So irritating

[Sarah~]

So my boyfriend has this friend who is one of those people that thinks all animals love him. Which is fine, whatever, but he purposely does things I have asked him not to do with my dogs.

Eko does love him, big shock, he loves everyone, but my big issue is that he "makes out" with him. He lets Eko lick the inside of his mouth for minutes at a time and it's really loud and sloppy and disgusting.... it makes everyone uncomfortable and I have asked him to stop but he does it anyway. I almost feel he does it to spite me. He also calls Eko like seconds after I've called him and clings to him the whole time he's there. Whatever, Eko is fine with it, it irks me but I just deal with it since he's my boyfriend's friend and I don't want to start anything.

But yesterday, he picked up my new ABPT puppy without asking and put her in his lap. Xena is EXTREMELY fearful of people and hasn't even really warmed up to our roommates yet, she JUST got used to my boyfriend after a week. I told him this the first time he came over after we got her. I was so mad I yelled at him and he just gave me this look like I was stupid and said, "Well she looks fine, she's not snapping at me or trying to get away." She was PETRIFIED, shaking like a leaf and just drooling nonstop, she wasn't not trying to get away she couldn't move! I took her from him and put her away, he has completely set back her training I had gotten her to a point where she would approach strangers after a while instead of just hiding behind me quivering til they left, now when someone comes over she bolts from the room.

I have to start from square one now because this jerk thinks he knows more than me about MY dogs. Now I'm just considering putting the dogs in the crate every time he comes over, I hate to do that to them but I don't know what else to do.

[KZoppa]

Putting them safely in crates sounds like the best thing since the fool obviously has zero respect for your authority regarding your animals. I get downright nasty if people dont respect my wishes in MY home regarding my kids or my animals. They get one chance to play by the rules and then they are removed from my home until they can listen and are invited back in which is usually not going to happen. Get mean if you have to. Your animals, your rules.

[AngelaA6]

Have you talked to your boyfriend about how this irritates you and make you uncomfortable? They are your dogs and your feelings/concerns. He should be made aware of the situation or it could escalate. Communication is definitely key, just be careful to not attack the friend whilst discussing his behavior with your boyfriend. Just let him know and maybe he can talk to his friend and get him to understand where you're coming from. I let my husband know if he does something with the dog that makes me uncomfortable and have no issue throwing out even friends if they hurt my pup. My best friend's boyfriend decided sliding my dog *pretty hard* into the front door was hilarious and he got the boot, I would have stopped him before that happened if I wasn't busy in a different room. We're all still okay and I think he'll never touch my dog again People get watched very carefully when they are around my dog now.

So yeah, communication! It is very important! Or see if when you guys hang out it can be at a place where your animals aren't

[Sarah~]

I would stop him from coming over and my boyfriend knows I don't want him over anymore so his solution was to invite him over when I go to work overnight. Doesn't solve anything, just makes me stress out about what he's doing to my animals while I'm trying to work. I have gotten mean before, even other friends have made some rude comments, he just ignores us. Crates are my last option, and if he has to come over then he will not have access to my animals anymore. I am sick of being disrespected in my own house!

I have talked to my boyfriend about it, he just agrees with me and shrugs, says that's the way he is not much to do about it. I would have us meet somewhere else if he would actually give us notice before coming over, 9 times out of 10 he just shows up. -_-

[KZoppa]

Originally Posted by Sarah~

I would stop him from coming over and my boyfriend knows I don't want him over anymore so his solution was to invite him over when I go to work overnight. Doesn't solve anything, just makes me stress out about what he's doing to my animals while I'm trying to work. I have gotten mean before, even other friends have made some rude comments, he just ignores us. Crates are my last option, and if he has to come over then he will not have access to my animals anymore. I am sick of being disrespected in my own house!

I have talked to my boyfriend about it, he just agrees with me and shrugs, says that's the way he is not much to do about it. I would have us meet somewhere else if he would actually give us notice before coming over, 9 times out of 10 he just shows up. -_-

This right here... when you're kids, this is fine and all fun but when you're an adult it's rude. Your boyfriend needs to respect your decisions which would include the bonehead not being at the house if you're not there.

[AngelaA6]

I agree with KZoppa. There definitely is a point in there where enough is enough. I'm sorry you are going through this. If crating them is the only way to keep them safe from the jerk then do it. I sadly put animals above humans sometimes and my animals safety is more important than any disrespectful guys feelings.

[Sarah~]

Originally Posted by KZoppa

This right here... when you're kids, this is fine and all fun but when you're an adult it's rude. Your boyfriend needs to respect your decisions which would include the bonehead not being at the house if you're not there.

I agree! Incredibly rude!! I told him that but he said I can't stop him from being social and having friends over... like I am trying to keep him all to myself. It's just this ONE person, who irritates the heck out of me, our roommates, our other guests, and even my boyfriend sometimes - I just don't get why he even wants to hang out with this guy. So I just told him if he HAS to come over then the dogs are going in the crate... period. He said that would be rude and he would be able to tell we are doing it because of him and I said good! I'll even tell him myself! I said what about Xena, she was practically traumatized because he doesn't listen, so that is the only way he can come over anymore without me having a huge fit and throwing him out so my boyfriend has agreed. It's ridiculous it even has to come to this point!

[Sarah~]

Originally Posted by AngelaA6

I agree with KZoppa. There definitely is a point in there where enough is enough. I'm sorry you are going through this. If crating them is the only way to keep them safe from the jerk then do it. I sadly put animals above humans sometimes and my animals safety is more important than any disrespectful guys feelings.

I think so too, my dogs depend on me to take care of them they can't tell this guy to leave them alone and he won't let them get away from him so I have to solve it once and for all.

[doggiedad]

definitely crate the dogs when he visits. maybe put the
crate/crates in another room with the door to the closed
when he's there.

[Dainerra]

try to compromise with the boyfriend - I don't care if he comes over, just crate the dogs and leave them in the other room. That way, he isn't put in the middle between you and his friend and the dogs will be safe.