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Topic Review (Newest First)
04-25-2014 10:10 PM
mego Sending you a pm
04-25-2014 09:40 PM
Kiitsu I just want to let everyone know that me and Thor are doing much better today. I decided that I need to just take my life back, and it makes a world of difference for both of us. We will be just fine.
04-25-2014 05:06 PM
Kiitsu
Quote:
Originally Posted by SuperG View Post
Apply your "perfectionist" mentality to conquering your anxiety and all other attitudes which you know are not productive in the slightest. Don't know if you are a believer in a dog's ability to pick up on your emotions....if you are then both of you will benefit from taking a healthier approach.....and no faking it...dogs know when you are faking it.

SuperG
I will do my best. I don't know if I can keep my cool at all times yet, but it will get better. Just have to keep telling myself that I can do this.
04-25-2014 04:37 PM
SuperG
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kiitsu View Post
I don't think any dog deserves that life. And id never condemn a dog to that. Thats turning a life in to a lawn ornament and I do not believe in that.
I am working on his crate training. He does alright with it, we are making progress. But.....I discovered today that not only does he attach to me... he is extremely fearful of everyone in the house but me. Not a good sign. I am more worried about him now than I am myself. I have to wonder what happened in his life to cause this.
Edit: I had to go out for an hour today and Thor did not go well with it. He panicked the entire time, and was absolutely terrified of my mom and her boyfriend for no reason; his hair stood on end. This is not good guys. I think something happened to him. This has gone from me being anxious....to me being very concerned about this dog.
Apply your "perfectionist" mentality to conquering your anxiety and all other attitudes which you know are not productive in the slightest. Don't know if you are a believer in a dog's ability to pick up on your emotions....if you are then both of you will benefit from taking a healthier approach.....and no faking it...dogs know when you are faking it.

SuperG
04-25-2014 04:21 PM
Kiitsu
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dainerra View Post
from all of your previous posts you have a LOT of anxiety. Even if it is not about the particular situation at hand, you are likely giving him that feeling. So he is naturally going to be more anxious and act out more. Even if you are sitting there and your mind has wandered to the last time the family was upset about a potty accident, then he will pick up on that stress. If you are thinking I hope this all goes well and thinking of ways that it could be less than perfect, then he will pick up on that. You don't have to be wringing your hands and chewing your fingernails to stubs to make the dog nervous.

Tethering works wonders for housetraining. If they can't get out of your sight, they can't have an accident in the house. You see them start to sniff and just scoop them straight outside.

If you are anxious, fake happy. Upset, fake a happy voice. Try to keep your tone upbeat and you will be amazed at the difference it will make in him.

If you are only going to have to crate him 4 hours at a time, then you aren't going to need someone else to take him out. There isn't going to be that much you will need help with. You can do fine without help from the family. It may be a bit harder to deal with their annoyance but they will get over it or they won't. There isn't much you can do about their hangups.

Yes, he will cry when you first put him in the crate. He will quit. Leave a radio on in the room, that often helps. Keep your leaving calm and matter of fact. Start off with just short trips - 5 minutes or so. Returns should also be calm and don't let him out until he is quiet. If he knows sit, have him do that before you open the door.
If you are anxious or your mind is focused on "they will be upset if he makes noise while I am gone" your dog will pick up on that and think that being alone is something to be afraid of.

and definitely don't be stressing about having a fear biter on your hands. That can definitely turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy! Keep family interactions low-key and calm. Don't push him and make sure the family lets him approach and make the first move if he is nervous. They can just ignore him and let him get used to the environment.

It's only a couple days. He barely knows anyone, even you. Give him time to get used to things
Thank you, this post helped massively. I will do my best to just get over the anxiety I feel. I really love this dog. I want him to be a part of my life, I want to be able to take him everywhere with me...but first I need him to be alright without me sometimes, too. He is getting better faster than I thought.
Even when he had to go potty, he whined to me instead of just going. He is making progress and thats all I can ask for. I just want him to be happy.
04-25-2014 07:31 AM
belladonnalily Sent from Petguide.com Free App
04-25-2014 07:27 AM
Dainerra
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kiitsu View Post
thats what ive been doing so far, and I'm going to continue to try it for now. I don't leash him though, he just follows and stays with me. I am not anxious around him, I am always calm with him because I know I do not have to worry about him.

if his behavior continues, I may have a future fear biter on my hands. But we will see how he does.
from all of your previous posts you have a LOT of anxiety. Even if it is not about the particular situation at hand, you are likely giving him that feeling. So he is naturally going to be more anxious and act out more. Even if you are sitting there and your mind has wandered to the last time the family was upset about a potty accident, then he will pick up on that stress. If you are thinking I hope this all goes well and thinking of ways that it could be less than perfect, then he will pick up on that. You don't have to be wringing your hands and chewing your fingernails to stubs to make the dog nervous.

Tethering works wonders for housetraining. If they can't get out of your sight, they can't have an accident in the house. You see them start to sniff and just scoop them straight outside.

If you are anxious, fake happy. Upset, fake a happy voice. Try to keep your tone upbeat and you will be amazed at the difference it will make in him.

If you are only going to have to crate him 4 hours at a time, then you aren't going to need someone else to take him out. There isn't going to be that much you will need help with. You can do fine without help from the family. It may be a bit harder to deal with their annoyance but they will get over it or they won't. There isn't much you can do about their hangups.

Yes, he will cry when you first put him in the crate. He will quit. Leave a radio on in the room, that often helps. Keep your leaving calm and matter of fact. Start off with just short trips - 5 minutes or so. Returns should also be calm and don't let him out until he is quiet. If he knows sit, have him do that before you open the door.
If you are anxious or your mind is focused on "they will be upset if he makes noise while I am gone" your dog will pick up on that and think that being alone is something to be afraid of.

and definitely don't be stressing about having a fear biter on your hands. That can definitely turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy! Keep family interactions low-key and calm. Don't push him and make sure the family lets him approach and make the first move if he is nervous. They can just ignore him and let him get used to the environment.

It's only a couple days. He barely knows anyone, even you. Give him time to get used to things
04-25-2014 07:08 AM
LoveEcho
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kiitsu View Post
if his behavior continues, I may have a future fear biter on my hands. But we will see how he does.

What makes you say this?


Sent from Petguide.com Free App
04-25-2014 12:11 AM
DutchKarin Just a thought here. Have a plan when you get anxious or overwhelmed with this pup. It will happen and I think if you have a plan. For instance, say chews your favorite shoes. Say no and calmly remove him or put him in the crate. then you can step away, you can sooth yourself with a walk, de-escalate, whatever, and then return to the dog. They can be very trying at times and I think this should be expected. If you have a plan that can help you not transfer your anxiety to your dog. A class can also help you feel that you are not alone, a place where someone can answer questions and help you with your expectations, and help you make the gains in training you desire. This will also be anxiety reducing for you.

I guess, I would really watch your own anxiety because this can create trust problems with your dog.

Good luck, it is all possible with a commitment on your part.
04-24-2014 11:50 PM
Kiitsu
Quote:
Originally Posted by SunCzarina View Post
When you're around the other household members, put him on a leash so he's safe with you. If you can maybe eat dinner, watch TV do normal household things with him right there with you, he'll relax. It's all new to him.

If your anxious about a situation he will be too.
thats what ive been doing so far, and I'm going to continue to try it for now. I don't leash him though, he just follows and stays with me. I am not anxious around him, I am always calm with him because I know I do not have to worry about him.

if his behavior continues, I may have a future fear biter on my hands. But we will see how he does.
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