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Thread: Stay away from someone who lives with us Reply to Thread
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Topic Review (Newest First)
01-20-2014 09:36 AM
jessjeric
Quote:
Originally Posted by MichaelE View Post
Your dog sounds as if she is high threshold, which in this case is a good thing or grandpa is liable to get a leg full of angry teeth at some point down the line.

If grandpa doesn't back off, Veda might decide not to be so friendly one day and get tired of putting up with the abuse. I agree in that it's possible she is going to be very wary or downright afraid of elderly people when she gets older, and possibly aggressive towards them.

All dogs are different though and I wish you luck.


Nothing has happened between them since I originally posted this so I am happy about that. So far grandpa is the only elderly person Veda is weird around. She has started to bark at him when she sees him sometimes. It's usually when he's not even doing anything but reading the paper.
I make it a point to get her out to meet new people so I'm hoping that will help counteract this not so great situation with an elderly person.


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01-20-2014 09:16 AM
MichaelE Your dog sounds as if she is high threshold, which in this case is a good thing or grandpa is liable to get a leg full of angry teeth at some point down the line.

If grandpa doesn't back off, Veda might decide not to be so friendly one day and get tired of putting up with the abuse. I agree in that it's possible she is going to be very wary or downright afraid of elderly people when she gets older, and possibly aggressive towards them.

All dogs are different though and I wish you luck.
01-20-2014 08:25 AM
jessjeric Grandpa has refused to play with Veda ( he laughed and said "I don't play with dogs") but things have been better. He's been helping moving the gates around when he switches rooms and hasn't been AS grumpy about Veda being around so that's a plus.
Veda is also doing better about staying away from him throughout the day. I just keep distracting her with treats and games. My parents like having her around so if they come home before I do they let her out of her crate and have been doing the same things to distract Veda from my grandpa.


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01-10-2014 04:20 AM
OriginalWacky
Quote:
Originally Posted by jessjeric View Post
Thank you, Sri. I've noticed this morning she has been automatically coming to me when she sees him which is encouraging. I will start working with her on a leash.

DJ you do not know me or my situation so kindly back off. This was an unexpected and unwanted move. Obviously it's not ideal.
Please try not to take the blunt (and often harsh) things people say on here personally. All of us (including you, obviously) are passionate about dogs or we wouldn't be here, and often things that aren't meant in a cruel manner can come across that way in text, without the context of body language.

As far as her and your grandpa, if she uses seeing him as a cue to come to you, then that's one step towards preventing him from mistreating her. For the times when you aren't around, if she is going to be 'free' to spend time with your parents and their dog, maybe you can teach her something different as a reaction to him so that she doesn't wind up too close to him and have negative stuff happening.

I hope it works out for you all, and that grandpa starts to behave a little bit (yeah, wishful thinking probably, I know), and your pup doesn't suffer for it all. Hopefully your trainer will have further ideas that can help.
01-09-2014 01:47 PM
Sri
Quote:
Originally Posted by wolfy dog View Post
Great!
It is like desensitizing dogs. Small steps will do it. Stop when things go well. Slowly involve Gramps in simple games. You could teach her his name so she can look at him when you ask her "Where is grandpa?" People generally are flattered about it. It just comes down to "You cannot appreciate what you don't understand".
I don't know how clear minded he still is but you could try to explain that times have changed and nowadays dogs are more considered family members and that you love Veda so much that you don't want her to live outside.
Just find the right time to have conversations like this to make it effective.
It is easy for us to say for you to move out (don't know your age) but that is not always an option and you have to respect the rules of the house. I think some of the advice you got is too harsh. Negativity in this case will only make matters worse. At the same time you have to keep Veda safe from possible outbursts and never leave her alone with him. If he comments on that, you cannot say that you don't trust him but rather that you want her with you at all times
And later, after you grandpa has passed, it is wonderful to be able to look back on an experience that you were able to turn positive.
Good luck in working with Grandpa, keep us posted.
I love wolfydog's advice . So balanced.
01-09-2014 10:50 AM
wolfy dog
Quote:
Originally Posted by jessjeric View Post
I've had another talk with my grandpa about it and so far he seems to be making an effort. I've also been trying to play games with her as a distraction for when he comes around. I think then it'd more of a fun thing with me than me keeping her from what she thinks could be fun. That's been helping her ignore him as well, even when we aren't playing.
Great!
It is like desensitizing dogs. Small steps will do it. Stop when things go well. Slowly involve Gramps in simple games. You could teach her his name so she can look at him when you ask her "Where is grandpa?" People generally are flattered about it. It just comes down to "You cannot appreciate what you don't understand".
I don't know how clear minded he still is but you could try to explain that times have changed and nowadays dogs are more considered family members and that you love Veda so much that you don't want her to live outside.
Just find the right time to have conversations like this to make it effective.
It is easy for us to say for you to move out (don't know your age) but that is not always an option and you have to respect the rules of the house. I think some of the advice you got is too harsh. Negativity in this case will only make matters worse. At the same time you have to keep Veda safe from possible outbursts and never leave her alone with him. If he comments on that, you cannot say that you don't trust him but rather that you want her with you at all times
And later, after you grandpa has passed, it is wonderful to be able to look back on an experience that you were able to turn positive.
Good luck in working with Grandpa, keep us posted.
01-09-2014 10:44 AM
jessjeric Thank you, Sri. I've noticed this morning she has been automatically coming to me when she sees him which is encouraging. I will start working with her on a leash.

DJ you do not know me or my situation so kindly back off. This was an unexpected and unwanted move. Obviously it's not ideal.


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01-09-2014 10:12 AM
Sri I was in a somewhat similar situation when we had a relative who is afraid of dogs stay with us for a few days. Ours was only3.5 months old then. I had him on leash the first day, and every time he went near her, i just said 'uh uh' and walked a few feet away. Second day on, I could take the leash off and just called him back. After that he just ignored her. I think he sensed too that she was afraid of him and stayed away. He normally loves people.

They are smart, I am pretty sure Veda will understand that you want her to stay away from your grandpa in just a few days if you just say 'leave it' and call her back every time she goes near your grandpa. This won't help all of your situation but I just had to say something encouraging to you.
01-09-2014 09:46 AM
DJEtzel It doesn't matter if she's a happy, confident pup. Your grandpa could easily change that you knowingly put her in that situation which is irresponsible. You should not have gotten a dog while living with that man.

Glad your grandpa *might* be changing... But don't count in it. LAT training could go far in this case as well.
01-09-2014 08:56 AM
jessjeric I didn't ask for anyone's criticism coming on here. Veda is with me 18-24 hours out of the day, she's well fed and exercised, has plenty of things to chew on, I take her to outings and play dates all of the time, and she is very much loved. She's a happy, confident pup.

I've had another talk with my grandpa about it and so far he seems to be making an effort. I've also been trying to play games with her as a distraction for when he comes around. I think then it'd more of a fun thing with me than me keeping her from what she thinks could be fun. That's been helping her ignore him as well, even when we aren't playing.
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