So sorry to hear this. From your post you sound like a " take action" type of person, and having 4 children I imagine you are. So cry when you need to and hang tough. One person I knew said when she was going thru cancer treatments, when she had no appitite, she forced herself to eat, "I'm eating my medicine" is what she told herself. Peace to you and your family, there will be the dog of your dreams waiting for the right time to join up.