How to train the husband?

[Emoore]

Kopper really has bad manners. He jumps on people, he takes the leash in his mouth and tries to pull you when you're walking, he barks loudly and joyfully from the time he pulls our car in the driveway until about 5 minutes after we come home, he's developed this habit of breaking into my weight room (the door doesn't shut well) and stealing small items like my headphones and my resistance bands, he climbs into your lap with muddy feet after you've asked him not to. . .

I've addressed all of these behaviors, work with him, discipline, re-direct, but my husband encourages him.

He's never done this with any other dog before. I've done some thinking, and I think this is all wrapped up in his guilt and grief over Cash. He was the one playing fetch with him when the ball went down his throat and he blames himself for Cash's death. I do not-- the dog loved to play ball and we both played it with him several times per day. But he loved that dog a lot and now he blames himself for his passing. Now he loves Kopper a lot and spoils him mercilessly.

When I bring it up with him he says, "He's a little boy; let him be a little boy. Plenty of time for him to grow up later. Besides, Cash wasn't perfect either and you loved him." It's true he's still a little boy, but he's a BIG little boy and I'm getting sick of having an unmannered 80lb little boy. True, Cash wasn't perfect and did a lot of the same stuff, especially in the first year after we adopted him, but we worked with him and he got better. I feel like he really does love Kopper more than I do, but it's an unhealthy love that's all mixed up with grief and regret and doesn't have any spine to it.

What do I do? He's AWESOME at training, and he gets a lot better when my husband leaves town. I feel horrible for saying that, but there it is.

[Stevenzachsmom]

Put your husband in a crate and use a shock collar. I think that's the only way. Are you practicing NILIF with him?

Seriously, if is very sad that your husband feels such guilt over the loss of Cash, but Kopper isn't Cash. Kopper needs to learn manners so you can both better enjoy him and he can be the dog that he is meant to be. It really isn't doing Kopper any favors. At some point he needs to learn and the sooner the better.

Can you video Kopper's good behavior when hubby is not home? Sit down with hubby and calmly explain to him why it is so important that Kopper learn proper behavior and why waiting is a mistake. Your husband sounds like a great guy. I think you can make him see reason. Good luck!

[Cassidy's Mom]

Sorry, can't help you there. Puppies and dogs? Easy to train. Husbands? Nearly impossible!

[Stosh]

My husband travels a lot and when he's away Stosh takes his responsibilities as my protector seriously, but when Mike gets home Stosh goes nuts! My husband will let him play bite, let him do body blocks, generally 'guy stuff' that they both love. But when he's home I fall down the ladder to #3 in the house. My herding trainer had us do an exercise so Stosh could see the control I had- I gave Mike commands like sit stay come [which he did reluctantly] and Stosh couldn't believe I made my husband obey! He kept doing the head tilt, like WTH?? Then I have Stosh the same commands and he was all excited to do what Mike was doing. After that Mike gave Stosh the commands and he was more than willing to do them- kind of like a new guy game. Once Mike saw how much Stosh needed to be 'the dog' he was convinced that he couldn't let Stosh go wild when he's home.

[mysweetkaos]

I don't know but if you figure it out let me know. My husband (who claims to only love the dogs because I do), is the same way. He doesn't understand why I get frustrated....Sherman can be perfect and calm all day, until my husband gets home. Then it is to put it nicely a goat rodeo in my living room. Even the kids point out the difference to my husband.

I just try and remember, I am glad I am married to a loving, fun man who takes interest in things I take interest in....even if he does it different. He was the same way with Kaos, and well eventually Kaos did mature past that stage

That is sad if your husband does have guilt over Cash. I personally would let him be. Eventually Kopper will mature past that stage.

I guess it's good in our case too, Sherman acts that way with him and only him. He doesn't try it with the kids or anyone else, so I let it slide.

[Emoore]

Originally Posted by mysweetkaos

.Sherman can be perfect and calm all day, until my husband gets home. Then it is to put it nicely a goat rodeo in my living room.

Hahahahahahahaha! A goat rodeo! What a perfect description. Do we live in the same house?

[kiya]

Ifyou ever figure out what to do please let me know, I gave up on trying to teach my old husband new tricks.
I was going thru some old pictures, I found one of my husband in puppy class with Apache (the only time I think he went to class good thing I got a pic). Seems since then he doesn't show any intrest in training. Anytime I suggest anything he gets offended. So basically I am on my own with training and behavioral issues.

[hunterisgreat]

I used my clicker on a coworker but it actually made her really angry. I think my reward wasn't high value enough

[mysweetkaos]

Originally Posted by Emoore

Hahahahahahahaha! A goat rodeo! What a perfect description. Do we live in the same house?

We could very well....our dogs are about the same ages!! Although, I think you'd notice my 3 kids running around. I'd like to point out, my 2 yr old requires better behavior of Sherman than my husband does

[DFrost]

Let me see; people that know how to train dogs but can't train a husband. I would think, when training a dog you find a reinforcement that the dog really likes and offer that when the dog does what is asked ----------- a marker could even be introduced - - - uhhh do I really need to explain the rest???????

DFrost