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RIP Ghost

2K views 13 replies 11 participants last post by  Walter Mitty 
#1 ·
Rest in Peace my beautiful boy, you were my heart, my healer and my angel.
Ghost was 7 weeks when we brought him home and he died at 10 1/2 months old.
I have spent the last week, furiously writing down everything, all the great things, all the puppy things, between bouts of uncontrollable crying and sadness, just so I don't forget anything, what it amounts to is pages and pages of mostly crazy stuff because Ghost was a great puppy but terrible all the same, typical GSD and so unlike any dog we have ever had. We loved him beyond reason and spoiled him rotten and thank goodness we did, I have no regrets in that regard, he was a wonderful boy with a giant personality. I miss him so much, I can't bear to put away his things or vacuum his hair off the floor and I am completely at a loss. He was just a baby, we are devastated. This is last picture I took of my Ghosty about a week before he died.
Ghost 10/11/15 to 08/20/16
 

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#11 ·
Thanks.
There is a whole other thread I started about what happened even though I am not quite sure myself. I go from thinking we did what we had to for him, to thinking there should have been something else that we could have done, to it was my fault for letting them give him the rabies shot at the same time as being neutered to wishing I had not followed the vet's advise in getting him neutered at 8 months, to just being so sad that he isn't here anymore.
 
#13 ·
Thanks Selzer, I think the guilt comes in waves and in my head I know it's normal.

We were so careful with Ghost, with everything, his food, training, socialization, probably over careful since I lost my big old poodle at almost 11 y/o last October and my bulldog in January at 5 1/2, (about two months after he had a full round of booster shots), it's been a real **** year to be honest. But then my husband reminds me that every other dog or cat we have owned and loved has had these shots with no effect that we know of with no knowledge or thought other than we had to do it because it was the law, even the stupid feral cats that I feed were fixed at 7 weeks and given rabies and other shots to no effect, I still feed them 5/6 years later, the ones that haven't gotten run over by cars.

I would like to blame someone, since I am angry...angry he didn't get to live to be 10, 11 or 12 like he was supposed to, I am sad that my baby isn't here to hold/bite my leg or slobber on me or coat my legs with hair or go for a walk or share my banana or help me put groceries away by stealing them out of the cupboard or be in every single thing I am doing and in the way all the time. Yes, I realize this is normal, it's just quiet and lonely and clean and there isn't food, water and hair all over the floor other than what I can't bring myself to vacuum up yet.
It's still early in the grieving process and I will beat myself up for a while, I loved him beyond everything. And then maybe it was nothing we could have prevented at all, maybe he was just here for that moment in time to love and spoil but it doesn't make it better.

I know every person here understands this.....I have been through this what seems like countless times and yet the pain is still the same, it's always hard and even more so when they are heart dogs and even more so when it is not expected in any way. Ghost was my first GSD and even though my husband swore he would be the last (oh he was such a terrible puppy but had just started growing up) I am planning on another, hopefully someday soon.
 
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