Nights suck so bad. Every single night I find myself awake, unable to sleep, going through all 400 pictures of her on my phone, and crying. I miss her so much.
My older girl, she is sad too. When she catches me crying she'll give me a sad look, then come over and comfort me.
It just still hasn't sunk in that she is really gone. I still haven't come to terms with anything. No more Saturday petstore visits to pick out treats and toys, no more daily walks, no more car rides, snuggling, kisses, no more waking up early, and having to wake her up, bc all she wanted to do was sleep in and snuggle w mama..I never expected her to be taken away so soon, and from such a terrible thing.
I lay awake all night thinking about the what ifs, the should haves..It wasn't fair to her to be taken this young.
I had so much planned for us...it makes me sad to think of the things shell never experience,...playing in the fall leaves, playing in the snow, going on runs in the forest preserve, going swimming in the lake, her first birthday..and most importantly, all the years of love and happiness we were supposed to share together.
Sorry about ranting, had to let the sadness out. I hope you are okay wherever you are, and i hope that you are pain free. Its so lonely without you here Akira....I would have done anything to help you live the life you deserved. My heart is so completely shattered. I hope you know how much you truly mean to me, how special you are...how much you touched my heart, and changed me for the better, and how much I love you. Ill be looking forward to the day we are reunited..
And thanks llombardo, he is a cutie. I am thankful he is here with me, he makes me laugh when all I wanna do is lay in bed and cry. He gives me a purpose. Sorry about you mother,
I am glad she gave you your love of animals though, what a special gift to have.