The Recovery Process

[rockhead]

Here I am, on vacation on Florida's Gulf Coast, writing on GSD.com during the Superbowl halftime show!

I spotted a beautiful long hair GSD while attending an art festival on Lido Beach today. I walked up to the owner and asked if I could meet her dog. 4-year old Cody was very well trained and did a perfect sit/greet for me. I was a bit apprehensive about how I might respond. When I looked over my shoulder for Rhonda I saw that she had already walked away, unable to remain composed.

I told Cody's mom that we just lost ours and we talked for a few minutes. She was clearly shocked by my quick story. I walked away teary and had to sit for a few minutes. Afterwards, we walked around for another hour or so and met my parents for lunch.

This sort of thing would have paralyzed me for several days only 2 months ago.

Just checking in - back to the game!

[rockhead]

Weird, unexpected reminder #7,113:

I dozed off for a few minutes while poolside here in Florida. When I snapped out of it I immediately looked around to see where Eich was. Being out at the pool put me at my own backyard pool last summer before things fell apart.

Weird, unexpected reminder #7,114:

I put on a pair of sandles which I haven't worn since last summer. Guess what was stuck all over the velcro fasteners?

[kelso]

Eich's hair?

I remember finding hairs of Meeka in strange places as well, sad but sweet also.

I enjoy reading your writings and hope you continue to heal from the loss of your boy

Hope all is well

[Katerlena]

I understand how you feel. Katers been gone over 6 months now and I still had several crying jags this week (and a dream about her last night too--she was peeking @ me passing by a doorway in my old apartment. Just the glimpse of her made me happy).

Maybe people ask when you are getting another one because they think it may help and also because you and your family sound like wonderful GSD owners. While no dog will replace Eich you may find unexpected joys in a new family member.

Last Dec we lost our cat who my husband had a very special bond with and we adopted another a few weeks ago who looks just like her but a male and quite different in personality--but who immediately bonded intensely to my husband. While this cat did not replace the other there is now more love and laughter that replaced emptiness and grief.

[rockhead]

Originally Posted By: Kater... there is now more love and laughter that replaced emptiness and grief.

Wow. That would really be a relief right about now. I just don't want to push it. I know there's no 'template' for this, but I wish I had some idea what to do.

[rockhead]

I was so proud of myself. I came home from Florida last week (the trip I almost cancelled out of concern for my then-sick dog) and actually got up the fortitude to put his toys away. The collection of indoor toys had been piled up in the usual spot next to the fireplace since... well, since. I placed his collar around the metal urn that holds his ashes and put his blue ball-y on top. I then took the rest of the stuff and placed it on the top shelf in a garage cabinet where I used to store the extra stuff (or whatever he was getting too obsessive about!) I did this all without shedding a single tear!

Today, I came home from the gym, took a shower, and flopped onto the bed after getting dressed. I looked over at the blanket which was bunched up next to me. Without thinking about it I grabbed the blanket and shook it just like how I used to instigate a "fight" with Eich. That's all it took.

Rhonda watched the Westminster Kennel Club show a couple nights ago and commented that she thought the Tibetan Mastiff was beautiful, perhaps we could think about one of those. I Googled it. It is, indeed, a beautiful dog. But the American TM Association website says things like "They're very independant", "You must never walk them off-leash" and "The dog WILL NOT come when called" I thought of my guy, a velcro-dog who only wanted to be next to me, could be taken anywhere off-leash, and would come when called no matter what he was doing.

It's GOT to be another GSD. Someday.

[srfd44-2]

The Process is slow, but you are doing good. One day there will be another in your life, but only when you are ready. When that day comes make sure you share the pictures with us.

[lucymom]

I am raising a glass to your Eich tonight as I toast my own sweet Lucy, taken by hemangio this Christmas. It is a vile disease, an invisible demon and you are right, we are tormented by the fears of how the end will come. It steals our peace of mind as well as our beauitful babies.

Writing about your beautiful boy can be therapeutic. It honors him and keeps him close in your heart and mind. He's a radient beauty.

There is no timeframe on grief, only small steps we can take when we are ready, and it's okay to take steps back too. There are triggers everyplace and emotional landmines around every corner.

Among it all, are the smiles of memories of our loved ones, of a love we would have traded nothing for. The love lives on, it warms us when they are gone.

What hemangio does NOT take is the love, and the spirit of your beautiful dog. He lived well even when sick and was loved as he passed.

I don't want to preach spiritual beliefs, but I believe that our dogs are such pure, loving souls that they MUST move on to a place where we shall meet them again.

My heart and thoughts go out to you.

Jennifer

[Clearmeadowstables]

I'm new here but reading your stories has brought a tear to my eye. This May it will have been two years since I lost my Katia. She was a wonderful dog that loved us to a fault. We are now just starting the search for another GSD to join our family.

[meisha98]

I jumped into a new puppy only because I had lost my 7 year old boy Vegas to cancer in August and then my mom at the end of October. I knew Lainey would keep me "busy and out of trouble" so to speak. Vegas will always be in my heart but I look forward to seeing places I had known with him to her. She has some of his toys that although huge for her, she plays with. He lives on.