I wasn't sure if this was the right section to post this but wasn't sure where would be right so I am putting it here. Actually I wasn't even sure if I should post it at all, I haven't talked about this but I wanted to get it out.
I almost lost Bianca ~3 weeks ago to internal bleeding, she had emergency surgery, they found growths on her spleen (which was removed) and liver and after biopsies she was diagnosed with hemangiosarcoma (if anyone hasn't read the thread and wants to here's the link: Bianca is having spleen/mass removal surgery tonight
). She is recovered from surgery and doing pretty well at the moment. When I found out, I was devastated... Bianca is only 8 years old, and I've only had her for about 3 and a half years; I never expected to be dealing with something like this so soon and I've been having a lot of trouble dealing with it.
I lost my two senior dogs to cancer in 2008, within 3 months of each other, and I got Bianca a few months later after losing my heart dog Ginger my Golden Retriever. The experience of losing them both was very hard, I basically did hospice care for Pooch my Rat Terrier mix who had lung cancer, he could not do chemo due to a heart murmur, and then about 2 months later I found out what our vet had thought was a skin infection Ginger had turned out to be cutaneous lymphoma. She went downhill very fast. They were both much older than Bianca though, 14 and 12, it seems so unfair for her to have this happen so young...
I am mentioning this to give an idea of where I was coming from when I found out Bianca's diagnosis... I had a lot of trouble accepting it and wasn't sure I could handle going through this again so soon. I also just lost my 17+ year old cat in April, after having done a lot of "nursing" care with her for a long time (she had kidney disease but then at the end we think she developed heart failure.)
One of the things I started thinking about, is the reason I wrote this post: I don't know if I can keep doing this. I don't know if I can get another dog after Bianca and go through this heartbreak again... If I do, I am not sure about getting another GSD again... GSDs were always my favorites and I had wanted one for many years, and Bianca was finally that GSD I had always wanted...although she was not exactly what I had been expecting to get, I was happy... I expected I would have more Shepherds after her. Even though I knew that GSDs were prone to cancer and other health problems, I guess the reality of it, and reading all the other stories of people who went through hemangiosarcoma with their GSDs is getting to me.