She's just so tired ...

[IliamnasQuest]

Trick (turned 13 last May) had a tough night. In the past year I have really seen her age, and last night was the worst night so far. She wouldn't get up, wouldn't eat, wouldn't take her pain meds, just wanted to lay there. I've been giving her rimadyl as needed and I think it's time to up the dose to a regular every-day dosing.

She's just old - it's not like there's anything specifically wrong with her that could really be helped. She's fading, and I can only do what can be done - feed her what she'll eat, give her the pain meds, encourage her to get up and walk, and love her as much as I possibly can.

I sat on the floor with her last night and just massaged her gently, telling her how much I loved her. I couldn't tell if she cared one way or the other - she was just tired and didn't want to move. I took out some frozen hamburger last night and by early morning she would eat some of the raw hamburger, and today has eaten hamburger, cottage cheese and a bit of chicken (AND taken her pain meds). She's drinking water - mostly if I bring it to her and hold the dish so she can drink - and we've been out a couple of times so that she can pee and poop (both of which happened normally). But what she wants is to come in and lay down and just sleep.

It breaks my heart to see her fade away, even though I know it's the normal way of things. I'm lucky to have had her these 13 years, with minimal health problems thoughout that time. Mentally I'm prepared to let her go - emotionally I'm not.

When I massaged her this morning I whispered to her that I would understand if she needed to go. I told her that Kylee and Dawson and Dax would be waiting for her, ready to greet her and show her all the wonders of her new home. I told her I would come looking for her when it was my time, and in the meantime she could watch over me and visit me anytime she wanted. I don't know that it comforted her much but it comforted me .. some ..

I love this old girl so much, and I just don't want to see her suffer. I don't think it's time to have her euthanized, but I can see that she's just not happy right now. I hope that she has some more good days soon. If her good days are gone, and her quality of life is no longer enjoyable, then I have to let her go. And I'm just not ready.

Thanks for listening to me vent. I've got tears dripping off my cheeks, and Khana here at my feet to comfort me. But as we all know, nothing will be "right" for a long time. Letting go is never easy.

Melanie and the gang in Alaska
with Trick, as close to perfect as a dog could ever be ..

[Chantell]

I am so sorry. I am crying like a big baby right here.

[LJsMom]

I know how you feel. Lady Jane is 13 years, 8 months old. The clock is ticking...

[middleofnowhere]

Really, I think telling them does help them. You might have tried all this but if not -- You might want to ask your vet about etogesic instead of rimadyl. We changed to it instead of derramaxx and I thik it works better. Chiropractic and accupuncture help a lot too. Often gimpy feel-bad old dogs will have a UTI that isn't showing up in urinalysis so an antibiotic might do wonders, too.

The vet and I had thought that Barker the Elder was tanking in late January but she rallied and is waiting to go out to the barn again tonight. I use the chiropractic and accupuncture as well as the etogisic (and heart meds). And we have recently finished our latest round of antibiotic.

[Lindab]

I am so sorry. I do know how you feel, I could have written that post 2 years ago. I also spent lots of time those last few months, took lots of pics, cut a piece of his hair to put in a special trinket box, and cryed rivers. Peace be with you and yours.

[Skye'sMom]

I am so sorry, Melanie. It's a difficult thing to watch our seniors fae - and I know how special Trick is for you.

I always enjoyed the pictures you share with us. How about a new one?

I spoke to my late dog and cat also letting them know that I would be OK if it was time for them to go. I seemed I could almost feel them relax.

I hope for you some great days to come with Trick.

[jaggirl47]

Melanie, I am so sorry to hear that. You gave her love and she has returned it in kind. She knows you love her.

[pbark50]

Melanie,
Please keep talking to her - I truly believe she is at ease because she hears your voice -
I too have tears running down my face - we have been in the exact spot you are in now - it was one year ago yesterday that I put my beloved Chance down

[Mandalay]

Went through that with the Bearded Collie (Muggsie Malone ) We knew it was time to let her go, but it was SOOOO hard. She was about 16 and we had her for 15 of those years.

I am so sorry you are having to go through this...I will keep you in my thoughts.

[Zisso]

I am also very sorry to hear your heartache. Letting go is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. My thoughts and prayers are with you both.