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I feel absolutely sick to my stomach. I have to be the most horrible dog owner on the face of the planet. i get so mad at Jas for peeing and pooping in her kennel, I spank her. She's a year and a half old, she should know better. Xerxes hasn't gone in his kennel since he was 4 months. But when i went out and she had pooped in her kennel and i got mad and she was trembling in fear. My god, I felt like a monster. I never wanted my dogs to be afraid of me. God, i feel so horrible right now.
No offense, but you should feel bad. Spanking her? Really? That is not the answer. No dog should EVER be hit..period! Would you spank a child because they soiled their pants? God I hope not!
She was trembling with fear. So sad!
Why do you think she is soiling her kennel? Is she being let out enough?
I can't sit here and hold my tongue. You absolutely should know better. I hope you didn't think you could post this and get sympathy, because I don't think you're going to get it.
Please change your ways and get that poor dog to trust you again.
I'm sorry if you think I'm being harsh but I just can't stand to hear about any animal being hit.
No, YOU Should know better.
She is an animal.
She had to go, she was locked up, she went.
Either she wasn't taken out before you left, or you were gone too long, but no matter what the reason was, to let yourself lose it and hit an animal is simply not OK.
I don't know why you posted this here, but you have to get control of yourself next time. You were lucky your dog didn't bite you.
Well in another thread you state "My two didn't go through a land shark phase because I didn't allow it. I know some don't agree with this but if my dogs tried to bite, they got their noses slapped."
And now you know why "some don't agree with" slapping noses or spanking them.
Hitting dogs is going to make them scared of you. What did you think would happen? :(
So you've really taught them nothing except you are not stable (in their eyes, they don't know why they are being struck), and are likely go "go off" on them.
You can rehab and change the situation but do not strike them again.
Mind Games, if followed, gives the dog the idea that you are the leader, not a bully that'll strike out at them randomly.
Mind Games (version 1.0) by M. Shirley Chong
You need to build up her trust of you by never laying a hand on her again. This is how most people who aren't dog-savvy train, by smacking them. It 'works' by stopping that one behavior while you're around, because he knows he's going to get hit. What is also does is make that dog trust you less, namely because a leader doesn't lash out and lose control like that for nothing - I.E you did it after she did something bad, so she REALLY had no idea what was wrong with you.
A lovely quote to keep in mind:
"Dog: Keep in mind I have big, strong teeth and claws, but I choose not to use them against you, even if you hurt me."
I'm not sure where I heard it, but it touched me.
Don't beat yourself up too much, even if you have been using very outdated 'training', heck, Cesar Milan does too, you're certainly not one of the worst owners. And you can fix this with her. I'm glad she showed you in a way you can understand how she feels when you do this.
Just so Jas doesn't get lost in this thread: if I have a dog who is housebroken and pees and poops in the house then my first thought is that they are not well. Dogs don't just suddenly become un-housebroken. Unless she is still a puppy? Then it's perfectly normal to have an accident every so often.
And I think that you could use Jas's reaction as a blessing for you: now is a good time to rethink your training style. Many of us started out using harsh, punishment-based methods of training because that's what we knew from our parents or that's what was in favor at the time. However, those of us who have switched to more reward-based methods have never looked back. They give you the opportunity to build a much better relationship with your dog.
When I had my first dog I was too harsh with her. I didn't beat her or anything like that, but I did slap her nose and I was WAY too harsh verbally with her. I think part of this was because her, mother, who was a doberman/shepherd mix, was owned by people who never disciplined their dogs at all and that dog snapped at people and wasn't safe. I was really scared that this puppy I adored would turn out to be an undisciplined mess.
I was the problem. It was never the dog's problem.
Here's the good news: Dogs are really smart and really forgiving and my dog Peanut and I learned and grew together. And truly she has taught me ten times more than I've ever taught her. I am a good dog owner because of her. She is fourteen years old now and still with me. Still teaching me to be a better person.
This is YOUR opportunity to learn. Hitting a dog doesn't work. When you want to hit a dog, this is a weakness and foolishness in YOU, not the dog. Walk away and take a breather. Remind yourself that you are everything to your dog, and it is terrifying when you are angry. Remind yourself that your dog would do ANYTHING for you if he could only understand what you want. Your job is to figure out how to communicate what you want and how to make it possible for this dog to please you.
I can honestly say that I have never experienced a situation where hitting a dog was the appropriate response. Your dog does NOT want to make you angry. Try to help him learn how to please you, as that is what he wants more than anything.
It is almost unbearably humbling when you first understand how your dog sees you. To your dog, you are ALWAYS right. None of us can ever live up to that, but it behooves us to do our best for such a faithful friend.
This is definantly a good time to start over with your dog if you want to.
We are all human and have gotten angry or annoyed with our dogs,whether we hit them or not. Just don't make the same mistake again,even if it means you have to walk away and come back to the dog later.That's one of the reason why I don't ever train when I am in a less than good mood. It's too easy to take your aggravations out on the dog,if you let it get that far.
I didn't come here for sympathy. I saw what I had done to her and felt horrible. I will do better. It was a huge wakeup call.
There's a lot of information on the forum about training dogs without using physical force or letting your anger get in the way.
If you don't mind my asking, what made you think spanking a dog would work to begin with? Was it something you saw being done by other people?
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