That is very hard and I am so sorry that this is happening to you. Please be strong so you will conquer this to live a good life for yourself and your family.
Today I read a poster in town after reading your thread and it said "You don't know how strong you are until being strong is the only option you have" (from Bob Marley) . It reminded me of your story. Sending you healing thoughts.
Deja, GSD, sable WL, female, born 11 / 2013
Cam, Rough Collie, sable, male, born 8/2015