The Recovery Process

[rockhead]

Today is a pretty big day. I'm meeting a couple of 6-month old GSD's. I'm unsure of both of them and will only know upon contact; that's really what this is coming down to.

[cpatrzyk]

Cary...
Godspeed.
We're all behind you today.

[Sashmom]

Good luck Cary....hope you have a good experience with the pups

[rockhead]

It's so hard trying to understand what just happened. In short, I brought a 7-month old pup home at 8PM Sunday night, and I brought him back at 7PM Monday night. It simply was not right. If you care to read the whole' long story, read on. Otherwise, I'm backing down from the adopt-now state of mind and am going to wait a little while longer.

I got a call from a local rescue I had contacted about two weeks ago. He's a solid black male PB, about 7-months. The information is spotty, but I'm told he belonged to a man who has become very ill and will be unable to care for the pup. It sure looked that way; the dog was about 20-pounds underweight and filthy. He was supposedly UTD on shots, but there was no documentation. The owner said he would release the records to the rescue, but demanded privacy and wanted to be certain his name was not on any paperwork. The rescue only had him overnight and didn't have a chance to eval him.

Writing all that has me shaking my head and asking myself "What was I thinking?"

I met the pup and he came out jumping and happy. He saw us and immediately challenged with some barking, but quickly setlled and became friendly and playful. He took a treat from me and looked for more, but he had no idea what the squeaky toy was for. He had a couple of small scars around his eyes and nose. Cats? Raccoons? His frame seemed good and his face/ears were gorgeous. He was obviously PB and would mature into a sleek, European GSD.

After about 15 minutes I began to explain to the rescue owner that I told myself I would not leave here with a dog and that I needed at least a couple of hours to think about it. I looked over at Rhonda who was sitting on the ground playing with him. She gave me the same look she gives me whenever she wants something badly.

We left without him and had lunch at a local diner. I was so unsure, but also consciously pushing myself to move forward. I'm sick of being sick over Eich, and I think getting a GSD in the house is the thing to do. I call the rescue back after lunch and we pick him up a few hours later.

Our first stop was Petco for a self-service bath. The mud that came off this pup! On the bright side, he allowed me to completely bathe him and handle his eyes, ears, feet, tail, and genital area with no issues. He was scared, but not too shy and displayed zero aggression.

After getting home we only had a couple of hours before bedtime. We explored the house and he seemed cautiously curious, checking out a room carefully before running back to me with his tail wagging. He seemed to have very little training and no socialization, as he barked at my neighbor when we went outside for a walk. He was also not completely housebroken, as we found out by 'accident'. He ate about a cup of food and displayed no food aggression, but it was still pretty early for an eval. After a few hours of playing and settling down he went in the crate for the night. He whined for about 30-minutes, then settled. I was up all night. It didn't feel right.

In the morning (6AM) he was up and ready to go! We went outside and toured the property. After breakfast we watched some TV before Rhonda got up. I bent over to hug him and he recoiled as if he thought I was going to hit him. When I tried to brush him he cowered from the object in my hand and ran away. I tested him by raising my hand and bringing it down fast - of course, not striking him. He flattened himself and cowered. Damnit. He really is a terrific pup. Loving and alert, playful, intelligent, and really, really pretty. How the **** could he have been mistreated?

I jumped in the shower and it hit me like ton of bricks - this was not the pup for me, and I was not ready for him. The decision was so obvious and easy that I knew it was right, and this pup deserved better. When I told Rhonda she already knew.

We kept him all day, brought him to a park and taught him what to do with a tennis ball. He ate and ate and ate - 6 cups of food in 12-hours. He also drank an entire quart-bowl of water at a time. I'm certain he's not accustomed to having food and water readily available. This only made it worse.

Bringing him back was awful, even though I knew he was not going back to the owner. The rescue understood and was very kind, asking me if I noticed any behavioral issued. When I told her of my observations she nodded her head and admitted that she was unsure of the owner. Maybe this is why he doesn't want his name getting out.

This experience has only amplified my grief and made me wary of rescues and rehoming offers. How someone could beat a young pup is beyond me - I recall 12-years ago how I almost lost my job in the NYPD when I witnessed a Pitbull puppy being held by its neck and slammed into the side of a dumpster.

Next week will be six months since Eich died, and I'm not ready.

[Karin]

I'm so sorry to hear of your experience, Cary, but it sounds like you did the right thing. And now the little guy is clean and well-fed and ready for that special home that he needs. Speaking from experience, it's very hard to have a dog that's been abused, and that cowers when you pet it and expects to be hit. We've had a lot of trials and tribulations with Heidi, but from the beginning, I felt like she belonged with us. If I didn't, I probably would have done the same thing as you did because it has to feel right in order for it to work out--especially when the dog has a lot of issues.

After we lost our first dog, Sheba, we didn't get another dog for 14 years. Although, looking back, that seems way too long, I can say for certain that we knew we couldn't get another dog for quite a while, so I can completely understand your not being ready yet.

Take care and don't beat yourself up about this. When the time is right, you'll know it. And when the dog is the right one for you, you'll know it as well.

[Mary Jane]

Cary,

I'm terribly sorry that you went through this emotional roller coaster, but please don't generalize from this rescue to all others.

Originally Posted By: rockhead
I got a call from a local rescue........ The rescue only had him overnight and didn't have a chance to eval him........

This experience has only amplified my grief and made me wary of rescues and rehoming offers. ....

This sounds like a really unusual policy. From my single experience with adoption the rescue had a policy prohibiting adopting the dog on the first meeting. Having passed the adoption application and had a home visit were not the issues, the issue was that overwhelming desire to take the dog.

However your principal point is the only one that matters: you are not yet ready.

I'm sorry for the dashed hopes,
Mary Jane

[rockhead]

Originally Posted By: MaryJaneThis sounds like a really unusual policy. From my single experience with adoption the rescue had a policy prohibiting adopting the dog on the first meeting. Having passed the adoption application and had a home visit were not the issues, the issue was that overwhelming desire to take the dog.

Your point is valid. I should have mentioned that I had already passed an application process and several of my references "vouched" for my home, however there was no home visit and I was welcome to take the dog at first-sight if I wanted to.

No matter - I think I've learned something important about myself and I'll take it with me to the next candidate. Thanks for your thoughts.

[RebelGSD]

I have to admit, I don't understand it. You returned this adorable pup beacuse it cowered? And this makes you wary of rescues and rehoming efforts? There is a lovely pup that needs a good home badly, you do have a good home, what do you expect?

My dog, that slept in my bed for the past 9 years, is dying of HS same as your Eich, he is posted in the "health" section. I don't know how long I will have him around. Being unable to help him, makes me want even more to help other dogs. I currently have a foster (that would be dead without me) and I am picking up another one this week (that would also be dead without me). I find that the best way to honor the memory of the dog whose life I could not save is to save another life that I can save. I do understand grief (experienced it several times, unfortunately), but I do not understand returning a dog that did nothing wrong and only needs love and patience. I am sorry.

[angelaw]

Sadly, not all dogs that are in rescue or a/c are perfect with no issues. There are far too many that were abused and need the time and care someone is willing to give. I hope you aren't expecting a perfect dog from a rescue/shelter as you might not get it without some work.

[RebelGSD]

I would also like to ask on whose rug and whose time should your future pet be housebroken? It is normal for a stressed out dog to have an "accident" in the new home, even if it is the perfectly healthy, perfectly trained dog from the perfect home. Dogs have feelings too, not only people. If you are not prepared to give your new pet an adjustment period, it is better not to get a new dog.