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Topic Review (Newest First)
01-21-2014 01:08 AM
SummerGSDLover
Quote:
Originally Posted by mcdanfam View Post
I have tons of stop and say hi friends...chat and catch up with but only a couple of very close knit friends. I am introverted and would rather spend that time with my girls and husband.
I live in a nice, medium size community, it seems there is a lot of comparing and one upping in this community... The less mature moms...the community pool always seems to be nothing but a gossip hangout. I tend to avoid this type of people. I don't like discussing others and people like to call me a b-word saying I am stuck up because I avoid groups at the pool and avoid other community functions. I do not like the mentality....I am 35 and have always preferred the company of older people who are well past the comparing of lives or being jealous. My best friend, is in her 40's she shares a lot of the same ideas, and interest....we also respect our differences....we are polar opposites with shared interest. We parent differently, keep house differently, but share some political and moral ideas and opinions. I am structured, early to bed... early to rise, everything has a place and is in its place, very routine and strict with my children, small talk kills me and drains me in seconds (a sign you are introverted), I hate petty crap, I don't waste time being fake, I am blunt, straight forward, I do not sugar coat anything, I am determined, will kill myself solving a problem, when I set my mind to something it will happen, I have very firm boundaries and will call someone when they cross those boundaries...they are no secret to anyone...everyone knows exactly what I am about... They can choose to accept it or not. My best friend....opposite on all of these things....the common things we share are accepting people for who they are, respecting personal and family boundaries, listening to each other and understanding we are not the same people, we are allowed to think and live differently.
My suggestion would be finding groups with common interest, be a friend to have friends and never loose yourself. I would take one best friend over tons of questionable friends. If they don't respect (they can have different thoughts and ideas but should respect yours-to many people think you have to think alike to be friends...not true) if your life, opinions, and ideas....are not respected...wait for a friend that will!
It takes time to build meaningful relationships, and to have a connection. Don't rush it, when you are happy with your life, your choices, yourself.... The right people find you!



Sent from Petguide.com Free App
Thank you so much. It's funny. A gal down the street was walking her "King" Shepherd and we got to talking. She's 48 and asked if we could go to a park with the dogs. We talked for 45 minutes. You all are right. If I just take care of what I need to do and do what I LOVE to do, they'll come to me. Hopefully lol. I obviously don't know yet if she'll be a friend but it was sure nice to talk with someone over the age of 9 who isnt my husband. Lol! Thank you for the response!

*-*Summer*-*
01-21-2014 01:03 AM
SummerGSDLover
Quote:
Originally Posted by wyoung2153 View Post
You'd put it in the chat room do you have a dog park near by? Look up some events where you can bring your pup too. If you go to church maybe start going to a small group or Bible study too. If you were in Florida I'd say let's get lunch.. Also curious how old you are just might make a difference in things people suggest you do

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I'm 26.

*-*Summer*-*
01-19-2014 08:35 AM
mcdanfam I have tons of stop and say hi friends...chat and catch up with but only a couple of very close knit friends. I am introverted and would rather spend that time with my girls and husband.
I live in a nice, medium size community, it seems there is a lot of comparing and one upping in this community... The less mature moms...the community pool always seems to be nothing but a gossip hangout. I tend to avoid this type of people. I don't like discussing others and people like to call me a b-word saying I am stuck up because I avoid groups at the pool and avoid other community functions. I do not like the mentality....I am 35 and have always preferred the company of older people who are well past the comparing of lives or being jealous. My best friend, is in her 40's she shares a lot of the same ideas, and interest....we also respect our differences....we are polar opposites with shared interest. We parent differently, keep house differently, but share some political and moral ideas and opinions. I am structured, early to bed... early to rise, everything has a place and is in its place, very routine and strict with my children, small talk kills me and drains me in seconds (a sign you are introverted), I hate petty crap, I don't waste time being fake, I am blunt, straight forward, I do not sugar coat anything, I am determined, will kill myself solving a problem, when I set my mind to something it will happen, I have very firm boundaries and will call someone when they cross those boundaries...they are no secret to anyone...everyone knows exactly what I am about... They can choose to accept it or not. My best friend....opposite on all of these things....the common things we share are accepting people for who they are, respecting personal and family boundaries, listening to each other and understanding we are not the same people, we are allowed to think and live differently.
My suggestion would be finding groups with common interest, be a friend to have friends and never loose yourself. I would take one best friend over tons of questionable friends. If they don't respect (they can have different thoughts and ideas but should respect yours-to many people think you have to think alike to be friends...not true) if your life, opinions, and ideas....are not respected...wait for a friend that will!
It takes time to build meaningful relationships, and to have a connection. Don't rush it, when you are happy with your life, your choices, yourself.... The right people find you!



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01-19-2014 08:18 AM
Loneforce I don't have any friends either "at least human ones" I don't see a problem with it.
01-19-2014 08:08 AM
wyoung2153 You'd put it in the chat room do you have a dog park near by? Look up some events where you can bring your pup too. If you go to church maybe start going to a small group or Bible study too. If you were in Florida I'd say let's get lunch.. Also curious how old you are just might make a difference in things people suggest you do

Sent from Petguide.com Free App
01-19-2014 04:14 AM
SummerGSDLover Where should I put it, forum wise?

*-*Summer*-*
01-19-2014 01:40 AM
SummerGSDLover Thank you all. I think I'll start a thread with my location - I think that's a great idea. Also volunteering. Another awesome idea. Thank you so much

*-*Summer*-*
01-19-2014 01:38 AM
SummerGSDLover
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilie View Post
Listen. Everybody needs someone who'll listen to them.

My husband is the type of person who knows no strangers. It doesn't matter where he is at, he is the person in the center of the group. All he does is ask a simple question. Even something simple like "have you ordered that before?" or "how do you like that truck?" and I know I need to sit back down....this is going to take a while.
My husband is exactly the same way.

*-*Summer*-*
01-19-2014 01:37 AM
SummerGSDLover
Quote:
Originally Posted by wyoung2153 View Post
Something that I have read recently about this exact subject was to treat Friendships like you would an actual relationship with your significant other (obviously without the physical need, lol) But you go about it the same way. Meet, talk, exchange numbers, do something in a big group, etc.

Another thing that I had to remind myself when I moved to Florida by myself was that friends weren't going to come to me. And I kept meeting people but they were all into things I wasn't, but then it dawned on me. If I want to have a friend who enjoys what I enjoy, I actually have to do those things. So I was going out, thinking if I'm out, I will meet people, vs the thought that well I'm going to go to the dog park more because those people like dogs too and there's a common ground. Or I want someone who is going to be able to keep up with me physically.. hiking, kayaking, running, etc.. so I should probably not put my "b*tch" face on at the gym anymore. Those kinds of things. It was really hard for me here for some reason, but just doing things I liked really really helped me meet people that are into the same things as me and it wasn't a constant struggle to find common ground. Also, I don't know if you go to church or not, but that was a huge avenue for me when I finally found one over here.

Are you more introverted or extroverted?
Definitely introverted.

*-*Summer*-*
01-19-2014 01:33 AM
shepherdmom
Quote:
Originally Posted by SummerGSDLover View Post
I need some. How do you go about making new friends? And once you have acquaintances how do you form a deep friendship? I seem to have a problem with this. I really am a nice person and would do anything for the people in my life. What am I doing wrong?

*-*Summer*-*
Stop looking. Be yourself. Do the things you enjoy and they will find you.
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