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Thread: Grudges Reply to Thread
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Topic Review (Newest First)
06-30-2014 04:05 PM
Cassidy's Mom
Quote:
Originally Posted by jafo220 View Post
Some can't help themselves being first rate jerks. Some people like to belittle others. It's how they are and what ever you reply back won't make a difference with that sometimes.
So true. If there are any people that are consistently responding to you in that way you can put them on ignore so you won't see their posts. Separate yourself from their negativity.
06-30-2014 04:03 PM
Cassidy's Mom
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zeeva View Post
Done it a couple times...rereading the reply is what makes me feel so silly...
Then stop that. If it was that long ago, I'd guess the thread has been inactive for some time, so it should be easy to ignore if you decide that's what you want to do. Leave the old threads in the past.
06-30-2014 03:22 PM
Galathiel Sometimes I think people are very thin skinned and quick to take offense, even if none were intended (sometimes it may be intended, who knows). I include myself in that category, don't worry. However, I have a flash temper and then it's over. I try not to brood. I think it's normal to remember that someone hurt you, but you really can't let it fester. That just hurts you, not them. If you (general you, not anyone in particular) aren't going to say something about it at the time, then you really need to let it go. Chances are you are remembering something for months that everyone else has already forgotten, blowing it up into something big when in the whole scheme of things it really isn't.
06-30-2014 11:45 AM
jafo220
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zeeva View Post
Do you hold grudges? If you do, how do you deal with it? Avoidance?Confrontation? Meditation? Distraction?

I've tried most of it, except for the 'confrontation' part.

It's been several months since someone posted something 'mean'(?) in one of my threads and I want to reply to it, but it feels so childish and disgraceful. But I can't shake it either...

So what should I do? Literally it's been like 5 months. Will I ever let go...?
Some can't help themselves being first rate jerks. Some people like to belittle others. It's how they are and what ever you reply back won't make a difference with that sometimes.

With grudges, it all depends on how you hold a grudge. Does it eat you up inside and cause you to treat others in an unpleasant way? If that's the case, the only way to handle that is to let it go. It's tough but you have to or it will consume you. Look at it like this. When you hold a grudge this way, they hold the power over your personal life. End it by letting go and ignore that person as if they do not exist. Get your mind trained this way by getting your mind on something more important then them. Step around around them. If they pursue, report them.

If you can hold a grudge inside and not let it consume you, nothing wrong with that. Just lie in wait until an opportune time to get the upper hand and prepare for the opportunity.

The other way is the best. Letting it go so they don't hold your thoughts hostage is the best.

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06-30-2014 11:30 AM
misslesleedavis1 Move on. It is a forum Girl! continue on and let it go
06-30-2014 10:44 AM
Blanketback I've only ever used the confrontational approach, so I think this is why I don't hold grudges, lol. If something is so bad that I have no choice but to deal with it, then I do. And if something isn't worth getting upset about, then I forget about it.

But that's what I do IRL. These boards aren't the same, because you have no idea what the other person even means! You don't know anything about them, what they're going through, how they feel...it would be nice if nobody ever posted anything to hurt you, but I think it's more realistic to treat an unkind reply like you would treat someone honking their horn at you: just some random noise.
06-30-2014 09:57 AM
Sarah~ Depends on what they did... Usually unless someone has really wronged me or been extremely rude I let things go. But a lot of little things for me add up to a big thing and I would probably just cut off all ties with that person. I try to live by the golden rule like my grandpa taught me! Especially over the internet where the other person knows nothing about me except what I've told them, I just ignore it unless it REALLY eats at me and if after a day or so it's still on my mind I will go ahead and say it. Almost always it's not really worth it. This is just my opinion and you can do what you like obviously, but after 5 months it would not be worth it to me. I would just write that person off as ignorant and forget all about them People only have as much power as you give them, don't let negative people bring you down! You seem like such a sweet person, your posts are always very nice

I have to say though, sometimes posts I have read have just completely floored me, like does this person really talk to people this way? Especially posters who seem incredibly bitter or sarcastic or arrogant in everything they reply to. I can't imagine they have many friends acting like that, and it makes me feel bad for them.
06-30-2014 08:14 AM
Twyla
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zeeva View Post

It's been several months since someone posted something 'mean'(?) in one of my threads and I want to reply to it, but it feels so childish and disgraceful. But I can't shake it either...

So what should I do? Literally it's been like 5 months. Will I ever let go...?
Decide how valuable your time is. Do you want to waste time and energy on someone that has been mean or use that time working towards the goals you have set for yourself?
06-30-2014 07:07 AM
TommyB681 To certain things Ill hold a grudge(kind of an internal "I wont forget that") but I try not to let it affect how I deal with that person, espcially at work. I try to be an "Owell its done and over with" kind of guy. Not always easy
06-30-2014 04:02 AM
lalachka
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zeeva View Post
Done it a couple times...rereading the reply is what makes me feel so silly...

Lol I totally get it))))) soo many times I know I should ****pseudo swearing removed by MOD*** but I can't. I tried typing it up and deleting, some I ended up not posting but most made it through)))))
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