Tough situation-Dog is suffering

[Wolfmother]

The owner is my brother. His dog Charlie is now suffering but my brother refuses to let go. He made a decision to euthanize his dog last night, but the vet he wanted was not available. Now he found this loophole and is being very irrational and wants the dog to hang in until New Years. Sadly, I don't think Charlie will make it that long. My sister-in-law is taking care of him as best as she can, but if she mentions anything about how sick Charlie is, my brother gets very angry at her.

I know what the right thing is to do, but it is so hard to sit back and watch this poor dog suffer. He is getting Tramadol for pain right now and that seems to keep him comfortable for a while. How do you help someone in this situation? It isn't my dog so I can't do anything and my sister-in-law certainly can't either. I feel so horrible for thinking this, but I almost want to take him for the euthanasia myself, bring him back to the house and have my brother think he just passed on his own. I obviously would never do this, but I am feeling very desperate for this poor dog right now. Not really looking for advise, as I know what has to be done but my hands are tied. I guess I just needed to vent.

[SouthernThistle]

Euthanizing a beloved four-legged friend is never an easy task especially for the owner.

What is this "loophole" that he found ("Now he found this loophole and is being very irrational...")?

Perhaps you need to have his Vet (who I assume knows how sick Charlie is) give your brother a call and talk him through it? I know you said the Vet he wanted is unavailable, but is that the regular Vet and how "unavailable" is he/she?

[jarn]

I'm sorry, that's very difficult. It's never easy to say goodbye, and I can imagine how difficult it is to watch what is happening with Charlie and your brother's family. Maybe you and your sister in law can together work on talking to your brother?

[Wolfmother]

I have gone through euthanasia myself too many times, so I do understand how difficult it is.

The loophole is that he decided to do it last night and since the vets he wanted weren't available at that moment, he has changed his mind about doing it.

The vet already did talk to him about this and he hung the phone up on her and he is now very angry at them too. He won't answer his phone for anyone now so even if she did call, he wouldn't even talk to her.

The other vet is on vacation all this week. He will not go to an emergency vet or another vet at his usual vet office.

[rjvamp]

Tramadol is a good drug and should provide some comfort. I'm not sure as to what degree of suffering you are talking. Is Charlie whimpering and crying in pain constantly? Even the stress of seeing a different vet to be put down (and they know they are not waking back up or something "bad" is happening to them - they can see it in our eyes) can be horrible. Sounds like your brother is happy to have another day or so, but wants his own vet that he and Charlie is comfortable with doing the procedure. Once it is done in your brother's time and with the right vet he will get the peace he needs - a forced procedure will be very traumatic. See what you can do to help him keep Charlie comfortable and be supportive as best you can.

I lost Lobo this year - 14 years and 45 days. He outlived his body. He was on Tramadol and Metacam consistently for the last couple of months before he died. We did that so that he would be comfortable and to also wait until after the holidays for us as he had surprised us so many times before and gotten better. But he didn't this time. We had his personal vet come to the house and he passed in our home. I could tell Lobo knew he was not waking up. But he really didn't have the strength to physically fight so he fought the medication as much as he could that was relaxing him at first. Our doctor was very patient and careful with him through the whole process.

Will be keeping your brother, Charlie and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

EDIT - funny how I write these things while others are posting and then I get more information! So he has talked to his vet, but his vet is out of town and he sounds angry with her? Can he get a mobile vet to come to the house instead so Charlie dies at home and not a hospital?

[Wolfmother]

I was going to stop by his house last night, but he was not in any frame of mind to listen. I will try to stop by after work tonight and see Charlie for myself. Maybe after some time to calm down, he will do the right thing and I will be there to go with him to take care of what needs to be done. If his wife says anything to him, he just yells at her and says she doesn't care about Charlie and just doesn't want to deal with it. He is one of those people that you can't rationalize with. He has to come to the decision on his own. Since people have told him that he needs to do this, he is even more determined to NOT do it. I just hope with some more time to think about it, he will do the right thing.

[Wolfmother]

The one vet (who is actually my vet) is a mobile vet. She doesn't have availability until today but he has to work so he can't do it today. Now he just wants to wait until after New Years. She told him it would be the kinder thing to do to go someplace that can fit him in sooner as he isn't in good shape. That is when he got mad and hung up on them.

Unfortunately, he won't even consider the thought of a vet he has never met do this.

Charlie has started crying a little from what I understand, but hopefully the Tramadol will give him some relief. It isn't constant crying though.

I am very sorry to hear about Lobo. It sounds like he was very lucky to have you (and you to have him).

[Jax08]

Maybe instead of trying to get him to listen to you, you should listen to him. It sounds like he is very distraught and continuing to push him into "doing the right" thing apparently is only making the situation worse.

[Wolfmother]

That is what I am doing. In fact, I am the only one that is "listening" to him. I have never once said that he should do it as I didn't like people doing that to me when I had a sick dog. I needed to make the decision on my own. The difference is, when I saw my dog suffering, I actually made the decision. That is the frustrating part. I just hope he comes to his senses. I actually have given everyone the advice to not push him.

[StGeorgeK9]

I'm sitting here reading this with tears in my eyes.......... I am so sorry, for you, for your brother and your brothers wife. How sad, I'm not sure I wouldnt sit next to poor Charlie and cry with him. I'm sure you have. Obviously you brother is very attached to Charlie and probably feels like doing this is giving up on Charlie or taking the easy way out. I have had to put down my best friends before, and will have to do it again someday, it is devastating and heartbreaking, and I always felt somehow I had let my best friend down. But Charlie needs your brothers help, and it sounds like this is the best way to help him. Until he gets there, I think you should give your brother a hug and tell him you love him.