It is your money, and your dog, and your decision. __________________ Lucia Keeta BH, OB1, TR1, AD Rottweiler/Hairy Dog mix?? Shelter rescue Gryffon Vom Wildhaus BH

03-08-2013, 02:09 PM	#4 (permalink)
Stevenzachsmom Knighted Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Maryland Posts: 3,360	I'm only in a beginning obedience class and don't like my trainer. There is only one more class. YAY! Advanced class is being brought up. I won't be taking my puppy to that. If I am asked directly, I will simply say, "We are going to take a break for awhile." As Blanketback said - it really does depend on your relationship with the trainer. I don't think you should have to go into a lot detail. Tell her you want to try something different. Don't feel bad about doing what is best for you and your dog. __________________ Jan Natty Boh 6-27-12 Annie 1998 - 8-2-12 RIP

03-09-2013, 06:44 AM	#7 (permalink)
debbiebrown Crowned Member Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: maine Posts: 7,743	always listen to your gut! i wouldn't worry about hurting anyones feelings.......just move on. __________________ url

03-08-2013, 02:02 PM	#2 (permalink)
Blanketback Elite Member Join Date: Apr 2012 Posts: 1,375	I guess it depends on the relationship you have with your trainer. I took a class that I was unhappy with, and I just stopped going. Problem solved, lol. Another trainer's class wasn't cutting it for me and we'd already had prior conversations regarding which tools we preferred using, so she wasn't surprised when I didn't follow up with further classes. What sort of differences are you having with this trainer?

03-08-2013, 05:31 PM	#5 (permalink)
Gretchen Elite Member Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: California's Central Coast Posts: 1,520	If you paid for a class in advance, you might just want to finish up then stop. No explaining needed. I really like Stevenzachsmom reply, say you want to take a break for a while. That's what our 1st trainer said to us - he "fired" us. I was a little insulted at first - he was our dog's breeder, and it seemed he could not control my little monster. But it worked out for the best as we liked the new trainer we found. Actually for us it does seem good for our dog to take a break for a while. Just curious - why do you care if there are bad feelings between you and the trainer? Do you see the trainer around town a lot, or at church or something?

03-09-2013, 01:16 AM	#6 (permalink)
Karla Member Join Date: Dec 2010 Posts: 155	Thank you for the replies! The differences I'm having with my training is our training philosophies differ. In fact, the other day, she was saying that I modify everything she tries to teach me. I said, "not everything", but yes, I have made some changes. I explain the reason, but she doesn't seem to think I've given her method enough time. I start out trying things the way she shows me; but if I find something I like better or works better for me, I do what works for me and my dog. She has no flexibility there. Timber hasn't been the same around her since she gave him a couple of harsh corrections. So, I realized I should have went with my gut instinct awhile back and didn't. I thought I'd just train my dog my way and basically have her be the critical eye of our progress. Then I thought, "Why am I doing this?" It's just not a good fit and I'm sure it's frustrating to her to work with someone who just can't do things her way. I don't know why I'm concerned about her feelings. (I'm such a softy!) We're not friends and it's not like I'd see her around since I live 50 miles away. I might run into her at a fun match or show, but I have no reason to feel bad. It just wasn't a good trainer/client relationship and I need to move on. Thanks for helping me out!

03-09-2013, 07:17 AM	#8 (permalink)
Mooch Master Member Join Date: May 2012 Location: Australia Posts: 867	You could always just say you had a change in circumstance and can't do classes for a while She can't be offended by that!! Don't say too much, if it was me I'd probably just send an email thanking her for her support and help so far and saying that regretfully due to a change in circumstance/family issues/work commitments you will have to be taking a break from classes! I think it's nice of you to care that she might be hurt, most people wouldn't

03-09-2013, 11:43 AM	#10 (permalink)
holland Crowned Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 4,261	Just wanted to say that I think its great that you don't want to create hard feelings when you leave-I have burnt bridges when I have left situations -if I was doing it all over I'd probably still do the same thing-but its great that you don't want to create bad feelings all the best to you in training

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