The Recovery Process

[idahospud49]

I am slowly getting better about being able to drive up to the house and not expect Amadeus to come running up to the truck to greet me. I never would have guessed that I would miss having to look out for my dorky dog when I was backing up into my parking spot. I was always sitting in my truck telling him to get out of my way so I wouldn't hit him. Now when I go on walks the two neighborhood roamers make an extra affectionate hello to me since their third walking buddy is no longer around.

[vomSHRINER]

Originally Posted by rockhead

I lost a heart dog this past September and have had one **** of a time getting back into the swing of things. When Eich was sick and in the days following his death I found solace in this forum every day, sometimes several times a day. It's been almost two months since he passed but it seems like much longer.

It's getting easier to do the little things that used to cause tears, like getting ice from the ice dispenser, walking up to the mailbox, or shutting off the tractor blades; Eich would charge into the kitchen for his icecube whenver he heard the dispenser run, would always accompany me to the mailbox, and came running when he heard the tractor shutting down as he knew I was finished.

I caught myself selecting the lockers in the gym numbered corrosponding to the number of days since his death and forced myself to stop.

There have been random thoughts and some conversation about another dog, but neither of us are anywhere near ready right now. I'm sure it will happen someday... I just can't say when.

Anyway, I thought I'd put this thread up for those of us who just need to check in for one another from time to time. Your comments are welcome.

this poem helped me in Sept when my wife and I had to put our 14year old bi-color "Bear" down.

Treat me kindly, my beloved friend,
for no heart in all the world
is more grateful for kindness
than the loving heart of me.
Do not break my spirit with a stick,
for though I should lick your hand between blows,
your patience and understanding will more quickly teach me
the things you would have me learn.
Speak to me often,
for your voice is the world's sweetest music,
as you must know by the fierce wagging of my tail
when your footstep falls upon my waiting ear.
Please take me inside when it is cold and wet,
for I am a domesticated animal,
no longer accustomec to the bitter elements.
I ask no great glory than the privilege
of sitting at your feet beside the hearth.
Keep my pan filled with fresh water,
for I cannot tell you when I suffer thirst.
Feed me clean food that I may stay well,
to romp and play and do your bidding,
to walk by your side,
and stand ready, willing and able to protect you with my life,
should your life be in danger.
And, my friend, when I am very old,
and I no longer enjoy good heath, hearing and sight,
do not make heroic efforts to keep me going.
I am not having any fun.
Please see that my trusting life is taken gently.
I shall leave this earth knowing with the last breath
I draw that my fate was always safest in your hands.

~Author Unknown~

Hope this helps and remember he is in a good place even though it is not with you. Sorry for your loss. I know what you are feeling. Having a hard time writing this. Take care.

[rockhead]

Reading over some of my posts from the last couple of years is a true indication of how much better things are now. Rookie will be two next month. () Has it really been this long??

My parents lost Cody a couple of months ago. He was an elderly yellow Lab. He was born with some sort of chemical imbalance which made him pretty much unpredictable and unapproachable. He was a real PITA to anyone who did not have daily contact with him - a totally non-prototypical Lab.

My mother was waxing poetic over Cody a couple of days ago - how perfect he was, etc. I understood how she felt, but at the same time understood the denial. My own Eich was protective of his food and toys - he would often growl at anyone who got too close when he had a particular bone or ball. Nobody could have told me anything when he first died, though I now readily accept that he had his issues.

I figure it'll be about a year before my mother realizes how tempermental Cody really was.

[Apostolis]

I have recently read two great articles about getting over the loss of a dog. The one is Losing a German Shepherd and the other one is Getting over the loss of a dog. Hope it helps. I know it helped me...

[DougGeneration]

I don't plan on reading any of these any time soon, but I'll definitely take note of them. I can get very emotional at times.

[Tritonsmom]

Triton was our first GSD and left a big void in our lives after caring for him for only 8 mos. He was the runt, and notably so because of a probable blood clot that also left him with one kidney functioning at about 75%. He was a great dog with great drive, but was just dealt the wrong cards. I miss him most, especially making his special homemade food for dogs with renal failure ...

[rockhead]

I've just got to share this.

Does everyone remember the glass mementos I had made with some of Eich's ashes?





The red bone represents his first puppy toy and the blue ball was, of course, his Ball-y... the one toy he was never without. Some of you may even recall how that small random clear spot on top of the blue glass ball perfectly duplicates the hole in the actual rubber ball where the squeaker used to be. It occured purely by chance, but perhaps that hole was not so random.

Anyway, the bone sits atop my fireplace mantel and the ball is displayed on a bookshelf. Earlier today I noticed some dust on top of the bone. I got a little upset cleaning it, perhaps thinking it was neglected. I made sure I went straight to the ball to clean it off and saw that hole on top. I recalled what someone posted here a while back... that the hole was Eich telling me he was OK. I pretty much lost it and sat on the couch with the ball for a few minutes. Just then, Rookie came over and sat in front of me. He licked the ball a couple of times (not me, the ball) and then proceeded to pretty much climb into my lap.

These are the most amazing animals.

My mother, also dealing with the loss of her Yellow Lab, recently tried to loan me a book... something to do with life as viewed by a dog. I declined, citing that I probably would not be able to read it. She gave me the overall synopsis... that dogs are repeatedly reincarnated so long as they have work left here with us. Now, I'm not about to say that Rookie is Eich's reincarnation; not even close. But 2 years ago, puppy Rookie sat and looked solomn when I brought him to "Eich's" tree (where I spread some of his ashes). I saw that again today.

There is some sort of link between these two canines who never met one another. I can't put my finger on it, but I might have to borrow that book after all.

[Warrior09]

I had lost the only true friend i had 3 years ago, and i still can't get over him being gone. He had that hip dysplasia and I never got the chance to do the right thing and take him to the vet to be put down, but while i was away with my mother, my father gave the okay to "shot" him. I never really forgave them for that. I had him for 13 years and then all of a sudden he was gone one day. Sometimes i think i feel his presence in the yard at the certain spot. I also think my 3 year old rottweiler "Bella" has some sort of a connection with him spiritual. Not reincarnation but i think there is something there just like you feel about ur Erich. Its a bond i think, a special bond we will forever hold dearly with them. Its been 3 years since his death and i still remember every detail about him and our relationship. I pray that one day i will see him again when my time comes.

[fasteddielv]

I recently lost my best friend of all time. He chased a squirel out of the yard into the path of a oncoming car. He lived for a day following the incident, but had ruptured his bladder in addition to his pelvic bone being fractured in three places with nerve damage. The bladder was according to the vet most likely in many pieces and therefore inoperable.
I find it hard to come home without him here to greet me, I find it hard to not get excited for club training, but most of all, I find it hard to not have my best friend at my side. RIP my Mojo, it was a short 5 years we had together, I hope you are having fun while waiting for me on the other side.

[rockhead]

It's been nearly six months since my last post, but I've been lurking. I see the view count on this thread increases steadily, but the new posts have decreased. I think that's a good thing. I hope everyone who comes here to read finds some comfort or resolve in what everyone else has said.

I see a couple of recent threads regarding HSA. I read through one of the linked blogs up to the point where the blogger posted a picture one of her kids drew. I then promptly lost it and closed the browser. I'll finish the story another time.

There are a few things I've come to realize now that it's been 3.5 years since Eich died from HSA:

1. You really never do get over it, but it does get better as the days go by. I can easily talk about him and what happened - unimaginable a few years ago - but I can also get myself worked up.

2. You will know if and when the time is right to move on and let another dog in to your life - don't let anyone else tell you when that time is.

3. You will realize that no matter what you did, wanted to do, or think you could have done, there was nothing that would have changed the outcome.

Eich made me a better person, and I'll miss him forever. I hope all the visitors to this thread eventually feel the same way.