How do you cope?

Mrs.K · 01-20-2011, 10:32 AM

I handed over Rex yesterday and I am still balling whenever I think about him. It was love from first sight and I simply loved that dog. I wished I could have kept him myself but I knew it wasn't fair to any of them to keep yet another dog.
However I am literally balling my eyes out over him. I don't know if it is because he was our first foster or if I am unfit to be a foster because I let myself get too attached. It's like I gave away one of my own dogs. For that short period of time I considered him my dog. I treated him like one of my own and love him deeply and dearly. Especially since he has such a sweet nature.

How do you cope with letting go off a foster, how hard is it for you to let go off a foster. That experience had a huge impact on me and I am not sure if I can go through that every single time I am fostering a dog. So maybe, for me, it would be better to be more involved to get a dog from point a to point b and help that way.

How did it feel when you had to let go of your first foster?

Jax08 · 01-20-2011, 10:34 AM

Ask MAGSR about Nero! I cried when I handed him over also. You have to have the point of view that you are opening up your 'slot' for the next dog to be saved and that the rescue will find a wonderful home where Rex will be king.

Mrs.K · 01-20-2011, 10:37 AM

i could hold myself together when I handed him over but I almost wanted to take him back home. Once they drove off and he sat in the passenger seat and looked at me, that was the breaking point and I am still crying as I sit here, writing this.

I don't know how people can so easily dump their dogs. I know I couldn't.

**gsdraven** · 01-20-2011, 10:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mrs.K

How do you cope with letting go off a foster, how hard is it for you to let go off a foster. That experience had a huge impact on me and I am not sure if I can go through that every single time I am fostering a dog. So maybe, for me, it would be better to be more involved to get a dog from point a to point b and help that way.

How did it feel when you had to let go of your first foster?

How do I cope? I foster again

The first one is definitely the hardest. I was actually depressed for a couple of days when I let my first one go. I held it in until I got home and when my Mom called, I just lost it. Raven and I just layed around all weekend moping. It got easier for the 2nd, 3rd, 4th....

Now, when we let a foster go, I just spend the extra time with Raven. Admittedly she gets a little less one on one time and training when I have a foster because I am trying to get them ready to go, so I do extra special stuff with her when we are between fosters and it helps to take my mind off things.

Wolfiesmom · 01-20-2011, 10:43 AM

When I was a kid, my parents fostered a GSD for a couple months. When it came time to let go, I cried and cried. I always remembered that feeling, and I'm not sure that I could handle being a foster mom. I know how you feel Mrs. K, but you did a wonderful thing for Rex.

doreenf · 01-20-2011, 10:45 AM

I felt the very same way you did, I cried for two days, then a week after the adoptive parents picked up Ellie they sent pictures and an email on how happy she was and they were very thankful that they were choosen to adopt her. That helped me alot knowing I made the right decision and she had the right home. They all take a piece of your heart when they leave. Thank-You for fostering, its not easy but knowing that you have changed the life of a dog that otherwise would be put down or staying in a shelter. Thank goodness for fosters.

Doreen

EchoGSD · 01-20-2011, 12:01 PM

People have very different responses to fostering, and the letting go process. I've fostered dogs and cats for various groups; all are hard to give up. My strongest attachments were to a husky mix that I took from an animal hospital after they treated her for Parvo (it took several months of at home rehabilitation, socializing, obedience classes, and resume reviewing before I was comfortable letting her go to her forever home), and 2 kittens from a litter I hand raised after the queen died. When the last kitten went to her new family, my husband was so ecstatic about the now-empty kitten house that he didn't notice my tears. The tears fall, then the next foster comes into your life to mop them up. I love knowing that I helped these babies when they needed it.

Elaine · 01-20-2011, 12:25 PM

I've only had one foster that I bawled my eyes out as I handed him over. He was a very special dog and I still miss him.

Most of my fosters I'm not that attached to and make a conscious effort not to too. I liked a lot of them, but didn't get that attached.

I had a foster last summer that I was just days away from failing fostering when she was placed in a great home. I have visitation rights to her, have seen her a couple of times, get regular email updates, and will be dogsitting her for a long weekend in a couple of months. Her people are going to have to pry her out of my arms when they come to pick her back up. As hard as it will be to give her back, I'm looking forward to three whole days of snuggling her as much as I want.

Myamom · 01-20-2011, 12:36 PM

It's hard...and you cry...but what makes it all worthwhile is knowing that WITHOUT YOU that dog would not be alive. Without fosters...rescues could not save lives. Each and every foster is invaluable...one foster...equals another saved.
Many adopters love to keep in touch and update...and that really helps. I think one of my hardest to give up was a cute wgsd puppy. My family sooooo wanted to adopt him. He found a wonderful home with a BDBH volunteer...and years later...she still takes the time to send me pictures and updates...that make me smile.

As a foster...you are the most vital piece...in the process of saving a life. So while we may be sad for a short while...until the next one comes along...lol....look at the bigger picture and smile and know you saved a life.

Hatterasser · 01-20-2011, 06:02 PM

I picked up a liver puppy from Tyner, NC and had him with me until transport was arranged. I loved that puppy and would have been happy to keep him forever. But I know that the most I can handle full time are the now and then fosters, that I know will be going to their permanent homes. But the knowledge that they will live a good life and not die in some cold shelter somewhere, alone and unloved, is enough for me to handle the temporary nature of fostering.

01-20-2011, 10:32 AM	#1 (permalink)
Mrs.K Crowned Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 6,381	How do you cope? I handed over Rex yesterday and I am still balling whenever I think about him. It was love from first sight and I simply loved that dog. I wished I could have kept him myself but I knew it wasn't fair to any of them to keep yet another dog. However I am literally balling my eyes out over him. I don't know if it is because he was our first foster or if I am unfit to be a foster because I let myself get too attached. It's like I gave away one of my own dogs. For that short period of time I considered him my dog. I treated him like one of my own and love him deeply and dearly. Especially since he has such a sweet nature. How do you cope with letting go off a foster, how hard is it for you to let go off a foster. That experience had a huge impact on me and I am not sure if I can go through that every single time I am fostering a dog. So maybe, for me, it would be better to be more involved to get a dog from point a to point b and help that way. How did it feel when you had to let go of your first foster?

01-20-2011, 10:43 AM	#5 (permalink)
Wolfiesmom Crowned Member Join Date: Apr 2010 Posts: 3,810	When I was a kid, my parents fostered a GSD for a couple months. When it came time to let go, I cried and cried. I always remembered that feeling, and I'm not sure that I could handle being a foster mom. I know how you feel Mrs. K, but you did a wonderful thing for Rex. __________________ Mom to Chases Wolfgang Heinrich Von Ryan aka Wolfie born 12/20/09 Waiting for us at the bridge is Chases Chieftain aka Chiefy Left this earth and left a hole in our hearts July 2000

01-20-2011, 12:01 PM	#7 (permalink)
EchoGSD Master Member Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Warren, MI Posts: 549	People have very different responses to fostering, and the letting go process. I've fostered dogs and cats for various groups; all are hard to give up. My strongest attachments were to a husky mix that I took from an animal hospital after they treated her for Parvo (it took several months of at home rehabilitation, socializing, obedience classes, and resume reviewing before I was comfortable letting her go to her forever home), and 2 kittens from a litter I hand raised after the queen died. When the last kitten went to her new family, my husband was so ecstatic about the now-empty kitten house that he didn't notice my tears. The tears fall, then the next foster comes into your life to mop them up. I love knowing that I helped these babies when they needed it. __________________ -LeeAnn There are two kinds of dogs: Dogs who are German Shepherds, and dogs who WISH they were German Shepherds.... Echo of Someday Vom Royale, CD, RA, CGC, TDI Laughin' Tori Lori, CD, RN, CGC Marcella's Miss Ruby Dee, RN, CGC, TDI

01-20-2011, 12:25 PM	#8 (permalink)
Elaine Crowned Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Minnesota Posts: 3,785	I've only had one foster that I bawled my eyes out as I handed him over. He was a very special dog and I still miss him. Most of my fosters I'm not that attached to and make a conscious effort not to too. I liked a lot of them, but didn't get that attached. I had a foster last summer that I was just days away from failing fostering when she was placed in a great home. I have visitation rights to her, have seen her a couple of times, get regular email updates, and will be dogsitting her for a long weekend in a couple of months. Her people are going to have to pry her out of my arms when they come to pick her back up. As hard as it will be to give her back, I'm looking forward to three whole days of snuggling her as much as I want. __________________ Elaine and the herd

01-20-2011, 12:36 PM	#9 (permalink)
Myamom Crowned Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: PA Posts: 12,144	It's hard...and you cry...but what makes it all worthwhile is knowing that WITHOUT YOU that dog would not be alive. Without fosters...rescues could not save lives. Each and every foster is invaluable...one foster...equals another saved. Many adopters love to keep in touch and update...and that really helps. I think one of my hardest to give up was a cute wgsd puppy. My family sooooo wanted to adopt him. He found a wonderful home with a BDBH volunteer...and years later...she still takes the time to send me pictures and updates...that make me smile. As a foster...you are the most vital piece...in the process of saving a life. So while we may be sad for a short while...until the next one comes along...lol....look at the bigger picture and smile and know you saved a life. __________________ Mya - Queen GSD-..the void will never be filled...Love you always and forever! Until we meet again..... Ava - Princess GSD Cheyenne-GSD Buddy-Sweet lap cat - Forever in my heart...until we meet again... Baby - Crazy cat Spencer - Eclectus parrot

01-20-2011, 10:34 AM	#2 (permalink)
Jax08 Crowned Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: NNE PA Posts: 14,337	Ask MAGSR about Nero! I cried when I handed him over also. You have to have the point of view that you are opening up your 'slot' for the next dog to be saved and that the rescue will find a wonderful home where Rex will be king.

01-20-2011, 10:37 AM	#3 (permalink)
Mrs.K Crowned Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 6,381	i could hold myself together when I handed him over but I almost wanted to take him back home. Once they drove off and he sat in the passenger seat and looked at me, that was the breaking point and I am still crying as I sit here, writing this. I don't know how people can so easily dump their dogs. I know I couldn't.

01-20-2011, 10:45 AM	#6 (permalink)
doreenf Master Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 643	I felt the very same way you did, I cried for two days, then a week after the adoptive parents picked up Ellie they sent pictures and an email on how happy she was and they were very thankful that they were choosen to adopt her. That helped me alot knowing I made the right decision and she had the right home. They all take a piece of your heart when they leave. Thank-You for fostering, its not easy but knowing that you have changed the life of a dog that otherwise would be put down or staying in a shelter. Thank goodness for fosters. Doreen

01-20-2011, 06:02 PM	#10 (permalink)
Hatterasser Master Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Hatteras Island, NC Posts: 986	I picked up a liver puppy from Tyner, NC and had him with me until transport was arranged. I loved that puppy and would have been happy to keep him forever. But I know that the most I can handle full time are the now and then fosters, that I know will be going to their permanent homes. But the knowledge that they will live a good life and not die in some cold shelter somewhere, alone and unloved, is enough for me to handle the temporary nature of fostering. __________________ Diane Mom to Freya. R.I.P Thor and Seamus

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