How to tell 3 year old?

[Jennifer McClellan]

Michael and I had to have our dog Buddy put down a couple of months ago after he stopped eating and could no longer hold his bladder or walk. He was 12 years old. He lived at Michael's parents because we were not living together when we first got him and he was more comfortable there when we got married. Our son is at their home 2 days a week while we work and when it is warm out he goes down with Grandma to feed Buddy. He asked the other day if it was warm enough out yet and I realized that we totally forgot to tell him that Buddy had died. How do we tell a child so young?

[angelaw]

I wouldn't really bring it up unless he notices and asks. If he does, Buddy was really sick and went to play in doggie heaven.

[bethandglen]

It's so hard when they are young like that. I agree with Angela if he doesn't bring it up don't volunteer the info, but if he does say he went to heaven and is now fine and well and happy and playing. I've lost two babies to miscarriage and my daughter asked questions and that's what we told her. Rather than upsetting her it comforted her to know she has two siblings up in heaven watching over her. I don't believe in lying to children as I think it just makes it worse later on. I can't tell you how many times as a child I was told a pet "went for a ride to the country"! I remember thinking WHY would my dad take my pet for a ride and never bring them back???? The truth, even when it's hard, is always the best I think.

Good luck and I hope he doesn't take it too badly!

Beth

[lupina]

There's a great children's bookstore in Kansas City, "The Reading Reptile Room." They have a wonderful selection of books which deals with the topic of death...When my nieces lost the grandmother whom they lived with I found reading to them opened a great opportunity to discuss and have them bring up questions as simple as 'does she get cold in heaven, what if she's thirsty.'

I'd check out your local library and see what they have avl.

CJ: you don't mention the age of your son. I agree w/Beth that to say Buddy went to live on a farm in the country doesn't help. My parent's did that to me at age 5 when the family cat was hit by a car and killed.

[lupina]

Originally Posted By: lupaThere's a great children's bookstore in Kansas City, "The Reading Reptile Room." They have a wonderful selection of books which deals with the topic of death...When my nieces lost the grandmother whom they lived with I found reading to them opened a great opportunity to discuss and have them bring up questions as simple as 'does she get cold in heaven, what if she's thirsty.'

I'd check out your local library and see what they have avl.

CJ: you don't mention the age of your son. I agree w/Beth that to say Buddy went to live on a farm in the country doesn't help. My parent's did that to me at age 5 when the family cat was hit by a car and killed.

CJ: I missed the subject line where you mention your son is 3. My nieces were 3,5, and 7 when their grandmother died. I have cousins who were 3 when their brother died. Sometimes I think these topics are more painful for us because we feel the loss so deeply.

Does your son like to be read to? I'm really in favor of your checking out book titles. There was one I found which was about a willow tree, how it shaded a pond, and was a friend to all the animals who lived in it, or took shelter under the shade of the branches, how it got sick and was no longer strong enough to stand and give shelter, etc.