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Dog doesn't accept hugs? (5 months old)

3K views 26 replies 20 participants last post by  blackshep 
#1 ·
rambo, our 5 month old male, on the right doesn't like hugs. julie the 1.5 year old female does. we can hug her, lay on her, whatever we want and she loves it. if we try to hug rambo he flips out. he screams like someone is killing him. wife and i are assuming it's a dominance issue, he does't like to be dominated. we are going to talk to our trainer about it during next class but our trainer isn't god and i would like some other opinions on the matter. we never lay on him hard or squeeze him hard.

wife and i are thinking just keep forcing it on him 'till he submits or realizes we are in charge, can do what we want to him and will never hurt him. i just tried to hive him a hug from behind and he wailed out. i think my nose is broken from his head. it made a loud crack noise and my whole face hurts. looks to be in regular position but i am hoping not to develop 2 black eyes.

what's the issue here?

 
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#2 ·
Um. well I certainly wouldn't FORCE the issue. How are you hugging him? And why is it necessary to begin with. I don't think it's really a dominance thing. I learned early on that Titan does not like to cuddle or snuggle. At all. He barely tolerates it now because he's 4 and knows sometimes I just wanna hug him. Otherwise, it's "get off me mom!" He just doesn't like it. He isn't dominant in that regard, very submissive to me, just doesn't liek snuggles.

You can't assume because your girl likes hug that your male will too. Every dog is different and some simply just don't like cuddling, hugging, snuggling. I personally think you should let that dream go and just accept it.

The only concerning factor would be the yelping or screaming when you do it. Have you had him since he was real little?
 
#3 ·
Hugging is not a natural thing for dogs. You aren't going to prove you are the King to them by forcing it. It's not a dominance issue. If you have a dog that likes to be hugged, great. If not, leave them be and allow them their personal space. (Read The Other End of the Leash)

And just an FYI...the guy that came up with the whole dominance theory? He now says it's based on flawed science and is crap.
 
#10 ·
(Read The Other End of the Leash)
I second this: The Other End of the Leash is one book EVERY dog owner needs to read. The author (Patricia McConnell) explains that hugging is a primate behavior that is unnatural for dogs. It can sometimes even translate as aggression in canine body language. Her study of canine behavior showed that some dog bites of humans are precipitated by a hug. This was also found in a NIH study. Some dogs are able to bridge primate communication and accept it--others aren't. So don't put your dog in a position where he may someday feel he needs to defend himself from you.

Here are a few links while you wait to get the book:

Doggone Safe: Dogs Don't like Hugs and Kisses

https://www.patriciamcconnell.com/theotherendoftheleash/hugging
 
#9 ·
So don't do it.

You need to teach him that when he has to be restrained to relax for emergencies and vet visits but you don't need to keep hugging him and irritating him.

For Seger, I hold him and when he relaxed I gave it a command and then released him. "Relax". I just needed to teach him to allow people to do that but I don't need to continuously force it on him because it is NOT natural for dogs.
 
#7 ·
Forcing a dog to accept anything it clearly does not like is always risky. I'd wait to see what your trainer has to say, he/she'll be able to assess body language and judge just what the dog is telling you.

Some dogs just don't love feeling restrained. Apsel has a similar yet milder reaction when I restrain him in any fashion. I haven't bothered to correct the squirm, because I learned to trade hugs, for him basically sitting in my lap. In situations like this, I think if one party compromises, it is only fair for everyone party to compromise.

If you start slowly, small steps may even get you all the hugs you've ever wanted eventually, but full immersion is not going to be a recommended route.
 
#8 ·
Some dogs just don't like it, they aren't people and don't hug each other I think it just freaks some dogs out. Eko doesn't like it, he used to as a puppy but now he would much rather lay next to me or at my feet and be petted. My other dog loves cuddles, even lets me hold her on her back like a baby lol so I just give all of the cuddles to her.

And all of the noisemaking, assuming he's not in pain or anything he might just be being a drama queen. Eko is the same way he will yelp like he's being murdered if he is even slightly uncomfortable. My vet says she knows a lot of GSDs like that.
 
#11 ·
interesting. i am thankful for all the immediate replies. so some dogs just don't like it and never will. these are the first 2 dogs i ever had so my experience is limited. i guess it is what it is. he likes to lay upside down and get belly rubs. we'll just do that and give julie all the hugs.
 
#13 ·
:thumbup: Believe me, I get the, "I wanna hug my dog" thing, but that dream went out the window with Titan. He doesn't even lay in bed with me if I ask. He will move if he thinks I might try to cuddle, lol. Just his personality.. cuddling si on occasion on his terms. :)
 
#14 ·
If you sit back and think about it..... Hugs are weird! Especially to an animal who doesn't want to be constrained. I cuddled a lot with my girl as a puppy... So she is cuddly. She lays her head on my face in the morning, and lays her paw across me... And she's not fond of being hugged. I can't say if a giant strange sounding being constrained me that I'd be happy either. If it scares him that much, I'd say stop. The last thing you want to do is hurt your relationship..... And your nose!


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#17 ·
he likes to lay upside down and get belly rubs.
a truly dominant dog (which is kind of a rarity in every day life) would not lay on its back near you because that is an extremely vulnerable position and they only do that with people they trust
you are the boss already since you feed the dog and provide for it
dont worry about dominance with your dog just respect that he does not care for your arms around him
what i do when a dog likes to lay on its back to get rubs is often lay down with it to snuggle and be close without hugging
 
#18 ·
My female loves hugs and cuddles. My male NO hugs!!! He sounds like a bear, he doesn't growl but make it known hey I don't like that. He has been that way since he was 7 weeks old. I just respect his personal space and if I want a doggy hug I go to Athena as she is much more affectionate and thrives on hands on affection. Sinister love praise and rubs but no restraint type hug. He will climb up and lay on my lap and lay on me just not me holding him.
Dogs have their own personalities and corks. They are not all the same.
 
#21 ·
Mine doesn't like an arm over her shoulders. She loves cuddling, kisses and hugs everywhere else, just not that one spot. I don't want to make her uncomfortable so I don't hug her that way. And that's OK. Dogs, just like people, have their little quirks.
 
#22 ·
We got kinda lucky. Both my boys luv hugs / kisses / snuggles/ etc.. BUT we have a large family so they have been loved on ALOT since we got them. Bandit loves to be picked up and held But if you try to pick up Diago you got another thing coming. Just another example of how just like people their all a little different.
 
#23 ·
I second it's a personality thing. Daisy (non-GSD) is content to be carried around like a baby and is extremely affection motivated where as Fawn is really only cuddly when she's tired haha. As long as the dog tolerates handling for grooming/vet visits/pulling ticks/etc. I think your boy is fine. :)
 
#25 ·
What Jax08 said. I've had dogs that are generally quite affectionate and loved to be near us, even leaning on us, but did not like hugs at all. She'd tolerate it briefly, then squirm away.

Keefer LOVES hugs, but he's not normal that way, lol. Halo is very cuddly and seems to enjoy hugs too, but probably just with us or people she knows, not strangers. Keef isn't very discriminating. There's pretty much no amount of affection that's too much for him and he's not picky about where it comes from. :wub:
 
#27 ·
Hugging is a human thing, not a dog thing. I think some dogs feel very confined and restricted when you do that to them.

Don't force anything like that on him, if he's that uncomfortable that he freaks out and you force the issue, that might be a good way to get yourself bit.

If he likes being petted, then just do that, if it's what he enjoys. That is the point after all right? That he likes it?

I wouldn't worry too much about it :)
 
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