My Friend Is Gonna Be Friendless, If She Doesn't Stop

[RileyMay]

Okay, my friend and I got on the subject about owner ship of dogs, and how much I love them. She was all like I want a dog really bad, but I'm not ready for the respinsibilty. Which is fine with me, don't get one if you can't handle it, or you know you're not ready. Then we some how started talking about how much I adore my dogs'. She then said" You know, you shouldn't have such an emotional attachment to your dogs'." I was shocked at this point, and didn't know what to say. She then said" So how have the dogs' been?" I said" They have been good. There was litle incident with Riley that almost got her landed in Heaven." She said" What happened?" I said" She jumped the fence to chase a cat, and somebody was speeding. She almost got hit." Then she said" Wow, I just don't care about dogs' dieing. I don't have an emotional attachment to them at all." Then I said" So you wouldn't care if Riley was hit by a car right now, and died infront of your eyes?" She said" Nope, I honestly don't care. I'd be like dang, then be like whatever." It was so hurtful because when she said "I don't have an emotional attachment to them" she was chuckling about it. She said it to my face. Now everytime we talk, the subject some how gets to where she says she doesn't care. Never will care, because they're dogs'... It's gotten so bad, that when she aks, I ignore it. I'm just ignoring her for awhile now. Everything she says that I disagree with turns into a fight, but if I say something, and she disagrees it's okay, and I'm not aloud to give my opinion basically, it's okay for her to disagree, but I can't. She hurts my feelings so bad, and says horrible things like that all the time now if the subject is somehow bought up. I just don't talk about the dogs' with her anymore, but she starts it. What would you do? End the friendship or what? Because, I'm ready too. She went to far when she told me to my face saying she doesn't care if my dogs' were killed and I shouldn't have an emotional attachment to them. She's just... I don't know....

[x0emiroxy0x]

That is like saying you don't care if my human children die. Yes, dogs aren't animals, but if your friend knows you love your dogs like kids why would they say they don't care if your animal dies and you are hurt?

[RileyMay]

Originally Posted by x0emiroxy0x

That is like saying you don't care if my human children die. Yes, dogs aren't animals, but if your friend knows you love your dogs like kids why would they say they don't care if your animal dies and you are hurt?

It hurt so bad, and she knows that the doctor said that I might not beable to have children. So, my dogs' are going to be my children. If I can't have my own child, I'd deff. adopt because I do love kids. I guess that's another reason why it hurt so bad! She said it because she doesn't have an emotional attachment, and if my dogs' died I shouldn't be depressed. I'm not going to be depressed. I'm going flat out die!!

[PaddyD]

Your friend is either being 'too honest' by telling her true feelings or she is not a friend. or both
Friends try to be sympathetic and understanding to those things that are important to their friends. If she were to have a dog then she would probably change her tune. She is lacking in empathy for your feelings for your dogs. You will have to decide whether to accept her as she is ... or not. Just as she has to accept you as you are.

[chelle]

She's not a dog person and/or she's jealous, just that simple. I'd cut the relationship, myself, but that's just me. I have plenty of friends who are not dog people to the extent I am, (actually I don't have a single friend who is as dog crazy as I am,) but they respect that I am a crazy dog woman... and still love me. Because they care about me, they ask about my dogs, because they know that is where my focus is. They probably don't care that much about my dogs in all truth, but again, it goes back to caring about *me*. I ask about their kids, they ask about my dogs.

Unless you have a lot invested in this person, I'd say she is someone you should... lose. If you really care about her, you might try to sit down and explain how important your dog is to you and if she still shows this attitude... well... I'd lose her.

I hope she never gets a dog!

[Jessiewessie99]

My friends and family know how much I love my dogs, and dogs in general. They know better than to say stuff to me. But then again, they really don't. Some of my friends are pretty careless and stupid when it comes to dogs. I have gotten into arguments with my friends about dog ownership. Now its to the point where I will NOT talk to them about dogs or give them advice on anything dog-related as they won't listen or care.

Obviously your friend shouldn't own a dog if she is thinking the way she is thinking. She obviously doesn't care and doesn't really want a dog that bad. Sorry if that sounds mean and offensive, but thats how I see it.

When my previous dogs passed away my friends knew how much it hurt me and didn't say anything as mean as that. I wouldn't call her a friend if she said those things.

[RileyMay]

Originally Posted by chelle

She's not a dog person and/or she's jealous, just that simple. I'd cut the relationship, myself, but that's just me. I have plenty of friends who are not dog people to the extent I am, (actually I don't have a single friend who is as dog crazy as I am,) but they respect that I am a crazy dog woman... and still love me. Because they care about me, they ask about my dogs, because they know that is where my focus is. They probably don't care that much about my dogs in all truth, but again, it goes back to caring about *me*. I ask about their kids, they ask about my dogs.

Unless you have a lot invested in this person, I'd say she is someone you should... lose. If you really care about her, you might try to sit down and explain how important your dog is to you and if she still shows this attitude... well... I'd lose her.

I hope she never gets a dog!

We have known each for 4 years. She didn't want a dog until she stayed the night, and met Banjo. She then later met Riley. I tried to tell her that, she knows how much I love my dogs'. She continues to tell me I shouldn't have an emotional attachment to them. Like geez, she's 18 years old and starts drama over something so little.

[RileyMay]

Originally Posted by Jessiewessie99

My friends and family know how much I love my dogs, and dogs in general. They know better than to say stuff to me. But then again, they really don't. Some of my friends are pretty careless and stupid when it comes to dogs. I have gotten into arguments with my friends about dog ownership. Now its to the point where I will NOT talk to them about dogs or give them advice on anything dog-related as they won't listen or care.

Obviously your friend shouldn't own a dog if she is thinking the way she is thinking. She obviously doesn't care and doesn't really want a dog that bad. Sorry if that sounds mean and offensive, but thats how I see it.

When my previous dogs passed away my friends knew how much it hurt me and didn't say anything as mean as that. I wouldn't call her a friend if she said those things.

That's not offensive at all. I would LOVE to tell her she shouldn't get a dog, but I know if I did...She'd go get one.

[KSdogowner]

Originally Posted by RileyMay

She hurts my feelings so bad, and says horrible things like that all the time now if the subject is somehow bought up. I just don't talk about the dogs' with her anymore, but she starts it. What would you do? End the friendship or what? Because, I'm ready too. She went to far when she told me to my face saying she doesn't care if my dogs' were killed and I shouldn't have an emotional attachment to them. She's just... I don't know....

This really depends on whether she knows how you feel. Did you ever express to her your feelings about the things she is saying? If she is not giving you room to express yourself and your love for your dogs without these type of comments then this is not a healthy friendship in my opinion. If she doesn't know, then she needs to know and depending on how she will react, you can then decide what you need to do with this friendship. It could just be that you guys started out really strong with similar interests but have grown into different directions throughout the years. This stuff happens. Nobody has to feel guilty about it. I believe that there are friendships that are seasonal and others that are like forever. Maybe this is one of those seasonal ones.

[Germanshepherdlova]

She doesn't sound like a very nice friend. I'd probably cut that friendship if I were you.