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Old 02-03-2014, 02:51 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default new yound shep scared of me

Hi I just adopted a Shep 3 days ago and she is scared to death. she shows no signs of aggression but wants to hide anywhere she can fit and even places she cant fit. We have her a crate and her own room and have been bringing her out for one on one time with my husband and I separate. She has started really liking my husband but is scared of me. I don't know if she was abused by a female before or not. She is a young dog approx. 5 to 6 months max. If anyone can help me on getting her to like and trust me I would appreciate it. We spoil our dogs and I want her to have the same experience our other dogs have had. I have never had a dog not like me and its breaking my heart. I don't want to scare her by pulling her to me to love on her. and Ive tried ignoring her to see if she will come out on her own. She eats and drinks fine and has good bathroom habits. please help me with ideas. I am heart broken and I don't want her to be heart broken also...
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Old 02-03-2014, 02:57 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Dont force it. Let the pup learn that you are not going to hurt her. It may take some time but don't give up. Just sit on the floor in the same room with her and let her react at her own pace. Don't try to engage her, just her work herself around you. Also, you may try being the one that feeds her. Don't expect any fast response when you do feed. Just be consistent and let the bond develop between you and her on her schedule.
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Old 02-03-2014, 03:22 PM   #3 (permalink)
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let the dog approach you , let the dog decide when to leave.

repeating this from another one of my posts because it shows READING the dog's comfort and discomfort signals.

How to Be More Fun, Less Annoying, and Avoid Dog Bites | Ahimsa Dog Blog

earning that love and trust -
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Old 02-03-2014, 03:27 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Doc View Post
Dont force it. Let the pup learn that you are not going to hurt her. It may take some time but don't give up. Just sit on the floor in the same room with her and let her react at her own pace. Don't try to engage her, just her work herself around you. Also, you may try being the one that feeds her. Don't expect any fast response when you do feed. Just be consistent and let the bond develop between you and her on her schedule.
Agreed.

We adopted our GSD Maddie when she was a year old. She was super shy, withdrawn and fearful. She bonded with me immediately and stuck to me like glue whenever I was home. But it took my wife months to bond with her--Maddie would shrink away, hide and avoid my wife. It took a lot of kind patience before she finally came around. But she did so eventually.

IMHO laying the proper groundwork is important. Here are a couple articles on that subject. Please note that I am just a noob who thinks he might know a few things about dogs but also recognizes his limitations and readily listens to those with more knowledge and experience.

Leerburg Dog Training | The Groundwork to Establishing Pack Structure with Adult Dogs

Leerburg | The Ground Work to becoming Your Puppy's Pack Leader

Best of luck to you and your dog,

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Old 02-03-2014, 04:01 PM   #5 (permalink)
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I have bad suspicions that your pup was trained to be non-agressive by a woman trainer. She could have been adopted by family with children, and I have heard about cruelty to puppies trained either by breeders, or those who bought them to train in order to resell already trained. I have no idea, what they can do to puppies, but young dogs are scared to walk not any stairs, but stairs of the house, not afraid to ride elevators, but scared to go into the car boot, not scared of big bulky and loud men, but scared of seemingly gentle, short and slim...It cannot possibly be genetic.
I'd advice you to pay attention to the sound of your voice first of all, whether you are talking to your pup, or to your husband. Make it sweet. It can help, if you, together with your husband, take your puppy into your bed with you for 30 minutes before you crate her, let your husband to lift her. Play a game with her normally played with kittens - a feather on a thick woolen thread in sitting position. Smell for her nicely, rub your ankles and forearms with Essential oils for dogs | Essential Animals. I don't want to give you the same advices as other members of this Forum already gave you. It will take time for her to gain courage.
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Old 02-03-2014, 04:36 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Lots of reasonable advice so far......patience is the key.

I'm sure you have tried getting down on the floor with her and seeing her at her level....if not that might help. But no need to push what can't be forced, in this particular situation.

Perhaps as a previous poster mentioned about a "women trainer....." .....could be... and as the old saying goes " H.e.l.l. hath no fury like a woman scorned."....There is nothing as unpleasant as a woman who has been offended or whose love has not been returned. Might be something similar in a dog's world.

I'm willing to bet you however, even though you state it's breaking your heart...when ( not if ) you do win her confidence and attention....your heart will be many times happier than you can imagine.

Hang in there, she'll figure out you mean no harm and a human worth liking.

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Old 02-03-2014, 05:09 PM   #7 (permalink)
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All good responses. Nothing I can really add other than we rescued a Husky and her reaction to me and men in general was very similar to what your describing. On top of that she would not walk through a doorway, any doorway. What made it even worse is my wife is disabled and couldn't pick up a 65 lb husky.

My only interaction with the poor dog for the first month or more was to pick her up to carry through something she was already afraid of.... I tried to just ignore her and let her come to me. When my wife wasn't looking (just kidding) I would toss her some treats. A piece cheese, a little meatball of raw hamburger, etc. when we were in the kitchen preparing food.

My voice can be a little deep and I really had to be conscious of my tone. Over time she learned to trust me and eventually I could do almost anything with her. It took a lot of time but she ended up overcoming a lot of her fears. We had her nearly 16 years, she was a sweat and loving dog.

In short, hang in there, don't try so hard and she will come around.
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Old 02-04-2014, 06:17 AM   #8 (permalink)
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It took about 2 days for Penny to take to me. My first reaction when I brought her home was, "oh god she hates me" haha
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Old 02-04-2014, 10:57 AM   #9 (permalink)
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I agree with those saying not to push it, let her come to you. I would maybe try just quietly being around her, but kind of ignore her for a bit (unless she seeks you out).

I think the idea to be the one to feed her is good, and as soon as she will permit (without scaring her) maybe you can be the one to walk her, train her etc at least for the first bit, so that all the good things come from you. Also if/when she does let you pet her, don't pet her from over top of her head, but keep your hand lower and maybe start at her cheek or shoulder or something, so you aren't reaching over her, if that makes sense? I would keep a more neutral body position, turn your body to the side and don't stare her in the eyes, or loom over her.

She might have been mishandled by a female, but she's young, so she will hopefully come around before too long.

Don't lose heart

Last edited by blackshep; 02-04-2014 at 11:01 AM.
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