Feeling Sad About/For My Senior

[BowWowMeow]

I know that we all try to live each day as if it were our senior's last but sometimes I do get sad and feel that Chama doesn't have much of a life anymore. Last week we went up to my cousin's farm for 5 days. The farm is one of her favorite places in the world but this time she really didn't enjoy her stay.

The first day we arrived she was very excited but had trouble moving around in the deep snow and fell a lot and got frustrated. Her biggest joy was bounding and tracking in the deep snow. Now she could barely go for a short walk b/c she was falling through and it was painful.

The house is kept way too warm for her so she was panting and very uncomfortable inside too. She is almost but not completely deaf and can still hear loud noises. Unfortunately when she hears them she finds them scary. My cousins kids do often scream at each other and after a the first day Chama began retreating into the bedroom and spending most of her time in there by herself. She used to like to be out where she could see everyone but not this time.

I made her a good track with my snowshoes and we had one perfect walk but then the weather got warmer and it rained and the snow washed away but the ground was frozen and lumpy and so she still had a hard time moving around. It was also icy and/or flooded in places and I had to hang onto her harness or she was falling all over the place. I finally found a path to take that was somewhat passable but it took a lot of effort for her to go on a walk and I could tell it was painful and very frustrating for her. She still got up and was excited to go for walks but we did 4 short walks b/c it was so difficult for her. You could also tell that she wanted to play with the other dogs and run around and she looked confused as to why her body wasn't cooperating.

When I would take her out at night she was getting a little disoriented b/c we had to take a different route (the regular route was flooded) and she was stopping often or wanting to turn back. She also was intimidated by Rafi and my cousin's dog running around at night b/c she couldn't quite tell where they were. It is very dark out there and although I did have a headlamp on she still didn't feel comfortable.

The whole experience made me sad. Chama has always been much more of a country dog than a city dog and really relished her visits to the country. This time she had only very brief moments of joy. These are huge quality of life issues for her. I feel my Chama is slipping away, little by little.

Here's one funny moment: She is standing in the deep snow, heading towards Rafi's poop spot. She looks and sees me watching and knows she's busted.



Thanks for reading this.

[elginhaus]

I see why you understand about Trooper. Thank you Ruth. Funny you posted this because Trooper was standing at the front door trying to follow dad. I put the leash on him and he was ready to go. The adrenalin hit and he had his tail and ears up. We walked 1 block up and 1 block back. Its all he can do but he was thrilled to do it. Now he's back in the room resting. Its sad to see our seniors.

[LisaT]

I'm so sorry Ruth. That is so tough to watch, knowing what it might mean.

Could the disorientation perhaps just have been caution? If she didn't know the route, maybe she just wasn't feeling up to it. Indy is much like that -- she freezes in place a lot, wants to turn back. For Indy, it is a pain thing, maybe a bit of a fear thing. When she is on antibiotics (which somehow control her pain), she doesn't do those things.

I am so sorry though, to watch them lose their ability to enjoy their favorite things is heartbreaking. A good sign is that they are still things that she wants to do.

Maybe this is a new phase, where the winters get tougher. but Spring will bring new life to her.

[BowWowMeow]

Chama is not on her last legs yet. She can still get up and lie down without a problem and when she fell outside she was almost always able to pick herself up if I wasn't holding her harness. She is still very strong and here in the city she walks a total of at least 2 miles a day, usually at a very good pace. People are shocked to learn that she is almost 14. All things considered, she is doing very well.

I am just feeling sad because she loves the country and now she really can't do too much outside there anymore. The uneven ground, even when it's not frozen or snowy, causes pain for her. The disorientation was definitely caution because she didn't know where she was and also because the other dogs were moving around quickly and she didn't want them to knock her over.

Chama has always loved two things: eating and running in the woods. Now she only has one of those left.

She has always been a timid dog but now that her body doesn't work as well anymore and she can't hear she has become very, very timid and will hide if feeling nervous. This was not something she ever did before.

And she is bored. She spends a lot of time lying around just looking at me.

I think this is yet another stage in her aging. Each one is an adjustment for me, hopefully more so than for her.

[Mary Jane]

Ruth,

At 57 I am hitting aging in people and institutions I have known all my life. It is **** to regret the loss of competence and it is heaven to be loved throughout life. Whatever Chama may have lost she will never lose you.

Happy New Year to the 4 Legged Rescue Gang,

Mary Jane

[Brightelf]

I am so sorry Ruth, I know how painful it is for us to see them age. It hurts worse for us than it does for them.

I think Chama looks GREAT. You give Chama such an excellent, outstanding life, Ruth. As heartbreaking as these losses in function are, honestly-- they hurt you more than they hurt Chama. Seniors know for far longer than we do have, that that they have more limits now. Chama of course just couldn't say so before those limits were apparent. Chama has so much to enjoy yet. Some losses aren't what she is dwelling on NOW-- as she is curled up in a fave spot indoors with you right this minute, smelling your scent, maybe a toy nearby, and knowing that you will probably take her out in the yard for some "good sniffs" in a while. Treats, sweet talk, love, fun with Rafi-- that is what is in the NOW for Chama. As much as it hurts us and really truly does make our hearts break... these seniors know they seriously have it GOOD.

You are an owner who took Chama indoors when she was unsettled by Rafi and the other dog racing about in the dim light... many owners wouldn't feel how Chama feels. Chama has THE BEST owner. I say this as someone who is legally blind and is scared of movement close by me. Chama has no emotional reaction to cataracts, for her, they "just are." But, she has YOU to watch out for her. Plus, energy is what they always can feel, even when eyesight dims and hearing range becomes limited. Chama can smell your familiar, well-loved scent. She feels you caring about her-- even this moment as you read this and think of her warm soft ears, deep brown eyes, pink tongue, big waggy hound tail. She feels you... that is so much more important to her than stuff like what eyesight or hearing she used to have.

I believe and understand so much that the trip with her and Rafi out to the countryside deeply hurt you inside. I suspect, however, that Chama enjoyed the change. You were always thinking of HER needs. Lucky, lucky Chama.

[BowWowMeow]

Thanks, Patti, that is very sweet of you to say those things. And it is true that I am very careful with her (but still do allow her to have freedom because it's so important) and try to always watch out for her and imagine what she's feeling. I have always had a very empathic relationship with my animals but of course it is impossible not to anthropomorphize. I do know that I am feeling sad for the loss of my supremely athletic dog and I wish she had an easier time getting around. I want things to be perfect for her.

[BlackGSD]

Any idea how her vision is?

Just wondering if any of the issues outside at night were due to some vision loss?

I know exactly how you are feeling. Diva is 10 but I feel that she is an "old" 10. (You know how some 10 year olds are alomst still like 5 year olds and others are obviously "seniors".)

I am, at times, sorry that I ever got Siren because she is so rough and no matter how hard I try to protect Diva from her, she (Siren) still knocks Diva down sometimes. I can tell that for the most part Diva just HATES her. Siren isn't dominant acting towards Diva at all, but she still wants to do the "squiggly, mouth licking, puppy thing and Diva can't get away. And Diva isn't the type to "tell" Siren to leave her alone. Diva also can't have her stuiffed animals all the time because Siren destroys them and Diva is the type that ALWAYS had a toy with her. She would even carry them to the water dish with her.

I will NEVER have a puppy at the same time I have an old dog again!

Anyway,

[BowWowMeow]

Originally Posted By: BlackGSDAny idea how her vision is?

Just wondering if any of the issues outside at night were due to some vision loss?

I know exactly how you are feeling. Diva is 10 but I feel that she is an "old" 10. (You know how some 10 year olds are alomst still like 5 year olds and others are obviously "seniors".)

I am, at times, sorry that I ever got Siren because she is so rough and no matter how hard I try to protect Diva from her, she (Siren) still knocks Diva down sometimes. I can tell that for the most part Diva just HATES her. Siren isn't dominant acting towards Diva at all, but she still wants to do the "squiggly, mouth licking, puppy thing and Diva can't get away. And Diva isn't the type to "tell" Siren to leave her alone. Diva also can't have her stuiffed animals all the time because Siren destroys them and Diva is the type that ALWAYS had a toy with her. She would even carry them to the water dish with her.

I will NEVER have a puppy at the same time I have an old dog again!

Anyway,

Chama's eyes are decent but she no longer has good night vision. It's no problem in the city but a different story out in the country.

And I understand completely about Diva and Siren. Kai was way too much dog for Chama. He knocked her down so many times and a few times jumped and accidentally landed on her back! I really think he probably took a few months off of her life. He also tried to keep her away from me because he had some resource guarding issues.

After Kai died I met a lot of dogs before I found Rafi because I knew I had to find a dog who would respect her space. Although Rafi is full of beans he has never once knocked her down. And she loves him. She really was intimidated by Kai. I know how you must be feeling. I loved Kai with all of my heart but I did not feel good about his impact on Chama and Cleo.

[katieliz]

"whatever chama may have lost she will never lose you", what a beautiful thing to say, maryjane.

ruth, you go to some really beautiful places!

best always to chama...