In your lowest moment, when your best friend is...

[flyinghayden]

About to pass on, did you ever wish you could trade places with them?? Coming up on the 2 year mark since losing Maxie, it is still hard to talk, or think about our last hours together. It was, and will probably always be the single most overwhelmingly, overpowering experience of my life. As I sat with her on that cold concrete floor, feeling her fading away, as I awaited the arrival of my family, I whispered to her that I wished I could trade places with her. Would I have done it, sacrificed my own life if it would have saved hers?? To this day, I would have done it in a second. Most everyday people would not understand what I am talking about, but I know some of the board members have suffered a crippling loss over the past year, and would know what I am talking about. Only my family, and a couple friends knew what I was going through, and the support I got from them was amazing. I is hard, even for, to comprehend that some dogs will become our siamese twin, and when they leave us, they tear a hole in us that is so hard to heal. I was really suprised because my mother and my sister asked me about this, when I thought it was a secret thought, and when I said yes I would have, they both said they understood. It would be interesting to hear some opinions of this, as I know some people have just lost their dogs, and some are about to.

[doggonefool]

We lost Whimsey July 7, 2008. She went from a cocky attitude fun loving white GSD/Wolf into full blown kidney failure before we even knew that she was sick. She was only 4 and could no longer jump on the picnic table or chase Ranger. Within a week of diagnosis, I was giving fluids intravenously, feeding her green tripe or rotisserie chicken or whatever I could get her to eat to keep up her strength. And she was suffering and I would have traded places with her in a heartbeat. She was so young and it is always too soon when we have to say goodbye. Now she's gone, and I miss her so much sometimes, I can still feel her breath on my cheek and smell her fursmell, my little wolfgirl. I held her in my arms on that cold steel table, cause I couldn't get down on the floor, and watched the life drain from her eyes - yes I would have traded places.

[lucymom]

Yes indeedy, I know how you feel. I lost my beloved soul mate, Lucy my black GSD, to hemangiosarcoma on Christmas. She was bleeding out and I had some time with her before the vet came in, but she was very weak. She lived with cancer with great relish and I would have done anything to take on that fight for her.

When Lucy and I looked in each other's eyes each day, all was right with the world. Now....the world seems very empty to me.

I wanted to go WITH her...to be where she was going. We could never bear to be apart and I worry about...wherever she is without me. It's like part of me went with her.

I LOVE my other dog, Aik but he'd go home with the mailman. Luc was my girl, and mine only.

The pain is nearly unbearable, the void is so huge we can fall in deeply. I'm so sorry that it's still so powerful after two years, but I believe I'll be in your shoes too.

They are so beautiful, innocent, brave and giving...the loss is like nothing else

I like your reference to "siamese twin. " Yes, I believe that our soul can become woven with those of our special dogs. I called Lucy "mini me" and people noticed that our personalities were very similar. We could read each other with just a look.

How do we bear losing the one soul who may understand and accept and need us more than any other we ever know?

I don't know. I just know that maybe now I'm not afraid of dying, if it gets me where my other half is, forever.

I have found great comfort and understanding on an online dog loss support group--they understand all the depth of the loss and you'll never hear "it was just a dog."

Courage and peace to you and your pack,

Jennifer

[lucymom]

Whimsy is beautiful! I too, fed tripe--the ULTIMATE expression of love as I hate meat and tripe is just...foul. when that stopped working...rotisserie chicken. Lucy's appetite changed during chemo and I was always trying new things.

We know we are signing up for heartbreak when we bring our dogs home... but even this awful grief is worth the amazing gift of having had them.

Jennifer

[GunnersMom]

Time doesn't heal all wounds, does it?
It's been a year and a half since I lost my Golden, Cooper, and it still feels like it was yesterday. Every one of my dogs has been special in their own way and every loss has hurt terribly, but none like Cooper. He was my first Golden and I can't even begin to describe him. He was just special.

His loss was very sudden and my mind was all over the place, so I still don't remember exactly what was or wasn't going through my head at the time. I don't know if I thought of it in those exact terms - that I'd trade places with him right then and there - but I do remember wondering where this "devil" is that people always talk about. I remember thinking that I'd deal. And I would have. I would have sold my soul, at that point, to save him.

I remember talking to mom later that night, after Coop was gone, and telling her that there are exactly two people on this earth who I wouldn't have preferred to see in his place - her and my dad. That's it. She felt the same way, so she understood. That's generally not something I say to many people. I can do without the horrified looks from people who just don't understand.

Originally Posted By: JenniferDWe know we are signing up for heartbreak when we bring our dogs home... but even this awful grief is worth the amazing gift of having had them.

So true. It's the price we pay for having that connection and that love.
This was Cooper - aka Poohbear. Our last Christmas together.

[JakesDogs]

I know, Richard. I know.

[Brightelf]

But Richard, you DID trade places with her. She was suffering and sick at the time. You took all of the suffering and heartsick feelings upon yourself when you released her to peace. You gave her what YOU had-- freedom from pain.. and you took on what SHE had. You carry the painful but tender loving moments on that concrete floor with her forever. You exchanged, for her, peace for suffering. She got the peace end of the deal, and you took the suffering upon yourself.

Look at how many owners delay letting a dog go, watching the dog suffer horribly, because they are terrified of making such a painful exchange... even knowing that their best furry friend gets peace, freedom, and comfort out of the deal. Your special Maxie knows what you did for her!

[Qyn]

Patti that is a beautiful way to see it. Thank you for writing that piece.

My girl, Cisco, was always meant to live forever and she helped me through the passing of both my parents and helped my mother also during that time. My mum encouraged Cisco up onto the bed with her and that had never happened before with any previous dog - my mum called Cisco her first grandchild.

So, yes Richard, I do know what you mean and how you felt and still feel. It is a difficult and yet wonderful occasion when our canine family holds such a significant part of our being.

[lucymom]

Beautifully said Patti. And yes, some dogs have that something extra special that connects with something deep within us. Oh, how I ache for my girl.

My best to all who are grieving.

[daniella5574]

I have to echo what the others said, that was beautiful Patti. Remembering my heart dog Titan, and those final minutes with him, this was all I could do not to bawl my eyes out.