Nikka...and soon to be Titan's...memorial garden pics

[Josie/Zeus]

So beautiful.

When we had Zeus cremated, I thought long and hard as far as what to with his ashes, it sat for a long time in my living room, I couldn't bring myself to bury him and accept that it was really over and that he was gone.

When we were making decisions on Saturday, I did not want Odin's ashes as it will sit in my living room for a long time. I cannot and will not be able to bury his ashes, we had him cremated and his ashes will be put in the communal cemetery. I don't want to accept that he's really gone, it's too painful.
I will have his portrait done and will place it next to Zeus's. It will take a while, I can't look at his photos without crying my eyes out.

[fuzzybunny]

What a beautiful way to memorialize. I love it.

[PiedPiperInKC]

Originally Posted by Josie/Zeus

So beautiful.

When we had Zeus cremated, I thought long and hard as far as what to with his ashes, it sat for a long time in my living room, I couldn't bring myself to bury him and accept that it was really over and that he was gone.

When we were making decisions on Saturday, I did not want Odin's ashes as it will sit in my living room for a long time. I cannot and will not be able to bury his ashes, we had him cremated and his ashes will be put in the communal cemetery. I don't want to accept that he's really gone, it's too painful.
I will have his portrait done and will place it next to Zeus's. It will take a while, I can't look at his photos without crying my eyes out.

OH, my heart is hurting for you so bad...probably because my OWN heart is still hurting so bad . (although my heart would be hurting for you regardless!)

It will be 6 weeks on Friday that Titan died. I STILL haven't processed his death yet. It happened 4 days after I buried Nikka and 3 days after I got Kaiya BECAUSE Nikka died. While my husband was putting Nikka's ashes in the ground on Tuesday, he was telling my 16-yr old daughter and I how even though he was going to center the stone in the landscape bed - he was going to bury her to the left, so that SOMEDAY, when Titan died, we could bury him there, too, and just move her stone over. My daughter and I BOTH said "NO, don't even TALK about that...ESPECIALLY after everything we've just been through!!" 3 days later...he was gone

One minute he was playing frisbee - the next we were in the emergency vet clinic putting him to sleep.

I really don't think I will deal with his death until after summer is over - at least I'm pretty sure that's how it will play out.

My bond with him was WAY too strong, WAY too deep and everything happened WAY too fast. Then, I came home and have had a new 'baby', summer chaos with the kids, etc. - so it was just easier to 'put it on a shelf' for now than to deal with it. This may sound weird - but his passing and his life deserve my 100% attention - and until I'm ready to 'go there'...I'm just not. I KNOW he's gone - but I haven't ACCEPTED that he's gone. It's not fair that I lost him when I did and therefore, I'm just not doing 'all that' yet.

My husband picked up his ashes a week 1/2 after he died. I got the voicemail VERY unexpectedly saying we could come pick them up. It took 3 weeks to get Nikka's back, so I really was taken off guard. I burst into tears because I haven't even GRIEVED yet - so to go pick up his ashes? H**L NO! He went and picked them up the end of June and put them somewhere in this house where I cannot find them (per my instructions). When I'm ready - I will ask where they are. The day he died, a good friend was here and had her really expensive camera taking pics of new baby Kaiya...and Titan. Once she found out he died - she IMMEDIATELY emailed me the pics. That was 6 weeks ago - I still haven't opened that e-mail...I just can't. Those were the last pics of him alive and he looked SOOOOOO beautiful and healthy. The word 'death' and 'Titan' still haven't 'connected' in my brain yet...at least emotionally.....so I DEFINITELY get what you're saying.

Nothing I am saying is going to make your journey easier - and my God to lose a puppy? It's hard for me to even imagine...especially now. Just know that I COMPLETELY understand your pain for what it's worth!