My beloved Jacob

skischool · 11-11-2011, 06:35 PM

I had to say goodbye to my best friend Last sunday. He was fine one day died the next. He was almost 11 and I raised him from a pup. He knew of no other home his whole life. I have had 2 children that he helped to raise, both hand fed Jacob when they were toddlers.
He was the most gental, kind, sweet dogs I have ever known. He was smart as a whip too, he could pick out kongs by their color, get the tennis ball or the chuckit ball if you asked him..
Simply an amazing dog he was. I have buried him in the yard under his favorite tree and made his grave site a memorial to his greatness.
I am so total distraught at times I can't function. Unable to work I may loose my job.. This is harder than loosing a person. I feel guilty, pain, remose, the whole gamut.. I know time will heal this pain I just am unable to see that far ahead.. I am taking each day an hour at a time..
I miss my "big guy"!! My "buster brown nose" He was never more that 6 feet from me at all times I was home. Waiting at the door when I came home ready to please.. I can't stop looking for him in the house. I see him out of the corner of my eye and turn to see him... He's not there anymore..... I am so sad I don't know if will ever get over this...
Help me!!!
Michael

Daisy&Lucky's Mom · 11-11-2011, 06:52 PM

Michael It is a horrible experience to which every dog owner unfortunately experiences.Jacob had a great life . He spent his whole life in the home he loved and knew only joy and love. You no matter how hard you try could not stop this. There are some counselors who provide grief counseling to parents/owners weho have lost their 4 legged companions,What you are describing is grief and it is very similar to what a parent goes through when they lose a child.You gave Jacob the very best and blaming yourself is natural at this time but you need to hear You did nothing to cause this and it sounds as though there was nothing for you to do to stop it. My heart is w/ you at this terrible time. Jacob would be saddened to see you this upset and would want you to grief but take care of yourself. Please take care.

DanielleOttoMom · 11-11-2011, 06:56 PM

My heart aches for you. Your memorial has brought me to tears.

It ok to cry and morn your loss of your beloved friend, protector, your heart dog. Like you said take each day hour by hour. Celebrate the times you did have together. The memories your family and Jacob created. He will always be watching you and your family from heaven. I'm sorry for your loss, again my heart breaks for your family May he rest in peace in his spot under the tree. Send hugs and from Dallas!

rgollar · 11-11-2011, 07:00 PM

I am so very sorry for you loss. Jacob is such a beautiful dog.

tami97 · 11-11-2011, 08:32 PM

Im so sorry for your loss. Know that you gave him a wonderful like.

**jocoyn** · 11-11-2011, 08:36 PM

Many of us share your loss and know the sting. The pain will never fully go away but it does get replaced by warm memories of the good times. Honest.

Todd · 11-11-2011, 08:38 PM

What a handsome GSD! I'm very sorry for your loss. Take care of youself Michael. When I lost Heidi in May it helped me to think about how lucky I was to be with her for as long I was. Maybe that thought will help you through this.

PaddyD · 11-11-2011, 09:06 PM

Very sorry for the passing of your friend. It takes a long time to grieve and a long time to stop looking for them at every turn. The habits we have of caring for them and spending time are hard to break. Be easy on yourself and take things as they come whether they be tears or smiles in remembering how great he was.

skischool · 11-11-2011, 10:34 PM

Thank you all for the kind words of support. I know I did all I could for Jacob and gave him a wonderful life, it's his big heart I miss. I know he wouldn't want me to feel this way he always could tell if I was sad or mad... He knew just what I needed to set me straight again.. Reading the fourm and going to pet support sites help but I think talking it thru with others is what helps the most. My mother is so distraught she wont call because we just cry.. She had found him for me, a New Skeet dog he was.. I have never been with such a noble, intelligent animal in my whole life. This guy was smarter than me... I took his presence for granted and didn't see his demise over that last week.. He slept more and drank a lot of water. I thought he was getting old... It's hard to imagine growing old without a true companion like Jacob was....

CaliBoy · 11-12-2011, 04:25 AM

Michael: The first healthy step in dealing with traumatic grief is to do what you are doing--to reach out to others who have experienced that kind of sorrow also, so that you can get it off your chest. I'm also glad that Jacob is buried at his favorite tree, where you can honor and cherish his memory. There is something about burial of the remains that is very healthy in the journey of letting go. And also, collecting Jacob's things, his toys, his leash, his bowl, etc. is a good way of sorting through the memories, which you need to do at this time.

Unfortunately, not all our friends or acquaintances understand what it is like to have such a warm and loyal bond to a German Shepherd. They don't have an experience of those qualities of sweetness, steadfastness, innocence, intelligence, and duty to hard work on our behalf that we have been blessed to know. So the loss of such a pet, especially our "heart dog" that we tell others, "I never had a dog like that" is indeed devastating.

My guilt was weird when my heart dog died. I mourned her and was shaken by her loss more so than even the humans I had been so close to. I still don't have that one figured out, but I felt guilty about being more messed up from a dog's death than a human's death. I totally love my human family and friends who have passed on, and I miss them. But when my heart dog died, I took her death the worst of all.

The folks in this forum who have lossed their beloved German Shepherds really do understand what you are going through, and it is always enjoyable to see them share their memories and their stories of the pets who have passed on. Everyone here has a unique path of finally coming to terms with the death of their fur babies.

But Michael, after many sleepless nights, and rivers of tears when we yell "why, why, why, why?????" there is light at the end of the tunnel. After seeing our beloved deceased friends in the corners of our eyes, and swearing that we hear them in the next room, and wandering around in a daze and looking for them at all hours of night or day, only to realize they're not here physically, things do actually get better.

Someday, when you begin to dwell more on the happy times with Jacob, and not so much on those horrific last days, the nightmare of his taking a final turn for the worse, his last trip to the vet, etc.--when you begin to remember more the light and less the darkness and grief, you may well open up your heart for another one. When my dog died, I endured an extremely brief time before I had to get another GSD. I have no regrets, because he is the sunshine that warms each of my days. But each person has to give themselves an official time of mourning, an official permission to be miserable and in the dumps, before they decide that their dog would have wanted them to go on, and go forward, and live life again with joy and love and the heart to try a new adventure with a new pet. But that is a very personal decision to each person who is a mourner.

11-11-2011, 06:35 PM	#1 (permalink)
skischool Junior Member Join Date: Nov 2011 Location: Milwaukie, oregon Posts: 27	My beloved Jacob I had to say goodbye to my best friend Last sunday. He was fine one day died the next. He was almost 11 and I raised him from a pup. He knew of no other home his whole life. I have had 2 children that he helped to raise, both hand fed Jacob when they were toddlers. He was the most gental, kind, sweet dogs I have ever known. He was smart as a whip too, he could pick out kongs by their color, get the tennis ball or the chuckit ball if you asked him.. Simply an amazing dog he was. I have buried him in the yard under his favorite tree and made his grave site a memorial to his greatness. I am so total distraught at times I can't function. Unable to work I may loose my job.. This is harder than loosing a person. I feel guilty, pain, remose, the whole gamut.. I know time will heal this pain I just am unable to see that far ahead.. I am taking each day an hour at a time.. I miss my "big guy"!! My "buster brown nose" He was never more that 6 feet from me at all times I was home. Waiting at the door when I came home ready to please.. I can't stop looking for him in the house. I see him out of the corner of my eye and turn to see him... He's not there anymore..... I am so sad I don't know if will ever get over this... Help me!!! Michael Attached Thumbnails

11-11-2011, 06:52 PM	#2 (permalink)
Daisy&Lucky's Mom Knighted Member Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: Ohio Posts: 2,437	Michael It is a horrible experience to which every dog owner unfortunately experiences.Jacob had a great life . He spent his whole life in the home he loved and knew only joy and love. You no matter how hard you try could not stop this. There are some counselors who provide grief counseling to parents/owners weho have lost their 4 legged companions,What you are describing is grief and it is very similar to what a parent goes through when they lose a child.You gave Jacob the very best and blaming yourself is natural at this time but you need to hear You did nothing to cause this and it sounds as though there was nothing for you to do to stop it. My heart is w/ you at this terrible time. Jacob would be saddened to see you this upset and would want you to grief but take care of yourself. Please take care. Last edited by Daisy&Lucky's Mom; 11-11-2011 at 07:00 PM.

11-11-2011, 06:56 PM	#3 (permalink)
DanielleOttoMom Elite Member Join Date: May 2010 Location: Dallas, TX Posts: 1,954	My heart aches for you. Your memorial has brought me to tears. It ok to cry and morn your loss of your beloved friend, protector, your heart dog. Like you said take each day hour by hour. Celebrate the times you did have together. The memories your family and Jacob created. He will always be watching you and your family from heaven. I'm sorry for your loss, again my heart breaks for your family May he rest in peace in his spot under the tree. Send hugs and from Dallas! __________________ Otto Blk GSD 02/23/10 Circe Blk Sable GSD 06/22/08 My fur babies!! Last edited by DanielleOttoMom; 11-11-2011 at 07:02 PM.

11-11-2011, 08:32 PM	#5 (permalink)
tami97 Member Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Katy Texas Posts: 190	Im so sorry for your loss. Know that you gave him a wonderful like. __________________ Shasta 01/17/2011

11-11-2011, 08:36 PM	#6 (permalink)
jocoyn Moderator Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: South Carolina Posts: 8,052	Many of us share your loss and know the sting. The pain will never fully go away but it does get replaced by warm memories of the good times. Honest. __________________ Nancy www.scsarda.org Grim (Grimmy Bear) & Beau (Bo-dee man) Waiting at the Bridge: Cyra, Toby, Rainbow, Linus, Oscar, Arlo & Waggles

11-11-2011, 07:00 PM	#4 (permalink)
rgollar Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Michigan Posts: 303	I am so very sorry for you loss. Jacob is such a beautiful dog.

11-11-2011, 08:38 PM	#7 (permalink)
Todd Elite Member Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Wilkes-Barre, PA Posts: 1,130	What a handsome GSD! I'm very sorry for your loss. Take care of youself Michael. When I lost Heidi in May it helped me to think about how lucky I was to be with her for as long I was. Maybe that thought will help you through this. __________________ Todd Abby - Adopted 11 July 2011 Heidi - RIP (3 May 2011) Run free little girl, you gave me the best seven years of my life.

11-11-2011, 09:06 PM	#8 (permalink)
PaddyD Banned Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: MassaCHEWsetts Posts: 5,222	Very sorry for the passing of your friend. It takes a long time to grieve and a long time to stop looking for them at every turn. The habits we have of caring for them and spending time are hard to break. Be easy on yourself and take things as they come whether they be tears or smiles in remembering how great he was.

11-11-2011, 10:34 PM	#9 (permalink)
skischool Junior Member Join Date: Nov 2011 Location: Milwaukie, oregon Posts: 27	I miss you Big Guy... Thank you all for the kind words of support. I know I did all I could for Jacob and gave him a wonderful life, it's his big heart I miss. I know he wouldn't want me to feel this way he always could tell if I was sad or mad... He knew just what I needed to set me straight again.. Reading the fourm and going to pet support sites help but I think talking it thru with others is what helps the most. My mother is so distraught she wont call because we just cry.. She had found him for me, a New Skeet dog he was.. I have never been with such a noble, intelligent animal in my whole life. This guy was smarter than me... I took his presence for granted and didn't see his demise over that last week.. He slept more and drank a lot of water. I thought he was getting old... It's hard to imagine growing old without a true companion like Jacob was.... Attached Thumbnails

11-12-2011, 04:25 AM	#10 (permalink)
CaliBoy Master Member Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: California Posts: 561	Michael: The first healthy step in dealing with traumatic grief is to do what you are doing--to reach out to others who have experienced that kind of sorrow also, so that you can get it off your chest. I'm also glad that Jacob is buried at his favorite tree, where you can honor and cherish his memory. There is something about burial of the remains that is very healthy in the journey of letting go. And also, collecting Jacob's things, his toys, his leash, his bowl, etc. is a good way of sorting through the memories, which you need to do at this time. Unfortunately, not all our friends or acquaintances understand what it is like to have such a warm and loyal bond to a German Shepherd. They don't have an experience of those qualities of sweetness, steadfastness, innocence, intelligence, and duty to hard work on our behalf that we have been blessed to know. So the loss of such a pet, especially our "heart dog" that we tell others, "I never had a dog like that" is indeed devastating. My guilt was weird when my heart dog died. I mourned her and was shaken by her loss more so than even the humans I had been so close to. I still don't have that one figured out, but I felt guilty about being more messed up from a dog's death than a human's death. I totally love my human family and friends who have passed on, and I miss them. But when my heart dog died, I took her death the worst of all. The folks in this forum who have lossed their beloved German Shepherds really do understand what you are going through, and it is always enjoyable to see them share their memories and their stories of the pets who have passed on. Everyone here has a unique path of finally coming to terms with the death of their fur babies. But Michael, after many sleepless nights, and rivers of tears when we yell "why, why, why, why?????" there is light at the end of the tunnel. After seeing our beloved deceased friends in the corners of our eyes, and swearing that we hear them in the next room, and wandering around in a daze and looking for them at all hours of night or day, only to realize they're not here physically, things do actually get better. Someday, when you begin to dwell more on the happy times with Jacob, and not so much on those horrific last days, the nightmare of his taking a final turn for the worse, his last trip to the vet, etc.--when you begin to remember more the light and less the darkness and grief, you may well open up your heart for another one. When my dog died, I endured an extremely brief time before I had to get another GSD. I have no regrets, because he is the sunshine that warms each of my days. But each person has to give themselves an official time of mourning, an official permission to be miserable and in the dumps, before they decide that their dog would have wanted them to go on, and go forward, and live life again with joy and love and the heart to try a new adventure with a new pet. But that is a very personal decision to each person who is a mourner.

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