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post #1 of 200 (permalink) Old 02-29-2012, 12:38 PM Thread Starter
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We don't have long

I have been putting off writing this. Every time I go to start my hands start shaking and I start to cry.

It seems every time we start to make progress with Kaos' pain management, we just as quickly start to go backwards. Last night the vet switched his routine and we are giving it 2 weeks to test it out.
I am not hopeful as in my heart I truly believe we can not make him comfortable enough for me to feel good about.

He has been showing increased discomfort in all of his daily activities, even with his extensive med intake. He is also starting to get defensive when he thinks you are too close to his back end, this is showing me he is not even close to being comfortable. In the last 2 weeks my husband has had to help him stand up 4x. This is something I can not do on a daily basis since I did it two weeks ago and reaggravated my 2 herniated discs. Having reinjured myself I was given a pretty good wake up call to what it's like to have chronic pain, and this is also playing into our decision. I have always said the minute we can not control his pain, we have to let him go. We have decided to give the new scheduling 2 weeks and if it is not helping immensely we will be picking a date to let Kaos be at peace.

Logically I am 100% sure this is the right thing to do for him.....but it's killing me. He still wants to play, eat, drink, love.....but his body is not capable.
Also since he is getting more defensive, I do not want him to snap at someone "too close" and to have that be how he is remembered, does that make sense?

I have a couple questions for all of you who have been through this.
How did you prepare yourself mentally? Are there special things you did?, wish you had done after the fact?
Also with another dog in the house....Sherman is 11 months old and has never known a life here w/out Kaos. Did you start seperating them more beforehand, ie right now they have times of the day they go outside together, do you limit those, so your other dog gets used to being alone? In the house we already do crate/rotate due to our vet recommendation a couple months ago....but is there more we should be doing?

My kids have also never known a house without Kaos, so we have been preparing for this for awhile. We have discussed sometimes it is the best thing you can do for them, how it is the most loving thing. Both of them have friends who've had to do the same in the last couple months so we used those opportunities to discuss that while it was hard, it was very kind.

Sorry if this is rambled, I have been a wreck the last couple of days, and I am sure that isn't going to change anytime soon.

Thank you in advance for any input you can offer.

Mr Sherman Tank
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post #2 of 200 (permalink) Old 02-29-2012, 12:41 PM
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I'm sorry.


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post #3 of 200 (permalink) Old 02-29-2012, 12:46 PM
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Oh, I'm so, so, sorry that you are going through this.
I really am awkward about this so forgive me. I am kind of of the thought that if Kaos can't get up on his own or the desire to love and play is still there but the pain is too great that he may be frustrated. That's the heartbreaker part.
If he also can't get up to eliminate without excruciating agony it may be time to say goodbye.

Once again I'm sorry. And, I did not mean to sound blunt. Your post is touching and sad I and I really feel for you.

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post #4 of 200 (permalink) Old 02-29-2012, 12:48 PM
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I am going through this myself right now. Falko has cancer and it is spreading, we have run out of options. I have no words of wisdom to share. I make sure I hug him everyday. I cry every day.

As for my 10 month pup, he will have all my time and attention when I let Falko go. When he gets around two, I most likely will get another. Until then, we will grieve together and comfort each other.
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post #5 of 200 (permalink) Old 02-29-2012, 12:49 PM
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Candice.....I'm sorry. I have no doubt you will not let Kaos suffer one second too long. I don't have any advice about Sherman, but the fact that your kids are aware will help them be a little more prepared. I suspect there wil be much grief; I respected, acknowledged and shared in my children's when we lost our dog last spring. I emphasized how good it was for them to honor that love. I believe it helped them heal. We chose to all be with him to stroke and love him; your situation may be different but have faith in the strength of your children. They've had a great role model.

My thoughts are with you-- But take comfort in the lessons of love and devotion that Kaos has taught them, in a way unmatched by humans.
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post #6 of 200 (permalink) Old 02-29-2012, 12:55 PM
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I am so sorry that you are going through this.

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Waiting for us at the bridge is Chases Chieftain aka Chiefy Left this earth and left a hole in our hearts July 2000
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post #7 of 200 (permalink) Old 02-29-2012, 12:56 PM
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I know how hard this is having gone through it with previous dogs.
You have my sympathy/empathy.
You are preparing the right way, giving him every chance to have a tolerable life. But that time comes when you know that you have to spare him any more discomfort. It is never easy and we always (at least I do) feel guilty about not coming up with a miracle to make things better.
Keep in mind what a great friend he was and all the good times you had.
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post #8 of 200 (permalink) Old 02-29-2012, 01:03 PM
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I'm so sorry you and your family have to go thru this. No matter what I do trying to prepare it never seems enough.
As grusome as some may think it is, I do allow my other animals to say good bye very breifly when I come home, they know. For your children, they may find comfort in the Rainbow Bridge The Rainbow Bridge Poem - Petloss.com
Be strong, thats really all you can try to do.

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post #9 of 200 (permalink) Old 02-29-2012, 01:05 PM
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I am so sorry you have to go thru this. I just had to do this last August. TJ also was still full of life, happy, eating, loving, but his back end just wasn't able to keep up. I had him on a lot of pain medications and probably kept him a little longer than I should have. After the third time he fell down the stairs and he looked at me with that LOOK I knew what I had to do. I did not seperate him from the others. Kya had only known the last 11 years with him and they were best friends.

The morning of I made him a huge breakfast! Bacon, eggs, toast with butter. Anything he wanted. We had some play time, went out and had our last walk as a family, laid on the floor and loved as much as we could. I was lucky enough to have the vet come to my house as I wanted Kya to be with him, I didn't want him to just leave and never come back. She laid by his side the entire time.

There is no easy way to do it. There is no right thing to say. There is never a good time. We just have to think of their quality of life, and that you are doing the best thing for Kaos. It may not be the best for you and your family, but it may be for him.

I again am so sorry you are going thru this. It is all to familiar to me. I'm crying as I type this because I know how painful it can be. And if you ever need to talk, you may not know me but feel free to pm me. Cyber hugs to you and your family, human and canine.


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post #10 of 200 (permalink) Old 02-29-2012, 01:06 PM
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It's a really hard decision, and it's going to be awful, and you'll be sad and you'll miss him, but I don't think there's anything you can do to prepare yourself for it, you just get through it because you have to.

All you can really do is be sure that it's the right time (he will probably let you know, so watch for signs that he's ready to give up, if he hasn't already) so you don't second guess yourself later, and also make sure that you're not prolonging his suffering because you're just not ready to let him go yet. It's a difficult balance.

If Sherman is very close to him you will probably see signs of him grieving and missing his buddy just like you will. I'm not sure how you could minimize that, just try and be there for him and give him lots of love and attention.

Keefer was not himself for a couple of months after Dena died, it was very clear that he missed her, and missed having doggy companionship. She was his half sister, about a year older, so he grew up with her from 9 weeks old and they were very bonded to each other. It took some time, but he got better.


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