I volunteer at a no-kill shelter; thus, co-workers and acquaintances want to come to me when they want to get rid of their pet. They seem to think I will be sympathetic, tell them what to do, and maybe give their pet a bit higher status (?) Anyway, I am hearing more and more that the cat or dog has a housebreaking problem/won't use the litter box and their husband says the animal HAS to go. So I'm thinking WHERE DO THEY FIND THESE PEOPLE TO MARRY? My husband and I certainly aren't saints, but he would never insist that I get rid of those I love so much, nor would I ask him. His lab is 13 years old and he has an occasional accident in the house. We clean up after him and try to think of solutions, but I would give up every household item I have before I would suggest that he "get rid" of Loki prematurely. Aside from that, LOL, husband knows he would be outta there far sooner than the animals if he ever did insist on something like that and I know the same! OK, I've said my piece and now I feel a little better.
Pfffffft. When I was going thru my divorce and told my ex I needed to keep the house so my GSD (and cats) would have a home. He wanted to sell. I said, "Where would Carter (dog) go? What landlord will rent to "scary" Shep (and 3 cats.)?" He said, "Well, we'll have to find a home for him." After that, the divorce couldn't happen fast enough -- and I kept my Carter until the day he died AND the house (and cats! )
The dualness (I think I made that word up) of a marriage. Takes two to work and compromise. She married him. Wonder if he complains that she values the dog more than him?
Yep, I think you are correct, Dogma. Easier to just blame the husband. Even though it makes us women sound like silly little victims who can't stand up to our husbands! You certainly get tired of the excuses at any rate.
I currently know someone who's husband was offered a FREE Graduate degree program while he works for the college sports department (no pay) with free housing as well. The catch...they can't have their dog in the housing. If he can't work out having the dog then he and his wife are turning it down. That's an owner that lives up to having a pet is a lifelong commitment to the pet. This person is willing to give up a Masters degree and major career opportunity because he and his wife don't consider a pet as an easily disposable thing. Their dog is part of their family.
I understand some people have no choice but seriously it shouldn't be a whilly nilly decision to just get rid of a pet because it has a small issue like housebreaking. Likely the fault of the owner as it is because housebreaking isn't that hard.
These people you speak of should probably never have pets to start with.
To me dogs are a lifestyle and they dictate how you live. So many people just consider them things to be kept for entertainment, and when the entertainment wears off they ditch the animal.
I've bought cars for my dogs (had to have a specific type for the space) and am buying a house in the fall and have specific requirements because of the dogs. And the man I marry is going to have to deal with that (hopefully he loves them as much as I do). They are a committment.
Another thing I hear a lot is "I want a dog SO bad, but my husband doesn't like dogs (is allergic, etc., etc.)" Which is fine, in fact good not to get one if the whole family isn't on board. But I can't imagine marrying someone that disliked dogs. In fact, pretty sure it would never go beyond a first date because...what would we talk about?
To be fair, I wasn't a dog person when we met. I had a dog as a kid but didn't envision having one as an adult. (Long-dormant dream that was kind of forgotten.) My husband wasn't a dog person, either. In fact, he didn't really like dogs at all.
Then a friend texted me a picture of the GSD puppy her ex bought their daughter and it was all over. I researched the breed, started figuring out how I could make my life work for the dog, started making noises about how I NEEDED one. Finally, a coworker of his informed him that if he was going to travel for work and leave me alone for full weeks at a time, he needed to let me have a GSD. He relented and told me to go research breeders. He did not want that dog. He didn't hate the idea of having it, but he wouldn't have sought out that puppy on his own.
In other words - life happens and things change. Luckily she's awesome and they're best friends, and while he acknowledges that he doesn't enjoy the puppy stage, there will be future German Shepherds for us.
On the flip side, I wasn't a cat person when we met (allergies). He had a cat. We've now had three additional cats together, two of whom are still alive. I'm kind of over the entire notion of cat ownership and have told him i'll never say he can't have one, but I don't want any more. I wouldn't keep the two we have if it was solely up to me and if I didn't realize I was an active participant in choosing to get them (i.e., I have a responsibility to them). So - there's that too.
This is the very reason my sister and I were estranged for years (prior to her death). She had 2 westies and got "rid" of them because she was buying a house with a pool and there was no yard for the dogs.
She moves 2 years later and buys 2 black lab puppies. She has a fenced yard. However, she spent NO time training them and they ended up banished to the back yard night and day. I never found out what happened to the labs as I quit talking to her at that point.
My animals comes first. They always have and always will. I would never for even one second contemplate giving up one of my furbabies because they have become "inconvenient".
Anyway, I am hearing more and more that the cat or dog has a housebreaking problem/won't use the litter box and their husband says the animal HAS to go. .
I remember the first time I heard someone say this to me.......basically......getting rid of the dog because it wasn't housebroken per their expectations.......I thought they were kidding......when I discovered they weren't.....I said........" Good thing your parents didn't do the same to you"...
My dog, Ranger, had problems with incontinence of his poop for about the last year of his life. He had mobility problems due to his spine, and needed help with the stairs, but other than that, he was eating like a horse, and seemed to be enjoying life. One of the vets at the practice I was going to at that time told me "I can't imagine having to cope with that!" (the incontinence)
Now this vet has a little white lapdog that he's very fond of. He even brings it to work with him. I didn't say it, but the thought running through my mind was "Just WAIT until it happens to YOUR dog!"
My dog, Ranger, had problems with incontinence of his poop for about the last year of his life. He had mobility problems due to his spine, and needed help with the stairs, but other than that, he was eating like a horse, and seemed to be enjoying life. QUOTE]
Sounds just like Loki, and the incontinence for us is just a slight inconvenience. To be fair, it doesn't happen all the time, just sometimes, and it is solid, so doesn't make a big mess. I suppose everyone has a different tolerance level for such things, but as for us we don't give up on our animals very quickly. I mean, I agree that you can't let your pet ruin everything you own. But you can really try to get advice, try different options, and most of all, give solutions some time to work.
Dogs are amazing, loyal animals, humans...not so much. There's not much I wouldn't do for my dog. Both dogs I've had give me so much happiness I could not imagine giving up on them, especially when they are older and have health issues. This idea of getting rid of a dog like an old used car is something I dont understand and hope I never do.
I can't really judge folks like this since I don't know them personally, but I wouldn't be surprised if they don't truly value themselves much, either. They just kinda survive, even if they have a lot of stuff.
A family I barely knew asked me to take their old dog because they got new carpet and furniture and the dog was going to get them dirty. They had seen me walking many different fosters and thought I would be happy to take their pet. When I told them they were cruel and I wouldn't do it, they gave the dog away on Craigslist. The family chose their house over their dog. I am surprised they didn't give their children away for getting their house dirty, too. Or just start bathing the dog!
Sad. Kind of like the "New Lamps for Old" story. Wish I had that link. One thing I've found by being around the shelter is that once someone is determined to give up their pet, they usually can't be dissuaded, you're just wasting your breath.
However, good news, my co-worker I was originally talking about has decided to keep trying with her dog! She has some new, great ideas and is going to keep working on it, instead of giving her dog away!
I would live in a tent before I'd get rid of my dogs. They are a part of me. To take an animal who loves, trusts, and would probably die for its owner, and then betray that trust and just get rid of it like an old couch makes me furious.
I can understand getting rid of a dog that has a job and is not up to par for its job, but a pet....no way
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