|08-28-2014 08:42 PM|
|08-28-2014 08:17 PM|
'Course having a good sense of humor helps too!
|08-28-2014 08:13 PM|
Soooooo not true...poopyhead.
|08-28-2014 08:07 PM|
Good post Girl_Loves_Hydraulics.
The problem arises when opinions clash with reality. Such as one we see crop up here about the use of prongs or ecollars, people who use them are automatically painted as being cruel to their dogs. Sweeping ad hominem attacks should be challenged as they create and foster disinformation.
We also see it here when people come on board wanting to breed their young dogs who have not had any testing for health reasons.
There are some opinions which should not be validated because they are wrong and in some cases unfair or dangerous for the dogs in question.
We've had some people huff off here when told they shouldn't breed their untested pets but it's the price of sticking up for what we know is right.
I also think a healthy debate on other topics where there is a grey area is good. The problem is people become invested in being right at all costs and resort to personal attacks when the other person makes a better argument, supported by objective facts and logic.
On the internet and IRL I've found how well you defend your point of view often the angrier the person you are debating becomes. Usually the first one to lay down a personal attack has lost.
This however causes friction and can carry over with bad feelings. The thing is the same person that wrote something I disagreed with today could write something a week later I agree completely and I will say so.
Most people just don't know how to debate and put it in the context of one debate, on one issue without trying paint the entire person with whom they disagree as a "bad person"
There are a couple of people here who you can have a good back and forth with and leave as friends. Blanket Back, Dani Fani, Sue Selzer, Lillie to name a few.
Really that's a sign of a vibrant community when we can give credit when someone makes a good point, if someone shows our opinion doesn't hold up under scrutiny (trust me that's happened to me a lot learning about this complex breed of GSDs). It doesn't have to become a grudge to be held forever.
I had to apologize recently in a thread where I misunderstood what the OP was saying. I don't think misunderstanding is wrong, happens to all of us from time to time, to accept ones mistake and admitting it and or apologizing is a choice.
It's also a choice to keep each issues discussed about the issue, not the persons involved personality, character and worthiness of fair treatment.
Good topic. Thank you for starting it.
|08-28-2014 04:57 PM|
I just want to say I really appreciate all the different aspects and insight that were offered. Just to clarify, I am not a total attention hog (well, not today that is), but I was just confused on the dynamics of it all. I think one of the biggest gripes I see from a good portion of you is the same gripe I have in person with people. No one is the final authority on the choices/path that another makes or takes. I'm sure we all want to think that our opinion is the only opinion and darn it if you don't take it you're stupid, but things are never that cut and dry. I've been dealing with interpersonal communications for years and there are some things I feel people should always do in any interactions with others:
1) It is okay to disagree! That is why the world is so incredible, because it is diverse and unique and beautiful. There is a WAY to disagree though. Shoving anything down anyone's throat and being overly aggressive is going to give people a bad vibe even if you are 100% correct. Just note this is a different day and age where your words are now permanently etched on the internet. So think of this when disagreeing, because you are possibly ending future relationships before they even begin. Obviously, if you are a recluse, this does not apply
2) Validation and acceptance! Though I know there are those that say they do not care about these things, that is not entirely true. As a living human being, this is a part of who we are. Acceptance is another form of survival. If you can be accepted within a group, your chances of survival raise. Obviously, that is not really how it is utilized now, but that is why it is there. You don't have to AGREE with someone to value their opinion or accept it. Tact is definitely a lost art, and one that needs to be revitalized ASAP. I disagree with customers all the time on multiple things, but I don't allow that to alienate a person or destroy a foundation for a relationship.
OK, I am done now as I am a salesperson at heart, so take EVERYTHING I say with a grain of salt. I am not always right, I am never perfect, and I love being that way. Speaking of sales, anyone need a hydraulic motor for their fishing boat? LOL jk
|08-28-2014 01:35 PM|
Yup. Sadly too, I agree.
|08-28-2014 01:32 PM|
|08-28-2014 01:27 PM|
Life is short. You never know what kind of curve ball will be thrown your way. Look at Lee and her terrible car accident for example. Puts things in perspective.
It is far more difficult, but far more rewarding IMO to give the benefit of the doubt, seek to understand and not hold grudges over what often are minor disagreements and misunderstandings. Apologizing and/or letting go is the better way.
It almost seems boring to be that way now a days as it's not very exciting compared to a knock down drag out fight...I guess. Those threads tend to get a lot more views and responses too.
|08-28-2014 01:24 PM|
|08-28-2014 01:06 PM|
Building off of what LoveEcho said about pet homes vs sport homes and combative nature...
Doesn't much have to do with the pet home/non competing thing... it has to do with interest, perception/willingness to learn, and attitude. I'm somewhere in between a pet home and sport home I think? And I've made a ton of awesome sport and pet home friends... once I stopped being a combative, annoying tool.
I've also met a few people here in real life, was engaged to one of them, know a ton on facebook, text some regularly, compete with some, will be borrowing one's dog... It takes time to form the friendships, but they're so worth it. And we aren't cliquey as long as you don't get on Jax's bad side.
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