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Thread: Will I Eventually Feel The Bond...? Reply to Thread
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Topic Review (Newest First)
06-06-2014 04:55 AM
njk My girl is 7 months and I'm still waiting to feel that bond too. I know the situation you're in. Every day I'm online reading up on GSDs, my bookshelf has a heap of books on GSDs, as being rural means I can't get her to a trainer, so I'm trying to do everything myself (I've had some successes but a few failures too). So I understand completely. My partner's cousin has our girl's half-brother (he's now six) and she said she hid from him for the first year of his life. She would literally lock herself up in her room trying to get away from him. Now, he's her baby. He goes everywhere with her, they're joined at the hip. So I do think a bond will develop in time. I think it comes down to just not knowing how to communicate. Training is obviously beneficial for that reason, but not having training readily accessible means a lot more miscommunication for a lot longer time.
06-06-2014 03:02 AM
LookingForTheLight
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sabis mom View Post
I hope for your sake you give her a chance. Someone long ago advised, we don't always get the dog we want, sometimes we get the dog we need.
I am blown away by the amazing advice and support here. I was blessed to have found this great forum. I am keeping her... that is a final decision. This advice here made it crystal clear... I seriously CAN NOT thank all you enough. I may have not picked her out, things may be stressful now, and I may have gotten a late start on her obedience training... but I am looking at the positives. She is a loyal, loving, and beautiful dog. I am lucky to have her. Thank you all so much for helping me realize this all.
06-06-2014 02:56 AM
Sabis mom I hope for your sake you give her a chance. Someone long ago advised, we don't always get the dog we want, sometimes we get the dog we need.
06-06-2014 01:12 AM
LookingForTheLight
Quote:
Originally Posted by Diesel7602 View Post
I totally understand. For me.... I have a lot of autoimmune diseases, and some times I feel really worn out and not want to deal with any thing. But some how I keep chucking along. I hope your life starts being nicer to you. but don't give up. Your baby is still a baby and I bet she thinks the world of you. Just don't give up. One day you will be thankful you never gave her away.

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Thank you for that. Things are just stressful... not depressed at all, just very stressed. I feel bad she can not always be on the top of the list of things. I have faith things will get better, and the support here is amazing. Pictures of my beauty will come
06-06-2014 12:54 AM
Diesel7602
Quote:
Originally Posted by LookingForTheLight View Post
No, I do not feel that a need. I am not depressed. It is just my mother's father, my grandfather is near death, and we are just struggling with money because problems keep appearing that cost thousands of dollars, and yes I have lost contact with friends. I am not depressed, but things have been a little sad lately. I have wanted a dog for years now, so I did not just decide it now when things were getting rough. Plus, I got her several months before I lost contact with friends and things went downhill. I appreciate the concern, I really do, but I am not depressed. It may have something to do with the bond, though. She is sometimes put last because we stressed with many other things, so that may be a consideration.
I totally understand. For me.... I have a lot of autoimmune diseases, and some times I feel really worn out and not want to deal with any thing. But some how I keep chucking along. I hope your life starts being nicer to you. but don't give up. Your baby is still a baby and I bet she thinks the world of you. Just don't give up. One day you will be thankful you never gave her away.

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06-06-2014 12:29 AM
LookingForTheLight
Quote:
Originally Posted by Diesel7602 View Post
I don't mean this in any way to be rude... But have you tried to get some professional help, like for depression. I only say this is because you said you wAnted a dog to fill the void for your lost of friends and hard ship. Maybe it's hard for you to bond because it's something deeper inside, that might need a little kick to help you feel happy again.

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No, I do not feel that a need. I am not depressed. It is just my mother's father, my grandfather is near death, and we are just struggling with money because problems keep appearing that cost thousands of dollars, and yes I have lost contact with friends. I am not depressed, but things have been a little sad lately. I have wanted a dog for years now, so I did not just decide it now when things were getting rough. Plus, I got her several months before I lost contact with friends and things went downhill. I appreciate the concern, I really do, but I am not depressed. It may have something to do with the bond, though. She is sometimes put last because we stressed with many other things, so that may be a consideration.
06-06-2014 12:22 AM
Diesel7602
Quote:
Originally Posted by LookingForTheLight View Post
Hello All! I am relatively new to the forums, though I have lurked for nearly a year Well, I have a gorgeous German Shepherd mixed puppy, and I got her at 8 weeks old. She is now currently 10 months old, and is in her heat, but that is not in topic. I had gotten her as a present from my family, and I was so surprised to see her. I felt I was ready for a dog, but a puppy was a different story.

I tried my very hardest, made sure she was fed the right amount, fed and walked when I was unable, I kept her by my side, followed her when she left the room, and I tried very hard to bond with her. You see, I have lost contact with all my previous friends, and things have been hard in my family, so I had been longing for something to lighten the mood, and I have wanted my own dog for years now. At first I tried to force the bond, and soon it just became hard. I started to dislike being around her, and even the day after I had gotten her I did not wake up excited to take care of her as I thought I would be after getting a new puppy. I probably sound like a terrible person now! I looked up online and it all said eventually I will start feeling the connection and never wanna be away from her, and that was when she was 4 months.

She is now 10 months old as I mentioned before, and I still feel no bond or connection, and she just does not fit our lifestyle. On the other hand, she has every quality I want in a dog: athletic build, fast, water lover, very loving (although overwhelming at times), and not that this matters much, she is beautiful. I don't want to keep her with us if she just is not the right fit, but the thought of her leaving does make me sad a little bit. I just always groan when I have to take care of her, and that just sounds so wrong. We have two other family dogs and I take care of them with joy, but I just don't know... I have not yet been able to take her to training classes because things have come up that have sucked up a substantial amount of money. I am trying to set aside money to get her to training classes to see if it will work, but I do not feel the need if she just is not right for me or my family.

To make things simple, will this bond ever arrive? Does it take this long? How long has it taken you in the past to develop a connection with your dog? ANY advice is very much appreciated. Thank you so much for any help, and for reading my long rant!
I don't mean this in any way to be rude... But have you tried to get some professional help, like for depression. I only say this is because you said you wAnted a dog to fill the void for your lost of friends and hard ship. Maybe it's hard for you to bond because it's something deeper inside, that might need a little kick to help you feel happy again.

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06-06-2014 12:20 AM
DonnaKay I'm one of those that believes everything happens for a reason. That dog is with you for a reason. It doesn't matter how she got there, so let that go. The important thing is that she is there now.

Make some fun time for just the two of you, whether it's cuddling, playing a silly game, or just letting her lay next to you while you stroke her fur and talk to her. Who knows, maybe if you tell her how you feel, she'll look into your eyes and you'll realize there is a bond. You just needed to open yourself up to feel it.

I wish you the best in finding what you need. Bonding with your GSD is unlike anything else.
06-05-2014 11:58 PM
LookingForTheLight
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cara Fusinato View Post
Best wishes. I did something similar also with one of my aussies. I didn't let him "in". One day this lady walked by while we were listening to my husband's band. She said, "do you see how that dog looks at you? He adores you." That is all it took for me to look at him myself and realize how wonderful he was. It all changed when I stopped and looked. The female, I had to understand, that boy I just had to really look. Training even on your own is a really great way to forge a team. Hiking, walking through a park, any kind of activity where it is just the two of you will give you the chance to bond. You can do it! Sounds like she is a fabulous dog and that she truly loves you and wants to be a team with you.
Thank you! I will try hard I hope we feel that connection. I look at all these other posts of how much they adore their dogs and do not imagine live without them, and I just do not feel that way. But I am confident the bond will come. Thanks all again.
06-05-2014 11:54 PM
Cara Fusinato Best wishes. I did something similar also with one of my aussies. I didn't let him "in". One day this lady walked by while we were listening to my husband's band. She said, "do you see how that dog looks at you? He adores you." That is all it took for me to look at him myself and realize how wonderful he was. It all changed when I stopped and looked. The female, I had to understand, that boy I just had to really look. Training even on your own is a really great way to forge a team. Hiking, walking through a park, any kind of activity where it is just the two of you will give you the chance to bond. You can do it! Sounds like she is a fabulous dog and that she truly loves you and wants to be a team with you.
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