We had this issue with our last Shepherd. As soon as we got her, work started just killing me. 12 hour days, etc.
The main thing we concentrated on is that I was using the same verbal commands as my wife was. She kept me abreast of everything that was going on and I tried my best to fall in line with what she was teaching.
It worked out just fine. It took a little effort but all worked out in the end.
Your husband does have to form a bond with the dog. If tug is his way to do it, fine. There is no reason that I can think of why you can't play with the dog as well.