The Recovery Process

[steaminz]

We had to release our 17 year old Chow-Chow Magic yesterday. This on the near heels of letting our 12 year old GSD mix Cosmo go on March 31st. They are free from pain and sickness. We are devastated. Cosmo had liver disease he carefully hid before we could possibly help. Magic simply reached 'that point' of no quality of life some here have certainly seen before.
It is not about us. It is about them. Still,the reality of what had to be done was so sad and painful.
We miss our beloved 'kids' sorely. I want to say more. For the time being it was important to just get this out. My own release.

[JudynRich]

It is so hard to lose our beloved and best friends, I am so sorry for your loss. Keep writing (a journal is good)-it can help and it gives you a quiet moment to reflect on your dogs. When my daughter was 6 she got a poodle puppy, that dog died after 18 years. We buried her in the back yard, and she goes out each week and turns on the lamp "for her". She says she will do this for one year.

[BLK GSD]

Folks, if you're caught up in an area of indecision, wondering whether you are still mourning and pondering whether or not to get another pup, take it from me; you are ready. Your body is saying you are ready. You are not replacing your lost pet; you never could. You are simply filling the tremendous void that your pet left. Many things will change, some better, some not so much, but many things will be the same. Rookie has latched on to Eich's old rope Kong with the exact same intensity (maybe more) that Eich had. He's my new pet, and he's not a replacement; he's fortification. And yours will be, too.

wow Cary.. I am so having this problem.. No doubt i am still morning my second heart dog, Caeser I lost on fri 5/21. I could tell the moment I met this dog he was special. There came a time he needed a new home and my first heart dog Maleki was dog aggressive and i couldn't give him that home. Lucky a friend of my step sister was able to give him a home. I loved Maleki with all my heart and he was my first heart dog.. He was very bonded with me and i took him everywhere with me. Then one early morning he woke me up. Ended up rushing him to emergency vet. I lost him to bloat. And I was devastated. It took me 2 hours to leave there. I was so empty. Was lost coming home to a empty house. I still morn him. My boyfriend and mom both knew about Caeser and tried talking or should I say bribing the girl into letting me have him, hoping it would help me deal with losing my boy. But she and her kids where attached and if she needed to rehome him she would let me have him. My boyfriend got me to start looking at adopting another one and we did. (He is a good dog but more his dog then mine). Then a year after we adopted Mikah. She was needing to rehome Caeser. So he came to live with me.. I was so right on the money when I said he was specail. I didnt think i could have a another heart dog. but i was so wrong. He became my new shadow and was happy just being with me no matter what i was doing.. He would look me in the eyes so lovingly. And now I am going through it all over again. I adopted Maleki and only had 3 yrs and a yr later Caeser comes back in my world, only 3 yrs with him before he got sick (diagnosed with Addison possible tumor in glads because he wasn't getting better on meds). I loved this boy and I am so lost without him. this dog would sleep with me all night and never leave me. He was the most affectionate dog.. I loved him and i feel so empty again...
So i have found my self looking for another dog because i'm trying to full a void that i'm missing. i found a 18 month old that i saw with that strong bonding and affection and laid back easy going like Caeser was. But I wasnt sure if I was ready and as been along time since I had to train a young GSD (only been in a kennel) (a showdog failure being homed into pet home) we talked and she gave me good advise and to think about it, i told her i would think about it for a week but not to hesitate if a good home came along to place him. Because I wasn't sure if was ready, and i didnt want him to lose the chance of a good home because i couldn't decided what i wanted. i wish i would have read this about two weeks ago.. I think I just missed out on maybe my third heart dog.. She email me and told me she placed him and the man and him took up right away. he had a good home.. But i still wonder if I am ready.. but reading what you wrote really makes me feel i may have lost out on a great dog... This is good advice from Cary because you may just miss out on the next great dog in your life..

[steaminz]

BLK GSD, First my condolences for your loss. We were also in a similar state of mind. Our wonderful Cosmo succumbed to liver disease just two months ago. We were blindsided by his illness and sudden loss. This because our Chow Magic was approaching 17 and though healthy we knew she was well beyond her breeds average lifespan. We were preparing ourselves for the day she would have to leave us. Then we lost our 12 year old buddy Cosmo... A few years ago I stumbled upon Kaiser at about two months of age. He needed a home and Cosmo now could use a buddy as Magic had once needed one. So his loss was profound for Kaiser too.
We were very concerned for him. In a way it brought the thought of looking for a companion for him rather than us, a sooner than later proposition. With the exception of our Chow-Chow, our animal family members have always been a 'moment in time' addition. ShellBee has now arrived. A fifteen month old purebred black GSD. She was kenneled since weaning over a year. Now remember we were only thinking about getting another dog. We mostly rescue but we had such great lives with a rescued Shepherd mix that I checked around for breeders in our area. Possibly bringing a puppy home sometime for Kaiser to raise. Well, I sent a fateful e-mail to a kennel a couple of hours away. Just inquiring. Researching. Got a message back that though I was interested in a puppy they had a 13 month old female that needed a home. She was caught in the middle of a breeder dispute over hip representation. It is a long story but she had been purchased to breed and her hip test was not satisfactory for that purpose. So in the ongoing dispute she lived in the kennel and was never socialized or had a real home. She is though an absolute sweetheart. We took Kaiser to meet her and she came home with us.
What I am trying to convey is it always seems to be something else at work getting our four-footed freinds and us together. In this case we thought we could be rushing the process. Didn't really have a plan. A lot of ongoing emotion and uncertainty. A leap of faith if you like. We now know bringing ShelBee into our lives was the right thing for her,Kaiser,and us. We can never replace our 'kids'. We can however, be open to change and the unconditional love awaiting those who are paying attention.
Hope all goes well for you in your quest. I truly believe some things are meant to be.

[Baersmama]

We now have two GSD's, and have had three that have passed on. One, Baer, lived only for 20 months. When we lost him, it was so sad, because we never got to see the beautiful (adult) dog he would have been. I agree, we need to remember the wonderful times shared -- and even in this short life, I know Baer was happy. I think we were led to him, because God knew his life was destined to be short --and we would be able to care for him. So sorry for your loss of Eich. You wlll know when you are ready to open your heart to another dog. We can never replace what we have lost --- but we can make room in our hearts for another. Take care.

[BLK GSD]

thanks steaminz, my heart goes out to you as while and everyone with the loss of their special dogs...
i agree Baersmama, we cant never replace and a dog lovers heart is never full and their is always room for another one... when the day comes, the right one will enter and a void will fill a little... hugs to all...

[rockhead]

I'm subscribed to this thread that I started way back when, and it's been a long time since I or anyone else posted to it. I suppose that's a good thing. I want to share something that caught my attention last night.

My wife got annoyed at Rookie when he lunged in front of her as she opened the slider onto the deck. "Why does he have to do that?", she asked. I immediately replied, "Would you rather have a dog that is food and toy aggressive, a submissive urinator, shreds his bedding, and eats the moldings off the walls?"

Yes, I bashed Eich mercilessly. But I called it like I saw it. Eich was a beautiful, loyal dog who impressed everyone with his attentiveness and obedience, but he had his quirks.

Rookie is a total goofball who listens most of the time , but is otherwise calm, totally trustworthy with food and toys, and really just an overall pleasure to have around.

I felt a little pang of guilt after I realized what I said, but it wasn't like it wasn't the truth. We talked about Eich for a minute or so afterwards and it was the first time in nearly two years we have been able to do so without one of us tearing up. I'd still give anything to have had him longer, but I think at this point I can call myself recovered.

I think I'm going to take a long break from this thread and pay more attention to the things that make the process worth repeating.

[JazzNScout]

Originally Posted by rockhead

I'm subscribed to this thread that I started way back when, and it's been a long time since I or anyone else posted to it. I suppose that's a good thing. I want to share something that caught my attention last night.

My wife got annoyed at Rookie when he lunged in front of her as she opened the slider onto the deck. "Why does he have to do that?", she asked. I immediately replied, "Would you rather have a dog that is food and toy aggressive, a submissive urinator, shreds his bedding, and eats the moldings off the walls?"

Yes, I bashed Eich mercilessly. But I called it like I saw it. Eich was a beautiful, loyal dog who impressed everyone with his attentiveness and obedience, but he had his quirks.

Rookie is a total goofball who listens most of the time , but is otherwise calm, totally trustworthy with food and toys, and really just an overall pleasure to have around.

I felt a little pang of guilt after I realized what I said, but it wasn't like it wasn't the truth. We talked about Eich for a minute or so afterwards and it was the first time in nearly two years we have been able to do so without one of us tearing up. I'd still give anything to have had him longer, but I think at this point I can call myself recovered.

I think I'm going to take a long break from this thread and pay more attention to the things that make the process worth repeating.

What a cool post! I was so incredibly devastated last year at the loss of my Jasmine, and in all honesty, my husband and I adopted another dog too soon -- Two months later we adopted an Aussie mix with disabilities and in some ways I felt more of a hole in my heart because he was/is so un-German shepherd like

A year after Jasmine's death, the puppy bug hit me by surprise, and we rescued a girl puppy (GSD) a few weeks ago. I was amazed at how in love with her I immediately felt. I forgot, it seems, that I was able to do this. I have "admitted" that she is the easiest puppy I have ever had. I love her temperament and she's smart as a whip. I am amazed by her. And that's ok. I also realize that my other dogs have all paved the way for me to be a better dog parent, and that things only get better.

Meanwhile, the Aussie mix is in totally smitten with the puppy (she is more mature than he is -- he is the one who cries at night now!) and has taken on the role of "clown big brother," showing his real sweetheart side, while Scout, WGSD with his own crazy issues, is the gentle grandfather who allows her to step on his nose, but who will gently place a paw on her back when he needs to say, "Enough, now."

[Blitz Burgh Steeler]

Sorry for your loss my friend, I know the pain all to well. Czar (Rott/Doby mix) died in my arms last year and it was the hardest thing i ever did . I laid with him, my stomach against his back with his head laying on my arm so he could smell me .I laid with him for 3 hrs. I would have laid there all week if thats what it took . My boy was not going to die alone. He is at rest under my bedroom window,that was his favorite spot when he was outside. He used to dig in that very spot wanting to stay cool and stay close to me when he was outside in the cool months during the day. I mis the sh!t ouit of him. He was about 11-12 yrs old, i adopted him from a guy who's work was taking him to England and it broke his heart to have to give him up. Czar was about 2 yrs old then . The poor guy cried as he drove off my property, but he knew Czar now had 5 acres to roam, no more fenced pen or collars and leashes.He loved kids and loved Rocky, my 18 lb Cat and tolerated my daughters Yorkie, Cuddles. Rocky loved to wash Czars face , it was the funniest thing to see this cat lick this HUGE dogs face all over.I wish i could get over deaths , but i can't seem too. I still miss Lady, my first dog , a GSD we adopted when i was 9 back in 1967.She passed away in 1978. I cried for months.... I stiil get choked up when something reminds me of Czar. The loss of those you truly love is never gotten over ---- its something that you ENDURE--at least thats how i feel. Sorry again for your loss and like you i finally got Blitz and he is filling the whole left in my heart.If people had the traits of a good dog ,it would be a perfect world!!! I LOVE DOGS

[Emoore]

Tomorrow it will be 3 weeks since Cash inhaled his Kong ball and died. I never got the chance to say goodbye-- I petted him when I left for work and a few hours later my husband was calling me from the vet's office to come and view his body. So far not a single day has gone by without me crying. Some times just a few tears fall; others I am gripped by great, body-wracking sobs and feel like I wish I were dead too. If it weren't for my husband and Rocky the temptation to follow Cash would be so great.

I am so tired of being sad all the time. All I want is my Cashdog back.