Puppy barks at my scared 4 yr old son!

JasonandUs · 10-16-2011, 08:19 PM

We have 3 kids (8, 6, and 4 years old.) The older kids have been begging for a puppy for a while and last weekend my husband caved in. He got a white german shepherd from our neighbor and he is 15 weeks old. The problem....our 4 year old son is terrrified of dogs since he got nipped by one last year. We thought getting one of our own would help him 'get over' his fear, but puppy has made it worse!! Jason (the puppy) barks aggressively at our son almost every time he sees him. Son won't even go near him and doesn't want to leave his room if Jason is in the house and not in his crate. What do I do? I tried getting son to feed puppy treats but he kind of throws them at him and runs away. I feel like I'm torturing him by making him be around the puppy. ;-( Any ideas?? Thanks!

BR870 · 10-16-2011, 08:35 PM

Wow... Tough situation. As mentioned in another thread, dogs pick up on the body language and pheromones of fear. It puts them on edge.

Its bad for both your son and puppy to be in this situation. The puppy is having bad behaviors develop and may end up having trouble with children later, and your son should not have to live in fear.

Look, I say this as a father and GSD lover, and I don't say this lightly... You may need to rehome and try a smaller less threatening breed to help your son get over it. I usually loathe recommending rehoming, but this is a situation where it is warranted. JMHO...

PaddyD · 10-16-2011, 08:36 PM

Don't push the puppy on your son. Respect his problem and give him plenty of time and space. The puppy is your idea, not his. A 15 week old puppy may not have been the best idea with 3 young children if you are not accustomed to raising GSDs. They demand a lot of time, attention, training and patience. You may want to rethink your decision to get a puppy. If your husband 'caved in' it suggests he is not totally behind it. A big decision like that should have been fully supported by the entire family. And raising the puppy is both your and your husband's equal responsibility.

Gmthrust · 10-16-2011, 09:02 PM

First and foremost: the children need to be taught to respect Jason. Yes, all three of your children----not just the one who is four years old and scared. Especially since your pup is just a baby himself and you've had him for only a week. That means NO throwing anything AT HIM and then running away.....because doing those things at this point is just begging a tragedy to happen. Work on calm training right away with all four; example, see who can be the quietest....and other peaceful games. Just at first here for a while......you won't have to do it for the rest of their lives or anything that ridiculous, but do it till things are under your control.

The next thing you'll need to accomplish is teaching Jason the down position....it's okay to lure at first. Then everytime the four years old child pokes his head out to take a peek at the puppy........REWARD JASON and put him in the down position.....reward again. You can use his kibble for that purpose. Pretty soon your child will see that you have the puppy under control......and Jason will begin to automatically associate the four years old child in a positive manner as opposed to barking at the child.

KZoppa · 10-16-2011, 09:12 PM

If your son is afraid after being nipped last year, bringing an active puppy into the house was probably not the best idea due to a lack of manners. Puppies, especially GSD puppies require a great deal of work and having just one child in the house who is nervous of fearful will not be making training or socialization easy, especially with a puppy who grows faster than your child.

It sounds like this is your first GSD so props on trying with a puppy! They're a tough lot to handle sometimes. Did you and your husband consider going through a GSD rescue? I would heavily suggest this for the future as dogs in rescues are taken care of in foster homes so the foster gets to know the dog and the dogs personality. This is extremely beneficial because you can contact a rescue, let them know that you are looking for a german shepherd who is proven good with kids and they can usually pick a couple of dogs they feel would be a good match for your situation. Please keep in mind however, that some rescues have limitations for safety reasons that they won't adopt out of a certain area range and may or may not adopt to families with children under 10 years old. This is not because of a fear of the dog going after the child but more of a fear of the dog getting excited and knocking a child over accidently and the parents freaking out and blaming the dog screaming about it being aggressive when truth is, there was no aggression, just an excited dog who forgot his manners for a moment.

There are also programs you can look into that might be beneficial in helping your youngest get over his fear of dogs. I would HEAVILY advise getting your puppy into a basic puppy class. This is a great place for your puppy to start learning to work with distractions and learn manners which you can positively reinforce at home. Have your puppy begin dragging a leash around the house so you can easily grab him or stop him. This will also allow you to give a leash correction when he begins barking.

You need to get your puppy to associate your youngest with treats and fun and good things. When your youngest (when you can convince him to be around puppy) and puppy is quiet even for a second, give him a treat. This will help your puppy learn that barking at your youngest is not acceptable and that when he is quiet and calm, ONLY when your youngest is around, he gets treats so he learns to associate good things with your youngest.

Have your youngest play a game by tossing treats to your puppy. Have your youngest sit on the couch with you and your husband or your 8 year old sit on the floor, holding the leash so puppy cant lunge excitedly at the source of the treats. When your youngest tosses a treat say YAY!!!! excited and happy like so HE associates the puppy with fun as well. this is also a great way to teach your puppy to listen to your 4 year old.

Also you and your husband should continually be working with puppy not only on his manners but also on being gentle when taking treats. This will help later when you can coax your 4 year old to allow the puppy to take a treat directly from his hand. Again, the only way THIS will work, if puppy reliably learns that "gentle" or "nice" means he licks instead of bites for the treat. There are several videos on youtube you can look up to help you get ideas on exactly how to train a puppy to take treats gently. I'll see what i can find and share them here.

Get your kids involved in helping with puppies care. Feeding times, you can supervise and allow your kids to put the bowl down and release puppy. By release puppy, puppy should be learned to wait until his food is down and you or your children say "okay" or "free" before he dives in.

Also read the puppy section. There is a bite inhibition thread that would also help to read. I hope you are willing to take on the training and encouragement of both your youngest to not be fearful as well as teaching your puppy how to behave. Remember, your puppy has only been with you for a week. He's still adjusting and he's got a lot to learn. He is also a baby. You have brought another child into the house who needs to be taught.

Feel free to PM me if you have any questions. My daughter is 4 next week and my son is 2.5 yrs. I've done the puppy thing with young kids. I will be happy to offer advice and support.

msvette2u · 10-16-2011, 09:21 PM

Quote:

You may need to rehome and try a smaller less threatening breed to help your son get over it

I may not win any points here but if you do give up this dog, please do not get another. Dogs aren't jackets to be "tried on" to see how they "fit" and discarded when they do not.

Follow some of the other advice given for integrating this puppy in, but also consider that if it doesn't work out, you should probably go dogless for a while until your child is older and can tolerate a dog in the home. If you do give up the puppy, don't get another - instead get him used to other people's dogs who are known to be nice and tolerant of kids.

BTW smaller breed dogs tend to be more snappish towards young children because they get nervous around them, thinking they may be stepped on when kids play and run.

JasonandUs · 10-16-2011, 09:41 PM

First of all, thank you for your advice/ideas. We really don't think that getting rid of Jason is a great option. And I do have experience training puppies, although they were mostly labs and lab mixes. I have been working with him and he has been wonderful in every other aspect except with my little one. I will try the ideas suggested with fingers crossed! Any other ideas...I'd love to hear them. Thanks!!

KZoppa · 10-16-2011, 10:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JasonandUs

First of all, thank you for your advice/ideas. We really don't think that getting rid of Jason is a great option. And I do have experience training puppies, although they were mostly labs and lab mixes. I have been working with him and he has been wonderful in every other aspect except with my little one. I will try the ideas suggested with fingers crossed! Any other ideas...I'd love to hear them. Thanks!!

good luck!!! You're in a whole different ball park with GSDs compared to labs.

**JKlatsky** · 10-16-2011, 10:19 PM

Give them both some space and keep working with them individually. Personally I think that trying to force interactions can actually make the situation worse, even treat throwing because the tension and anxiety can be felt by both the puppy and your son.

If you son feels secure with the puppy in the crate, why not start there? Often when I introduce people/or new dogs into my house they meet through the crate. That way everyone has the opportunity to feel secure because the boundary is clearly defined. Maybe you can get your son to sit with you next to the crate and feed the puppy treats through the crate. Maybe he doesn't feed the puppy...maybe its just you. But eventually he might get curious and want to help. In the meantime, you get the puppy to classes and start teaching him calm behavior. This way when puppy comes out of the crate he can be on leash laying down and slowly acclimate to your son and your son to him. I would say at this point, they're both afraid of each other.

Not to knock kids, but they really can freak dogs out. Kids seem to love to do this thing where they reach out to pet the dog, and then when the dog moves, they jerk back their hand and squeal. And then they reach out again. This is difficult even for my well socialized adult GSDs. Take the time to teach the puppy to be good, but also take the time to help the kids learn how to get the puppy to be the best he can be.

Gmthrust · 10-16-2011, 10:20 PM

A special game that can be played for a while......ask your youngest boy to play the "invisible game." It's played by pretending the newest boy is ...."Invisible." It may help.

Another game, ask your son if you may borrow one of his stinkiest socks! Say thanks then walk away. Your son doesn't have to follow you ----(it'd be cool if he did). Make sure to have a couple of Jason's kibble already in hand......put Jason in the down position, and reward that....... and let Jason smell the sock, but don't give it to him, just only a sniff! Then reward Jason! Next, bring the sock back to your son, and be sure to thank him! Repeat as long as YOU are having fun with the stinky sock game.

Never let Jason play with any of the socks. Those are not his toys...

10-16-2011, 08:19 PM	#1 (permalink)
JasonandUs New Member Join Date: Oct 2011 Posts: 3	Puppy barks at my scared 4 yr old son! We have 3 kids (8, 6, and 4 years old.) The older kids have been begging for a puppy for a while and last weekend my husband caved in. He got a white german shepherd from our neighbor and he is 15 weeks old. The problem....our 4 year old son is terrrified of dogs since he got nipped by one last year. We thought getting one of our own would help him 'get over' his fear, but puppy has made it worse!! Jason (the puppy) barks aggressively at our son almost every time he sees him. Son won't even go near him and doesn't want to leave his room if Jason is in the house and not in his crate. What do I do? I tried getting son to feed puppy treats but he kind of throws them at him and runs away. I feel like I'm torturing him by making him be around the puppy. ;-( Any ideas?? Thanks!

10-16-2011, 08:35 PM	#2 (permalink)
BR870 Master Member Join Date: May 2011 Location: Baton Rouge, LA Posts: 828	Wow... Tough situation. As mentioned in another thread, dogs pick up on the body language and pheromones of fear. It puts them on edge. Its bad for both your son and puppy to be in this situation. The puppy is having bad behaviors develop and may end up having trouble with children later, and your son should not have to live in fear. Look, I say this as a father and GSD lover, and I don't say this lightly... You may need to rehome and try a smaller less threatening breed to help your son get over it. I usually loathe recommending rehoming, but this is a situation where it is warranted. JMHO... __________________ Rob Ezra von der Rennbahn Princess Abigail "Abbie" Kai (RIP) Loki (RIP)

10-16-2011, 09:02 PM	#4 (permalink)
Gmthrust Member Join Date: Mar 2010 Posts: 142	First and foremost: the children need to be taught to respect Jason. Yes, all three of your children----not just the one who is four years old and scared. Especially since your pup is just a baby himself and you've had him for only a week. That means NO throwing anything AT HIM and then running away.....because doing those things at this point is just begging a tragedy to happen. Work on calm training right away with all four; example, see who can be the quietest....and other peaceful games. Just at first here for a while......you won't have to do it for the rest of their lives or anything that ridiculous, but do it till things are under your control. The next thing you'll need to accomplish is teaching Jason the down position....it's okay to lure at first. Then everytime the four years old child pokes his head out to take a peek at the puppy........REWARD JASON and put him in the down position.....reward again. You can use his kibble for that purpose. Pretty soon your child will see that you have the puppy under control......and Jason will begin to automatically associate the four years old child in a positive manner as opposed to barking at the child. Last edited by Gmthrust; 10-16-2011 at 09:11 PM.

10-16-2011, 09:12 PM	#5 (permalink)
KZoppa Crowned Member Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Maryland kinda missing CO Posts: 13,832	If your son is afraid after being nipped last year, bringing an active puppy into the house was probably not the best idea due to a lack of manners. Puppies, especially GSD puppies require a great deal of work and having just one child in the house who is nervous of fearful will not be making training or socialization easy, especially with a puppy who grows faster than your child. It sounds like this is your first GSD so props on trying with a puppy! They're a tough lot to handle sometimes. Did you and your husband consider going through a GSD rescue? I would heavily suggest this for the future as dogs in rescues are taken care of in foster homes so the foster gets to know the dog and the dogs personality. This is extremely beneficial because you can contact a rescue, let them know that you are looking for a german shepherd who is proven good with kids and they can usually pick a couple of dogs they feel would be a good match for your situation. Please keep in mind however, that some rescues have limitations for safety reasons that they won't adopt out of a certain area range and may or may not adopt to families with children under 10 years old. This is not because of a fear of the dog going after the child but more of a fear of the dog getting excited and knocking a child over accidently and the parents freaking out and blaming the dog screaming about it being aggressive when truth is, there was no aggression, just an excited dog who forgot his manners for a moment. There are also programs you can look into that might be beneficial in helping your youngest get over his fear of dogs. I would HEAVILY advise getting your puppy into a basic puppy class. This is a great place for your puppy to start learning to work with distractions and learn manners which you can positively reinforce at home. Have your puppy begin dragging a leash around the house so you can easily grab him or stop him. This will also allow you to give a leash correction when he begins barking. You need to get your puppy to associate your youngest with treats and fun and good things. When your youngest (when you can convince him to be around puppy) and puppy is quiet even for a second, give him a treat. This will help your puppy learn that barking at your youngest is not acceptable and that when he is quiet and calm, ONLY when your youngest is around, he gets treats so he learns to associate good things with your youngest. Have your youngest play a game by tossing treats to your puppy. Have your youngest sit on the couch with you and your husband or your 8 year old sit on the floor, holding the leash so puppy cant lunge excitedly at the source of the treats. When your youngest tosses a treat say YAY!!!! excited and happy like so HE associates the puppy with fun as well. this is also a great way to teach your puppy to listen to your 4 year old. Also you and your husband should continually be working with puppy not only on his manners but also on being gentle when taking treats. This will help later when you can coax your 4 year old to allow the puppy to take a treat directly from his hand. Again, the only way THIS will work, if puppy reliably learns that "gentle" or "nice" means he licks instead of bites for the treat. There are several videos on youtube you can look up to help you get ideas on exactly how to train a puppy to take treats gently. I'll see what i can find and share them here. Get your kids involved in helping with puppies care. Feeding times, you can supervise and allow your kids to put the bowl down and release puppy. By release puppy, puppy should be learned to wait until his food is down and you or your children say "okay" or "free" before he dives in. Also read the puppy section. There is a bite inhibition thread that would also help to read. I hope you are willing to take on the training and encouragement of both your youngest to not be fearful as well as teaching your puppy how to behave. Remember, your puppy has only been with you for a week. He's still adjusting and he's got a lot to learn. He is also a baby. You have brought another child into the house who needs to be taught. Feel free to PM me if you have any questions. My daughter is 4 next week and my son is 2.5 yrs. I've done the puppy thing with young kids. I will be happy to offer advice and support. __________________ The more people I meet and talk to,the more I love my dogs and their intelligence. www.krystalscollarcreations.weebly.com Riley GSD/BC 1/10/05 Zena GSD 6/1/03 Shasta GSD 5/5/10

10-16-2011, 10:19 PM	#9 (permalink)
JKlatsky Moderator Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Riverview, FL Posts: 2,985	Give them both some space and keep working with them individually. Personally I think that trying to force interactions can actually make the situation worse, even treat throwing because the tension and anxiety can be felt by both the puppy and your son. If you son feels secure with the puppy in the crate, why not start there? Often when I introduce people/or new dogs into my house they meet through the crate. That way everyone has the opportunity to feel secure because the boundary is clearly defined. Maybe you can get your son to sit with you next to the crate and feed the puppy treats through the crate. Maybe he doesn't feed the puppy...maybe its just you. But eventually he might get curious and want to help. In the meantime, you get the puppy to classes and start teaching him calm behavior. This way when puppy comes out of the crate he can be on leash laying down and slowly acclimate to your son and your son to him. I would say at this point, they're both afraid of each other. Not to knock kids, but they really can freak dogs out. Kids seem to love to do this thing where they reach out to pet the dog, and then when the dog moves, they jerk back their hand and squeal. And then they reach out again. This is difficult even for my well socialized adult GSDs. Take the time to teach the puppy to be good, but also take the time to help the kids learn how to get the puppy to be the best he can be. __________________ Argos vom Eisernen Loewen VPG1, CGC, TC 3-3-07 Bianka vom Eisernen Loewen BH, CGC, TC 1-3-08 Cade vom Eisernen Loewen CGC 3-25-09 D'Artagnan (Tag) vom Eisernen Loewen 2-2-10 G Aiko von Burkndeiros SchH 3, IPO3, FH, TC, KKL2 9-17-02

10-16-2011, 08:36 PM	#3 (permalink)
PaddyD Banned Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: MassaCHEWsetts Posts: 5,222	Don't push the puppy on your son. Respect his problem and give him plenty of time and space. The puppy is your idea, not his. A 15 week old puppy may not have been the best idea with 3 young children if you are not accustomed to raising GSDs. They demand a lot of time, attention, training and patience. You may want to rethink your decision to get a puppy. If your husband 'caved in' it suggests he is not totally behind it. A big decision like that should have been fully supported by the entire family. And raising the puppy is both your and your husband's equal responsibility.

10-16-2011, 09:41 PM	#7 (permalink)
JasonandUs New Member Join Date: Oct 2011 Posts: 3	First of all, thank you for your advice/ideas. We really don't think that getting rid of Jason is a great option. And I do have experience training puppies, although they were mostly labs and lab mixes. I have been working with him and he has been wonderful in every other aspect except with my little one. I will try the ideas suggested with fingers crossed! Any other ideas...I'd love to hear them. Thanks!!

10-16-2011, 10:20 PM	#10 (permalink)
Gmthrust Member Join Date: Mar 2010 Posts: 142	A special game that can be played for a while......ask your youngest boy to play the "invisible game." It's played by pretending the newest boy is ...."Invisible." It may help. Another game, ask your son if you may borrow one of his stinkiest socks! Say thanks then walk away. Your son doesn't have to follow you ----(it'd be cool if he did). Make sure to have a couple of Jason's kibble already in hand......put Jason in the down position, and reward that....... and let Jason smell the sock, but don't give it to him, just only a sniff! Then reward Jason! Next, bring the sock back to your son, and be sure to thank him! Repeat as long as YOU are having fun with the stinky sock game. Never let Jason play with any of the socks. Those are not his toys...

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