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Old 12-30-2012, 10:39 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Down in the dumps.....

Warning.....I am just feeling really down on myself and want to vent.....
So I had a rough year with neck and back problems, job change within the same company, and dealing with Stella's reactivity. I got real stressed out at Christmas because I felt like I was running around like a lunatic trying to do everything while dh and younger son (who originally got Stella and then couldn't keep her) were playing video games and watching tv....So I had a little melt down Christmas morning. OK. I had a big melt down. It was big enough to actual get my dh to take Stella for a nice long walk! Here we are a week later and I am finally starting to feel a bit better about things....until this afternoon. Went sledding with the family and brought Stella along. Everyone was having a good time. When it was time to leave I got Stella in the car and a couple of dogs came near. Stella did her usual nonsense of barking and just being a jerk. Turns out the 2 dogs were dogs she has played with in doggie day care. I asked their owner if she minded if I let Stella say hello. She was fine with it. Well, Stella was terrified. Tail between legs, hiding between my legs. I have never seen her do this before. Anyhow, we left and I just started feeling really down about myself. I just feel I am doing Stella a disservice. She is so smart and a really great dog but I just am a lousy trainer. She could be so much more in the right hands. Anyway, you get the idea of what was going through my head. Later this evening, my dh and I go out to dinner. I was going through the events of the day with Stella's fear and how I don't know what to do. His wonderful response....."I don't think you should have a dog like her. You can't handle her." Thanks a lot. I needed to hear that. So, that is my little rant for the day. Hope that 2013 brings better things for me and Stella......
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Old 12-30-2012, 10:52 PM   #2 (permalink)
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I don't have any great advice that will fix Stella. Sure there are better trainers than you or me. We do the best we can. You CAN handle Stella, because you ARE handling Stella. I didn't read that anyone else was doing anything. You have been through a lot of stuff - health, job and a stressful time of year. Stella is just the frosting on the cake right now. Take a deep breath and repeat after me...."Stella is just a dog. Stella is just a dog." Don't sweat the small stuff. You will get through this. Love Stella for who she is. Work through her issues as best you can. Manage what you can't change. It will make your life so much easier.

I doubt Stella would want to be with anybody, but you. In her eyes, you are perfect. (It's always really nice, when someone believes that about us.)

Hugs!
Jan
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Old 12-30-2012, 10:59 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stevenzachsmom View Post
I don't have any great advice that will fix Stella. Sure there are better trainers than you or me. We do the best we can. You CAN handle Stella, because you ARE handling Stella. I didn't read that anyone else was doing anything. You have been through a lot of stuff - health, job and a stressful time of year. Stella is just the frosting on the cake right now. Take a deep breath and repeat after me...."Stella is just a dog. Stella is just a dog." Don't sweat the small stuff. You will get through this. Love Stella for who she is. Work through her issues as best you can. Manage what you can't change. It will make your life so much easier.

I doubt Stella would want to be with anybody, but you. In her eyes, you are perfect. (It's always really nice, when someone believes that about us.)

Hugs!
Jan
Jan just said everything I was going to say only better...so ditto..
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Old 12-30-2012, 11:00 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Thanks. I needed that! And I am going to give Stella a big hug right now!!!
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Old 12-30-2012, 11:02 PM   #5 (permalink)
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How old is Stella?

Not every dog is a social butterfly. Not all dogs need to be a social butterfly. There are dogs out there, that are perfectly happy being the apple of your eye and they don't care if the rest of the universe disintegrated.

Just love her. She may surprise you pleasantly as she matures.
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Old 12-30-2012, 11:04 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Guys "think" they are going to make you feel better when they say dumb stuff like that... I've been there... LOL! Have faith in yourself, it'll work out
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Old 12-30-2012, 11:05 PM   #7 (permalink)
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(Quote) I just feel I am doing Stella a disservice. She is so smart and a really great dog but I just am a lousy trainer. She could be so much more in the right hands.

I'm sure there are a quite a few of us here that are in the lousy trainer category. DW reminds me how inconsistent I am and well.. I am! I mix up the proper "commands" and there are other things I should work on too, but oh well, I try. I love my dogs and they love and respect me, so in the end, all is good.
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Old 12-30-2012, 11:07 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Every day is a new day and no human or dog is perfect. You're working hard and loving her for who she is but pushing her to be better and that is what counts.

I hope tomorrow is better
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Old 12-30-2012, 11:08 PM   #9 (permalink)
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What Jan said!!

Stella loves YOU because you get her, the rest of the household is probably just furniture! Fear reactive dogs, reactive to other dogs or to people are a chanllenge. to say the least. Good group classes if available, affordable and attendable (schedule) help a lot. And Happy New Year. All things are possible.

Kathie
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Old 12-30-2012, 11:16 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by selzer View Post
How old is Stella?

Not every dog is a social butterfly. Not all dogs need to be a social butterfly. There are dogs out there, that are perfectly happy being the apple of your eye and they don't care if the rest of the universe disintegrated.

Just love her. She may surprise you pleasantly as she matures.
Stella is 18 months. We have been working on this a while and had made some great progress. Guess we are just having a set back. Funny thing is that I think Stella would like to be a social butterfly. But she certainly fools all the other dogs!

Tomorrow is another day.....
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