Afraid for Heidi and me
This post is probably going to be pretty disjointed and I hope I can even be understood. Heidi is 12, HD. She is getting worse. Now I can't get her to go for walks at all. I took her swimming last week and she did really well and enjoyed it. I told her we would start going every day, but life got in the way and we haven't been back. This morning she had a really difficult time getting up and moving. She did eat all of her breakfast, but while I was getting ready for work she was watching me and had this look on her face and I wonder if this is the telling me that everybody talks about but I haven't experienced in the past. I am so scared. I always think I'll be fine, that it's just another part of life, but that is never the experience, is it? I just have this bad feeling that either she will pass soon or that I will need to make the decision soon. Up till the past few weeks, she was doing so well and I thought we would be the medical miracle and she would see 13 years, which happens next month. I wanted to stay home from work today, but I share work with a co-worker and just as I had about decided to take the afternoon off, call the vet, go swimming, spend it with her, my co-worker called ME and let me know she is ill today. It is frowned upon for both of us to take time off at the same time. Also, I want to spend as much time now with Heidi as I can, but I also worry that the time may come later that I may need to take time off more and I don't want to not have any. Does that make sense? I am so scared.