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Old 02-29-2012, 01:16 PM   #11 (permalink)
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I am so sorry Candice
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Old 02-29-2012, 01:28 PM   #12 (permalink)
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It's so hard to do. I had about a week to decide about our last gsd Omy, when she started having seizures and probably strokes when she was almost 11 yrs old. Like you, I knew it was the right thing to do but I kept searching her face and eyes and body for signs of improvement that I really knew wouldn't come. I made more than one appt and cancelled. I pretty much cried all the time. Afterwards I doubted my decision and felt guilty. Thankfully our dogs are spared those emotions and can trust us with their very lives, which ultimately mean we have to make the decision to spare them any more pain or sickness. I'm sorry you have to go through this
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Old 02-29-2012, 01:31 PM   #13 (permalink)
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I am so sorry you're having to go through this. You and your family will be in my prayers and thoughts.
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Old 02-29-2012, 01:33 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Thank you everyone for your kind words.....even though everyone's posts left me drenched in tears, I truly appreciate it.

I thought once we made the decision to set a date I would feel better, not constantly wondering....but it hasn't worked that way.

I find myself going through such emotions, I go back and forth to wanting to do more with Sherman one on one to distract from the pain, to resenting Sherman for wanting my attention. Is that bad? I feel bad admitting it.

I know in my heart it's right for Kaos, and well if I waited until it was right for us, that day would never come.

I am also going back and forth to dreading the first few weeks of waking up w/out him to a feeling of relief knowing he will not be suffering and struggling to keep up.

Sorry for all the rambling, Thank You all so much for your support
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Old 02-29-2012, 01:47 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Candice I am so sorry. I know from your posts the love you have for Kaos.I look at our Daisy w/ her ever widening stance,her staring at the wall and then suddenly she's ok again. You have tried so hard to keep Kaos comfortable and have went to great lenghts medically to ease his pain. I have no doubt that you will put Kaos first no matter how much it hurts.My thoughts and prayers are w/ you . Your talking about how you dont want him remembered for a possible negative moment rang home w/ me. I hope that you can find comfort in this time.
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Old 02-29-2012, 01:50 PM   #16 (permalink)
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When Linus left us at 15, we had kept him alive too long based on my youngest daughter who learned to walk by holding onto him, and a veterinarian who just would not let any dog go.

I have not regretted helping other dogs go when it was time but have always regretted not letting him go-I knew it was time. He passed away on our back deck, all alone, one day while I was doing something else.

It is so terribly hard when you know they are suffering but the twinkle is still in their eyes.

I don't think you can ever prepare for it. You just take care of the logistical stuff up front so it is not a distraction. My other dogs have never seemed all that upset or impacted by the change other than looking for their buddy for a few days. And then, give your kids some lattitude to manage their grief however they can as it is not always so obvious with kids......sometimes they do all kinds of things to maks their feelings.

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Old 02-29-2012, 01:55 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mysweetkaos View Post
I find myself going through such emotions, I go back and forth to wanting to do more with Sherman one on one to distract from the pain, to resenting Sherman for wanting my attention. Is that bad? I feel bad admitting it.
Don't feel bad about wanting to spend time alone with Sherman. Caretakers need a little distraction themselves sometimes.

As far as resenting him wanting your attention, he doesn't understand what is going on. But it is okayfor you to want some peaceful time with your thoughts to prepare for the inevitable.
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Old 02-29-2012, 02:04 PM   #18 (permalink)
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hi candice,

you don't know me, i'm just a junior member. but i've just recently been thru this w/one of our long time pack members.

it took me about 2mos to make the final decision. probably it was too long a wait, but i just couldn't do it sooner. finally the day came it was just a day like any other. but i looked at Teddy sleeping and thought, that's it. it's just too much pain for too long, and it has to end today while the pain is back a bit, on a good day. so Teddy's last day was calm and sunny and happy and i can remember him that way, and he can leave this world that way too.

we had talked about it extensively between the family members. i didn't separate the other dogs, they all checked on him continuously, mouthing him, sniffing him, laying by him in his sleep, following him in the yard (he was deaf/blind), checking his crate in the mornings and at 3am when it was everyone else's time to go out they checked Teddy's snoring w/me. i didn't stop them or cut back their time. he was still a pack member, just the elder citizen. they knew it.

when i brought his body back from the vet wrapped in his crate blanket i didn't keep them away either. i took the whole pack out to the cemetery in the back yard where i have our other previous members buried. i had prepared his place before we left earlier. i laid his body beside his place. i finished deepening the bed, lined it with green leaves and flowers. while he laid there they all nuzzled the blanket, they opened it, they sniffed him, moved his body around, walked around him, tried to make him get up, after about half an hour they all just walked away. the only one that didn't was Grover, the little mixed breed i have that was very close to Teddy (the one that was put down). he lay down next to Teddy and rested his muzzle on his neck. i waited another 15mins or so but Grover didn't move. i had to take Teddy's body away from him and bury him. i put stones over Teddy's place and a cover over that. Grover lay down next to the cover. 20mins later i had to go out and carry Grover in the house.

it's now been just over 2wks and Grover is just beginning to recover. he's been grieving all this time w/depression and tearing up his skin and hair. yesterday he started eating normally again. everyone else recovered just fine w/in about 2days. but they did grieve, in a shorter time, and not as drastically as Grover.

i think you'll know, in your heart exactly the right day and time. you'll feel it. it'll just hit you at an odd moment and you'll suddenly feel at peace with the decision and the tears will feel relieving instead of painful. your pup may not grieve as heavily as my dogs did, mine are all adults and spent years and years w/Teddy. but he might miss him and wander around corners wondering where his buddy is, and look to you for guidance. be at peace about that. be at peace that there is the bridge and we once again will meet where there is no pain or tears.

dw
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Old 02-29-2012, 02:36 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Thank you everyone. All of your personal stories have really touched me and made me more secure in knowing it is the right choice.

I, however, had never thought about "afterwards". Living in the city, we can't really bring him home to bury. I hadn't even thought of all of that. I need to make a list now of things to have taken care of with the vet so that I have everything covered.

Something one of you said really hit home with me and almost made me feel calmer. Not sure who said it now, and don't have it in me to re-read, but it was the part about looking into his eyes and hoping to see some sign of relief, while knowing in my heart it wouldn't be there. All too familiar.

Thank you all so much
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Old 02-29-2012, 02:38 PM   #20 (permalink)
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I am so sorry that you are going through this. I had to make this decision last Nov for Tessa. i originally wanted to wait until after the holidays but after a long talk with a friend in the rescue, she made me realize that I was doing that for me and not Tessa and it was best not to. Once I got Tessa to the vet for the final appointment, the vet made me realize that I was right not to wait. The old girl had been in much more pain then I had known.

Once i made my decision, I made the appointment for a Monday. I spent the entire last weekend spoiling her. She went for lots of long car rides (her favorite thing), I bought a 10lb roll of hamburger and gave her hamburger every night for dinner the entire weekend. I spent as much time with her just loving on her. Like you Kaos, she was still eating, drinking, and happy. But she was unable to go up and down the stairs without stopping multiple times, she could no longer get in and out of the car with out a large amount of assistance, and she had fallen a couple of times. The final straw was that she was no longer able to lay in one spot for more than 30 minutes or so. She was constantly having to get up to change position so she wasn't sleeping well. When I told her vet this, she told me that Tessa was in a lot more pain than I knew.

I had her cremated so I did not bring her home right away. Dharma looked everywhere for her that night. But with in a couple of days Dharma was okay. I did feel a lot of guilt and just sadness. I cried a lot.

I wish you the best during this difficult time. My thoughts are with you.
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