What if you can't handle being there

[Lauri & The Gang]

I have a friend that loves her dog but cannot emotionally handle being there if the dog would need to be euthanized.

I know her dog, have met him several times and he likes me. I told her that I would take him in for her if it came to that.

I have also gone with other friends to be their moral support when the moment comes.

[Qyn]

I have also been in that situation and have been there with the dog during euthanasia while the owner was in the reception area. The owner in that case is mentally impaired and would have distressed the dog had she been present. She regrets not being there but I have answered her questions honestly and she realises Toby was less stressed by her absence - he was also full of dried liver treats at the end.

[srfd44-2]

What a wonderful friend you are. Yes, some people can not handle being there, but that does not mean they loved their pet any less then someone who is present. It is a very hard thing to do. I was six months pregnant when my first GSD, Czar had to be put to sleep because of cancer and my vet wouldn't let me stay in the room because of my condition. My second GSD, Ringo, I was with when he was put to sleep at home. I held him the whole time and told him what a good boy he was and I loved him so much. Maybe if the pet has something with your scent on it then in a way you are there with them.

[3K9Mom]

Originally Posted By: Qynhe was also full of dried liver treats at the end.

I think this is as close as a dog can come to heaven on earth.

With heaven awaiting him....

A lovely image. A wonderful friend.

[3K9Mom]

My parents had to euthanize their GSD a few years ago, and they could not bear to be there for the actual procedure. But they spent 11 years building up a phenomenal relationship with a generous spirit of a vet, and Ralph adored her. He was with a friend he trusted at the end. Would I have been there with him had I known this was coming? Yes, but it came very fast for all of us; the stress of Wildfires, and losing his home devastated him and suddenly, it was his time (his brother, my aunt's dog died two months earlier under similar conditions). I couldn't fly to CA in time. But Ralphie had a good friend with him at the end, someone who could honestly tell him what a wonderful dog he was all of his life, someone who truly adored him. Being there at the end is an amazing thing. I hope to always be there for my dogs.

But I realized that my parents built up the kind of relationship with their vet that she could stand in as their surrogate and do a good job. And I commend all three of them. He left this world knowing he was loved.

[Timber1]

I apogolize if this sounds offensive, but when the time comes the most important thing for a dog owner is to be there with there dog.

Someone cares for a dog its entire life, but cannot be there to support the animal when it passes. Going with other friends is helpful, and I will never forget when my daughter unannounced showed up when I put my dog down.

But, as tough as it is, I think it is very important the dog's owner be their when the dog is put down. If you cannot be there when the dog wants you most I have a problem.

Futhermore, the dog should be allowed to pass on in his/her home, not at some Vet's office.

Excuses a plenty, but I just don't buy them.



There is no way on God's earth I would allow my dogs to die, away from there home and without me present.

Lauri, how can you friend let this dog die, which she has perhaps cared for many years, without being their when the dog needs her most.

[Skye'sMom]

Although I can and will be there for all my dogs, I understand that some people cannot. We are all different - we all have to approach this in the way best for us and our dog. No one knows what has come before in the person's life or what is currently going on.

Some people see things as black and white - I am glad I can see in many shades and not feel my way is the only way.

For those who have all the answers - how great for you.

For the rest us, we will all do the best we can. For some of us it will mean being with our dog. For others it will be knowing that cannot happen for their personal reasons and finding the best alternative possible.

For everyone making this choice, I wish you peace in your choice.

In the end it always comes back to the same thing - what's best for the dog? Yes, there are people who cannot handle the situation and their stress does the dog no good. Also dogs obviously aren't capable of knowing what is happening. Being there at the end for them is a human value that dogs have no concept of. They certainly do understand stress though and they recognize it in their owners and so become stressed themselves. A stressful end is to be avoided of course and if being seperated from their owner is the only way to assure this then that is what's best for the dog.

For my own dogs though I have been there to say goodbye to all of them save poor Kaiser who was murdered in my absence. I'm glad I was able to be there for them too. For me it was a big part of my connection to them. But I do understand those who just cannot bear to go through it. All of the experiences I have been through have been gut wrenching.

[SuzyE]

i never imagined as a pet sitter I would face euthanasia with my clients. I have talked three clients into being there although I would have done it for them-they all thank me now. It's not as bad as you might think. It is a heart wrenching decision and it really affects people drastically. More important is the vet and the level of compassion they have. I have been to euthanasias where the vet was ridiculously cold and it was maddening-I have been where a vet kissed a dog right on the mouth-that is my vet. I would encourage your friend to be there without pressing too much.

[Qyn]

Originally Posted By: Timber1I apogolize if this sounds offensive, but when the time comes the most important thing for a dog owner is to be there with there dog.

Someone cares for a dog its entire life, but cannot be there to support the animal when it passes. Going with other friends is helpful, and I will never forget when my daughter unannounced showed up when I put my dog down.

But, as tough as it is, I think it is very important the dog's owner be their when the dog is put down. If you cannot be there when the dog wants you most I have a problem.

Futhermore, the dog should be allowed to pass on in his/her home, not at some Vet's office.

Excuses a plenty, but I just don't buy them.



There is no way on God's earth I would allow my dogs to die, away from there home and without me present.

Lauri, how can you friend let this dog die, which she has perhaps cared for many years, without being their when the dog needs her most.

Timber, were you there anytime your dog needed to be anethetised? And, I mean there, right at the operating table, if you haven't then I throw your questions right back at you as the same results could occur.

If someone knows they will be so distressed that they will upset their dog (who has most likely been anethetised at some other point) that is far more loving than being present for some other motive unrelated to the dog's wellbeing.

Being with your dog at this time is very difficult and, if you can, I agree it is a significant and moving way to say goodbye but I would never fault anyone who is too upset to be present during the process.