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Old 12-03-2012, 05:01 PM   #31 (permalink)
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Oh, and, welcome to the site. Even if you let this girl go, stick around. There is a lot of great information on the site for dog lovers, as well as a lot of people that have similar experiences with dogs, dog training, dog-interactions, dogs and kids, dogs and significant others, rescues, breeders, and so forth.
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Old 12-03-2012, 05:28 PM   #32 (permalink)
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Thank you selzer and wolfy dog. I appreciate your being candid with me. Selzer, I have actually printed up what you typed, and I'm going to show this to my husband when I get home, as well as a list of Shepherd rescues for him to call. I'm already sad because I do like her. He is a upset with me because he thinks it will all get better, but what if it doesn't? He's now calling the previous owners again. And now my son just called me upset because he's worried that Heidi will get put down, and I said we are going to give her to someone that won't do that (I would hope). I cry already just thinking about her being gone, they sure do become a part of our lives quickly, don't they. This has been a rough 2 weeks.

Thank you everyone for listening and responding. I appreciate all the comments.
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Old 12-03-2012, 05:36 PM   #33 (permalink)
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Tell your son that Heidi needs a male dog friend and that she cannot live with female dogs or she will hurt Sacha.I am sure Heidi will not be put down because it is an issue between female dogs (the middle school girls syndrome).
I am a teacher and know that the way you approach it, will mirror your son's responses. Try not to involve your son in the decisions or he will feel guilty about it.
I went through this situation a few times until I know what I know now. Sending you good thoughts.
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Old 12-03-2012, 05:43 PM   #34 (permalink)
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I explained to him that we need to do this for Sasha, and that exactly what was said below, Heidi is a great dog, she is just not a fit for our family. He was fine with that, although we were both crying a little. My husband and I feel like failures. I was looking online at rescues and many say they don't take surrendered animals.

Oh and the woman we got the dog from said this isn't a store, you can't just take her back because you don't like her. My husband was super super pi@@ed. This has been a hard lesson for us and a long two weeks.
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Old 12-03-2012, 06:04 PM   #35 (permalink)
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I am sorry the person you got her from is a zero. That's sad. Someone had this dog for 9 months, and then someone else comes in and send her off with the first person willing to take her.

Evenso, she is young, and if a rescue understands she needs to go to a home with no other dogs, or no other female dogs, then that is your best bet. A rescue will also ensure that she gets spayed prior to adopting her out (if it is a good rescue) and will keep the information you give them so that the next home has a chance at being successful with her.

You are not failures. SSA is something you can't possibly know will be a problem going into it. Oh, if you are spending half your life on internet dog-sites you would probably have run into it. It is not uncommon. But most people really haven't had to deal with it.

Some rescues will not take owner-turn-ins. Which makes it really hard. When you call the rescues, get the persons name, call them by name, explain that you have had the puppy for two weeks, and that there have been four fights. Explain that the previous owner re-homed the pup because it was an extended family member's dog who became to ill to care for her. Explain that you contacted this person and they will not take the dog back. Tell them that you have a small child and you are afraid for his safety as well, since the fighting is really dangerous.

They may tell you that you need to surrender the dog to a shelter, and they will pull the dog from the shelter. I hope you find one that will take the dog and foster her though without having her go through a shelter to get into the rescue. It is just that many more chances for the pup to get ill, or possibly be put down.

Remember that strays have a number of days in a shelter before euth, an owner turn-in can be euth'd the same day. So if at all possible try to get a rescue to take the puppy without having the pup go into a shelter.

I wish I had the room here to help you out with her, but I don't.

Good luck.
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Last edited by selzer; 12-03-2012 at 06:07 PM.
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Old 12-03-2012, 07:08 PM   #36 (permalink)
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I wanted to say it also: There is no shame in re-homing a dog if that dog has proven a danger to members of the family, and that includes other pets.

It's a tough situation all the way around, but I personally wouldn't want to live with two bitches that fight. Been there, done that whole crate and rotate thing, and it's just not how I want life to be in my household. Too much stress and everyone has to be on guard, all the time. The risk of another fight where your son gets in the way and winds up with stitches, is a risk I wouldn't feel comfortable taking--and I wouldn't want my older dog, the one that was there first, to get hurt either. Especially if she's just now gotten over her fearfulness.

It is good that you have Heidi spayed, whether you end up keeping her or not. Otherwise she could end up with a backyard breeder as a puppy making machine.

If you do place Heidi, and still want to get another dog, go with a male, and go through either a reputable breeder or a reputable rescue--not a craigslist or newspaper ad. That way you have some support if things don't work out.
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Old 12-03-2012, 08:53 PM   #37 (permalink)
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Quote:
My husband and I feel like failures.
No, you are not, and you did learn a very important lesson. If you take that lesson to heart, you failed nothing.
Some dogs just are not good fits - by themselves they are awesome but when placed in certain situations, they don't do well and everyone is miserable.
Unfortunately that's what happened here.
But you can move on and you've learned that another female will not work in your home.

Just a note on that, too - it probably isn't all Heidi although Heidi was the better fighter or got more licks in, quite possibly Sasha can't live with another girl.
I'd advise either no more dogs while you have Sasha, or a male, and if you go with a male, I'd urge you to check in here to learn how to do proper intros and get acquainted/settling in procedures
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Old 12-03-2012, 08:58 PM   #38 (permalink)
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Sometimes it takes more courage to do the right thing for all concerned than to try to force something to work. THAT is not failing. You and your husband are not a failures.
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Old 12-04-2012, 10:45 AM   #39 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jax08 View Post
Sometimes it takes more courage to do the right thing for all concerned than to try to force something to work. THAT is not failing. You and your husband are not a failures.
THIS ...

You didn't fail ... it's not your fault, or your husband's fault ... it's no one's fault ... it just is. And that plain out sucks and I'm really sorry for what you are going through.
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Old 12-04-2012, 12:31 PM   #40 (permalink)
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Thank you everyone. I wouldn't blame anyone if they judged me, I always did when I knew someone who gave an animal away. That's why we've always adopted from shelters or rescues (it's why we have 4 cats and 1 dog), because there are so many animals that need homes. Last night my son and husband diffused another situation when Heidi started to go after Sasha again. Over my husband yet again. Heidi has really grown attached to him, she follows him around. If she can't find him, then she will follow me around as well. He made them sit together and he sent me a picture that he says they could be friends, but Sasha looks absolutely terrified in it.

My husband still would like a second dog, but that's a ways off. We have to wait for Sasha to stop hiding and feel comfortable and safe in the house again. If we did, we would definitely get a male, and probably younger, possibly puppy-ish. Sasha seemed so excited at first to have Heidi and then it just went all downhill from there....
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