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Thread: To rescue or get my replacement pup? Reply to Thread
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Topic Review (Newest First)
Today 12:23 PM
Msmaria Can you both see the replacement puppy before you decide and/ or pick one out together. That way it feels like you both have a part.

Update: ah read your going the rescue route. Glad you found something that works. Can't wait to see the addition when you find him or her. Good luck.
Today 10:54 AM
wyoung2153 That is a really great idea, I didn't really think about fostering to adopt. Do they match foster houses to dogs too? Like based on temperament and living situation and activity level or is fostering more of a "we have a dog, can you watch him for a while?"

Now what are your opinoins on a non breed specific rescue?
Today 10:51 AM
Magwart
Quote:
Originally Posted by wyoung2153 View Post
I feel really good about this and about getting an older dog

We aren't rushing and we are def taking out time picking the perfect one.. wish us luck!!
If you are open to fostering, it's an awesome opportunity to "test drive" a dog in your life in your quest for the "perfect" one -- and every rescue I know is desperate for good fosters (esp some willing to take older dogs). If it's not your perfect match, you keep it long enough to get it a great home, and send it on its way with good wishes for a happy future, knowing you saved a life....and then move on to the next one. When the right one lands, you can be sure it really is the right one!
Yesterday 10:48 AM
wyoung2153 Soooo we pretty much decided until we are in the right place to have Boerboel.. time and location wise, we are going to delay that a couple years. That was a big issue with my first one is the time factor and being that my job is still the same and that breed requires a lot of time and patience in training.. we are going to wait.

We have begun looking at rescues around here and shelters.. even browsed craiglist a couple times just to see if any one stuck out to me. I feel really good about this and about getting an older dog, we're looking at at least 2, but won't limit our options if I puppy needs rescuing and fits our home perfectly. I am getting excited now. We aren't rushing and we are def taking out time picking the perfect one.. wish us luck!!
06-18-2014 09:02 PM
selzer I'm not married, so I am no help at all.

But, if my husband had a dog worth $2500 that was paid up, and he decided to go to shelters to look for a rescue because he thought that was what I wanted, I'd probably kick him. (Good thing I am not married.)

If I was afraid that he was not ready to repeat that particular breed experience, we would discuss it.

If I hated the breed of dog that he had bought and paid for/replacement, or thought it really wasn't a match, and did not want that dog, I think I would bite the bullet and say so.

I guess the point is, and guys actually outshine us women on this, let him take care of his own feelings. Believe what he said. He doesn't mind if you want the dog you have coming, or if you go to a rescue. He is leaving it up to you to make the decision.

I think it is we women who fail to communicate our wants and needs and expect men to take our "whatever you want, dear"s as "you had better pick what you know I want." Guys are a different breed for the most part. If they say "you choose", go ahead and choose. Choose what you believe is best for your situation, but choose. And if he really was being girly and expecting you to figure out what he really wanted, then he won't do that again, and next time, he will communicate with you whether or not he cares about something.

People are dog people or are not dog people. If he is a dog-person (and it sounds like he is), then he cannot live with a dog and not come to care for it. If he is not a dog-person, no amount of including him in the choice, work, accomplishments, will make him care for the dog any more than he would if you made the choice on your own, did the work on your own, etc.
06-18-2014 05:16 PM
Liesje My husband has never helped me pick my dogs and I pretty much picked "our" dog as well (showed him a PetFinder link and he agreed with my choice). I usually show him the choices I've narrowed down and run a list of possible names by him, but he doesn't care and has never really given me any valuable input other than disliking a few names. I know maybe most couples are not like this, but some are and it's not a bad thing if one person is a lot less invested, or would be happy with what the other chooses.
06-17-2014 03:25 PM
wyoung2153
Quote:
Originally Posted by sit,stay View Post
OP, I am so hazy on the details of your Boerboel experience, so please excuse me if I get this entirely wrong! Wasn't there drama with the breeder after you returned the puppy? She had promised she would keep or rehome the puppy and then euthanized it? Or said she would euthanize and ended up selling the puppy to to someone else? I can't remember the details, but I recall you were less than happy with the breeder at the time. Again, I apologize if I am remembering incorrectly.

I would really caution against getting a puppy just because you have the money invested and don't want to waste it. I feel even more strongly about this if there were lingering questions about the breeder. I am totally speaking from personal experience here! Sometimes we have to chalk it up to an expensive lesson, cut our losses and move on.

Look at the individual dog in front of you. Labs and Goldens aren't necessarily less energetic than a GSD. I can think of a whole lot of dogs of those breeds who are way more active. Don't generalize!

Good luck making the decision that is right for you!
Sheilah
Quote:
Originally Posted by osito23 View Post
I don't know anything about what happened with the Boerboel in the past, but that breed is nothing like labs/goldens. What do you both want in a dog? Is this going to be his dog or yours? The fact that he is sending you links with available dogs shows that he's interested. Especially if he isn't a dog person, I wouldn't expect him to really understand the difference between the friendly, happy-go-lucky lab/golden and a guardian breed. It would be hard to walk away from $2500, but I think it is more important to get the right breed/dog.
Thank you both for the response. Just in short-I had a BB I sent her back for temp issues and she was PTS. If you are interested in more details, please PM me, but I don't think it's fair publicly display that situation.. there was a lot of misunderstanding, confusion, emotions, etc. that just made that a really awful experience for the both of us (myself and breeder).

I do understand that BBs and labs are not the same at all! I have had labs as well and know their temperament. I think he really just wants a family dog that we don't have to worry about temperament wise and is easily transitionable. Guardian isn't needed for this one, just a happy dog that wants to be loved on and played with from time to time

Quote:
Originally Posted by Liesje View Post
I don't get why you wouldn't get the replacement puppy? If you like that breed and it's a good fit and the breeder is offering a replacement....what's the issue? Usually when my husband says he "doesn't care" he really doesn't. At least in our relationship, we don't play games where we say we don't care but we do, so if he said that then it wouldn't be fair to change his mind later on and insist on another breed.
Because I am not sure, for starters, if a BB would fit in our lifestyle right now. I LOVE the breed and want one when it is right, I jsut have to decide when that time is. He is not playing games. He just wants me to be happy, because he knows I'm the "dog" person and that in the end, breed, training, etc, is more my thing. He wouldn't be mad if we went with the breeder, but I do think there's something to say about going and picking out a puppy together and truly making it "our" decision. If that makes sense.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ellimaybel View Post
It sounds like he might be liking the idea of not just picking out a dog with you but also of rescuing one that might otherwise not get a second chance.
I know that he isn't big on paying for a dog from a breeder unless it's for a purpose so I think that's why the rescuing is so appealing to him too. In my gut I truly think he just wants to be a part of the decision. So I am trying to make sure I don't just go with what I want and expect him to be ok with it.
06-17-2014 02:04 PM
osito23 I don't know anything about what happened with the Boerboel in the past, but that breed is nothing like labs/goldens. What do you both want in a dog? Is this going to be his dog or yours? The fact that he is sending you links with available dogs shows that he's interested. Especially if he isn't a dog person, I wouldn't expect him to really understand the difference between the friendly, happy-go-lucky lab/golden and a guardian breed. It would be hard to walk away from $2500, but I think it is more important to get the right breed/dog.
06-17-2014 01:41 PM
sit,stay OP, I am so hazy on the details of your Boerboel experience, so please excuse me if I get this entirely wrong! Wasn't there drama with the breeder after you returned the puppy? She had promised she would keep or rehome the puppy and then euthanized it? Or said she would euthanize and ended up selling the puppy to to someone else? I can't remember the details, but I recall you were less than happy with the breeder at the time. Again, I apologize if I am remembering incorrectly.

I would really caution against getting a puppy just because you have the money invested and don't want to waste it. I feel even more strongly about this if there were lingering questions about the breeder. I am totally speaking from personal experience here! Sometimes we have to chalk it up to an expensive lesson, cut our losses and move on.

Look at the individual dog in front of you. Labs and Goldens aren't necessarily less energetic than a GSD. I can think of a whole lot of dogs of those breeds who are way more active. Don't generalize!

Good luck making the decision that is right for you!
Sheilah
06-17-2014 01:40 PM
Ellimaybel It sounds like he might be liking the idea of not just picking out a dog with you but also of rescuing one that might otherwise not get a second chance.
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