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Old 08-18-2012, 01:48 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Unhappy A VERY heavy heart

It is with a VERY heavy heart that I write this post. I lost my Little Bear (Heidi) this week. I found out only 9 days before she died that my girl had acute myeloid leukemia. The vet said it is not common in dogs. Heidi's breeder said that in over 50 years of breeding GSDs, she's only known of one other of her dogs that has had it. Heidi turned 9 in March.

I spoke to the vet last Saturday and he said he had never seen numbers like hers since he was in vet school 25 years ago. He told me today that she did not suffer. He said it was kind of like having a cold or the flu and that she probably just felt blah.

When he gave me the news on 8/6, he said we could see an oncologist or try her on steroids. When I spoke to him last Saturday, he thought she had about a month and chemotherapy (at a cost of $5,000) might double that to two months. In fact, from last Saturday, Heidi had only 4 days. She died at home Wednesday morning.

We started steroids last Saturday and it was a huge task trying to get her to eat anything. I live and work at a Christian conference/retreat center and Heidi has always LOVED our lake. I took her Sunday night and she was like a little puppy. She was sooooooooooooooooooooo excited and happy. I was very careful about throwing the Frisbee, but we went in the water and she got to roll in the sand and in the grass. Monday night, we did the same thing. Tuesday night, we went again. It did my heart good to see her so happy and animated.

When I got up Wednesday morning, things were not good. Heidi was very lethargic and had thrown up twice. She wouldn't eat or drink. I took her out and she peed right away. When I started to walk to where she usually pooped, she layed down. Then, when I brought her in, she just layed flat on the bedroom floor. When I took my shower, she came over and layed close to the bathroom door like she always did.

I knew it was time to call the vet and make that last final trip... When I got to work, I asked my coworkers to pray that Heidi would just die at home so we wouldn't have to do that. About 3 hours later, I walked home to check on her and she was gone. I figured she most have died fairly quickly after I'd left, because she was only a tiny bit warm between her back legs.

One of my coworkers came with a couple other guys and took Heidi to be buried. We have a large field and our maintenance director buried Heidi at the edge of the woods.

In the backyard of my apartment, I've had a rose bush for a few years that has never done very well and usually doesn't bloom. On the day Heidi died, it had a beautiful pink rose on it. I cut the rose and put it with two of her Frisbees on her grave.

I miss her so much. My apartment feels so empty without her.

I love you, Little Bear! You may be gone, but you'll be in my heart forever.
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A VERY heavy heart-heidi-11-03-11b.jpg  
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Edelheid von Baerchenhaus (Heidi) ~ 3/18/2003 - 8/15/2012
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Sophie von Baerchenhaus ~ 8/15/2012 -

.......__o
.......\-\
....( )/\( )...
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Old 08-18-2012, 01:55 PM   #2 (permalink)
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I am so sorry for your loss
It must feel awful, but now she feels no more pain at least. :/
Sending good thoughts and prayers your way!
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Old 08-18-2012, 01:58 PM   #3 (permalink)
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The perfect pink rose for my Little Bear...
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A VERY heavy heart-100_5566.jpg   A VERY heavy heart-100_5568.jpg  
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Heidi's Mom a.k.a Susan

Edelheid von Baerchenhaus (Heidi) ~ 3/18/2003 - 8/15/2012
Heidi's Dogster page

Sophie von Baerchenhaus ~ 8/15/2012 -

.......__o
.......\-\
....( )/\( )...

Last edited by Heidi's Mom; 08-18-2012 at 02:01 PM.
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Old 08-18-2012, 02:00 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Heidi and the rose are both beautiful...
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Old 08-18-2012, 02:01 PM   #5 (permalink)
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so sorry for your loss. I am so happy to hear you had such a great last few days with her.
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Old 08-18-2012, 02:03 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Thank you so much. Wow, this really hurts...
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Edelheid von Baerchenhaus (Heidi) ~ 3/18/2003 - 8/15/2012
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Sophie von Baerchenhaus ~ 8/15/2012 -

.......__o
.......\-\
....( )/\( )...
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Old 08-18-2012, 02:03 PM   #7 (permalink)
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I'm so sorry. She was a beautiful and obviously well loved dog.
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Old 08-18-2012, 02:06 PM   #8 (permalink)
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I am so sorry to hear of Heidi's passing.
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Old 08-18-2012, 02:07 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Oh Susan, I'm so sorry to hear about Heidi. She had a good life with you, and in the end she she didn't suffer. No matter how long we have them it's never long enough, but her last few days were happy, doing what she loved to do, and that's all we can hope for. RIP Heidi.
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Old 08-18-2012, 02:11 PM   #10 (permalink)
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I am so very very sorry for your loss
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