|07-19-2014 01:51 AM|
Heres my birds.
My mom had me at 16. She is irresponsible and immature and lazy. I love her, but in terms of my upbringing, I learned what not to do from her. I spent the majority of my time at my grandparents house anyway, when we weren't all living under the same roof, which was the vast majority of my life growing up.
My biological father is a loser who was not in my life until I contacted him because I needed answers, which I've still not gotten because he landed himself in prison for sexual assault on a minor. Yeah, real winner that one.
My step dad was the only dad I knew growing up and much as I loved him, he was a pushover who allowed my mother to walk all over him. Both he and my mom are immature and irresponsible. I haven't spoken to my step dad more than 3 times since my mom divorced him two years ago. Not my doing. His. He knows I'm angry about a lot of things he and mom pulled while I was growing up but he's not mature enough to actually talk to me about them.
Here's where it gets fun. I was 18 when my first baby brother was born. Until that point, I was an only child. Not something you want to hear when you're already stressing about how to pay for college because your parents credit history is so horrible nobody will give you a student loan. I married my boyfriend, now husband when I was 19. My second baby brother was born when I was 20. My daughter was born 6 months after my second baby brother was born. My baby sister was born when I was 22. My son was born 5 months after my baby sister was born. There is an 18 year gap between my first baby brother and I, a 20 year gap between my second baby brother and I and a 22 year gap between my baby sister and I.
My children and my baby brothers and sister all fall VERY close in age.
I do not like other peoples children. I just don't. They get on my nerves and I lack patience. I love my kids with all my heart but there's not a chance I'd have a 3rd child. 2 is my limit both physically and personally. I would move mountains for my kids. You don't have to like other peoples kids to love your own. There's no rule on it just like there's no rule saying you automatically have to have kids.
You have kids because you wants kids. Not because someone pressured you into it. It's your body that has to go through everything that comes with being pregnant. It's likely you who has to be there the majority of the time. Mom's don't get time off. There's no vacations. We're on 24/7/365.
Yes, I'm a selfish person because I demand my space and get downright mean if I'm not able to get it but my husband respects that I need a break and he'll take the kids to the park or send me out to do something on my own. I'm also selfless because my kids are my world and no matter how frustrated I am with not getting a break away from constant questions or the "mommy.mom mom mom" routine, I'm still there for hugs and cuddling on the couch watching a movie times.
We've had animals since before we had kids and we have animals now. It's extra work but not impossible and you do develop a routine. It all depends on you.
My husband's parents were older when they had kids. He lost his mom right before he left for a deployment in 2012. She was in her mid 60s. He loves his parents to no end but he also doesn't agree with them being older when they had kids because a lot of the stuff they were able to do, they were able to do only because there was the option to take a break or take a nap. His dad is still alive and active but he is slowing down. I'm 27, my husband is 28. His dad is late 50s.
There's always 2 sides to every coin. My parents were young, his parents were older. It all depends on YOU and what will work for you.
|07-18-2014 11:34 PM|
And europe! Whaaa lol I wish!
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|07-18-2014 11:11 PM|
|07-18-2014 10:38 PM|
Everyone's perspective actually...
|07-18-2014 10:28 PM|
|07-18-2014 10:16 PM|
|katieliz||well you and me will vie for that prize, shepmom...i am unbelievably all about me, lolol...always have been, always will be. because my old mom was constantly telling me how i was all that. age has softened me a little, and made me a bit more aware that there are other people who matter in the world, lolol...|
|07-18-2014 10:09 PM|
|07-18-2014 10:06 PM|
|07-18-2014 10:02 PM|
|shepherdmom||I shared a very personal story with Zeeva of growing up an only child with older parents. This is what happened to me. This is what it was like for me! It had nothing to do with you it was not about you. Someone, maybe you, asked me point blank what I thought was too old. I said that 35 was my own personal cut off. Again this is not about you but comes from my own experiences growing up. I'm sorry you don't like my opinion, but it is what it is.|
|07-18-2014 10:00 PM|
shepmom...i do take exception to the statement "the kid's perspective" and think it should be "a kid's perspective". because the experiences are going to be as different as there are kids and parents. i'm one of those kids of an old mother and found it to be a great advantage. and i surely have no health issues which stem from my mom's age when she had me. i personally see lots of advantages and never once experienced a negative from being an only child, late in life baby.
but, as i said earlier in the thread, having a much younger, handsome, very charming father brought with it a whole other set of issues, lol...
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