Lost my soul mate

opiemybaby · 06-23-2011, 08:59 PM

Opie was my first dog ever. I rescued him when he was 1. He actually found me and the rest was history. I honestly didn’t know how much I was capable of loving something. Opie was the love of my life. I am feeling tremendous guilt at this time.
Opie was 11.5 He got a benign tumor just above his tail a few years ago. I didnt want it removed because it wasn’t necessary. A few months ago it bled a little so I took him to the vet. The vet felt it was time to get it removed he also was encouraging me to have his teeth cleaned. So, reluctantly I decided to have both done.
This was two months ago. He came out of surgery just fine. He started skipping breakfast a bit (just not as hungry) He still ate night and still loved treats. He seemed a bit more tired than normal but still loved his daily walks and seemed to have normal energy. No throwing up, no whining, still drank just fine. I called the vet but decided not to take him in. People kept telling me he was just older and recovering and this was all normal. I hate taking him to the vet unnecessarily.
Well I woke up 2 days ago Opie was in the bathroom waiting for us to wake up. He couldn’t move, couldn’t stand . I gave him kisses told him I loved him, called several vets freaking out he died in about 15 minutes.
His blood tests were 100% normal two months ago, the day he had the surgery.
I am so devastated over this. I totally regret not doing an autopsy. The vet did an ultrasound and said there was fluid in his belly so she thinks it was his spleen. (Shouldn’t this have been caught on the blood test?).
How does one get past the guilt and self blame? How does one move on when the one thing keeping them going is gone? When does the crying end?

Jax08 · 06-23-2011, 09:07 PM

I'm so sorry for your loss. He's a beautiful boy and has such soulful eyes. It sounds like hemangiosarcoma (sp?). It's truly a silent killer. There is nothing you could have done. It's a sad day in the German Shepherd world.

Lilie · 06-23-2011, 09:07 PM

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Big hugs to you. He was a very beautiful boy.

PaddyD · 06-23-2011, 09:08 PM

I feel so sad for you. Many of us here have lost our canine friends and it is very normal to feel guilt. Because they can't speak, we don't know what is going on inside them. Many dogs are very stoic and don't show how much they are suffering, which makes it harder for them and for us to help them. We feel guilt because we think we should have known or done something sooner but part of that is grief. It takes a long time to accept that we always did our best. But right now there are no words that are adequate to relieve your sadness.

Tbarrios333 · 06-23-2011, 09:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PaddyD

I feel so sad for you. Many of us here have lost our canine friends and it is very normal to feel guilt. Because they can't speak, we don't know what is going on inside them. Many dogs are very stoic and don't show how much they are suffering, which makes it harder for them and for us to help them. We feel guilt because we think we should have known or done something sooner but part of that is grief. It takes a long time to accept that we always did our best. But right now there are no words that are adequate to relieve your sadness.

Beautifully said. I'm very sorry for your loss. RIP big guy.

vat · 06-23-2011, 09:21 PM

I am so very sorry for your loss. It does get easier with time but we always remember and they always hold a special place in our hearts.

asja · 06-23-2011, 09:24 PM

I'm so sorry for the loss of your Opie. We all know how you feel. I've lost several dogs.

Please don't have any guilt or self blame, there is nothing you could have done. From your description, I'm pretty certain your dog had hemangiosarcoma, a blood-borne cancer that invades the spleen, liver, and heart. It is a silent killer. There are few if any symptoms. My dog had a swollen abdomen, and my vet removed his spleen, but the cancer had already spread. He only lived another three weeks. He also had blood tests a few months before, and all were normal. Look up hemangiosarcoma, and believe me, there was nothing you could have done to save him.

I'm so sorry.

Silvermoon · 06-23-2011, 09:35 PM

What a handsome boy. I am so sorry for yor loss. He will be forever in your heart and waiting for you at the bridge. Try not to feel guilty, he knows you loved him with all yor heart.

Holly

fuzzybunny · 06-23-2011, 10:10 PM

I'm very sorry for your loss.

KSdogowner · 06-23-2011, 10:49 PM

I am so sorry for your loss. He was such a handsome boy. Hugs

06-23-2011, 08:59 PM	#1 (permalink)
opiemybaby New Member Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Utah Posts: 3	Lost my soul mate Opie was my first dog ever. I rescued him when he was 1. He actually found me and the rest was history. I honestly didn’t know how much I was capable of loving something. Opie was the love of my life. I am feeling tremendous guilt at this time. Opie was 11.5 He got a benign tumor just above his tail a few years ago. I didnt want it removed because it wasn’t necessary. A few months ago it bled a little so I took him to the vet. The vet felt it was time to get it removed he also was encouraging me to have his teeth cleaned. So, reluctantly I decided to have both done. This was two months ago. He came out of surgery just fine. He started skipping breakfast a bit (just not as hungry) He still ate night and still loved treats. He seemed a bit more tired than normal but still loved his daily walks and seemed to have normal energy. No throwing up, no whining, still drank just fine. I called the vet but decided not to take him in. People kept telling me he was just older and recovering and this was all normal. I hate taking him to the vet unnecessarily. Well I woke up 2 days ago Opie was in the bathroom waiting for us to wake up. He couldn’t move, couldn’t stand . I gave him kisses told him I loved him, called several vets freaking out he died in about 15 minutes. His blood tests were 100% normal two months ago, the day he had the surgery. I am so devastated over this. I totally regret not doing an autopsy. The vet did an ultrasound and said there was fluid in his belly so she thinks it was his spleen. (Shouldn’t this have been caught on the blood test?). How does one get past the guilt and self blame? How does one move on when the one thing keeping them going is gone? When does the crying end? Attached Thumbnails

06-23-2011, 09:07 PM	#3 (permalink)
Lilie Crowned Member Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: South Texas Posts: 6,290	I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Big hugs to you. He was a very beautiful boy. __________________ Hondo Von Dopplet L Bauernhof "Hondo"- GSD Lilie's Tug McGraw "Tug" - Golden Retriever Maggie - Mini Dachshund (Rescue) Lonestar - Texas Blue Lacy Funyon, Ashe, Soot - Barn Cats Scooter /1/2 Arabian, Shadow, Katie / APHA

06-23-2011, 09:21 PM	#6 (permalink)
vat Knighted Member Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Kingston, IL Posts: 3,027	I am so very sorry for your loss. It does get easier with time but we always remember and they always hold a special place in our hearts. __________________ Valerie Shewana's Maximum Velocity (aka Max) Shewana's Hot-Spice (aka Callan) Kaycee 11/97-5/10 Rio 10/08-2/10 Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can't eat it or play with it, pee on it and walk away.

06-23-2011, 10:10 PM	#9 (permalink)
fuzzybunny Elite Member Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: Ottawa Posts: 1,824	I'm very sorry for your loss. __________________ Carolyn Jazz, Shiloh Shepherd, 2.5 years old, CGC HIC Bunny, GSD X, 5.5 years old

06-23-2011, 10:49 PM	#10 (permalink)
KSdogowner Elite Member Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Kansas Posts: 1,313	I am so sorry for your loss. He was such a handsome boy. Hugs __________________ Elvi Lexie (Rotti-x), Max (GSD/Husky), Sophie (WGSD) R.I.P. Ozzy (GSD), Sabrie (GSD), Kaiser (GSD), Peaches (Cat) "Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending." - Maria Robinson

06-23-2011, 09:07 PM	#2 (permalink)
Jax08 Crowned Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: NNE PA Posts: 14,331	I'm so sorry for your loss. He's a beautiful boy and has such soulful eyes. It sounds like hemangiosarcoma (sp?). It's truly a silent killer. There is nothing you could have done. It's a sad day in the German Shepherd world.

06-23-2011, 09:08 PM	#4 (permalink)
PaddyD Banned Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: MassaCHEWsetts Posts: 5,222	I feel so sad for you. Many of us here have lost our canine friends and it is very normal to feel guilt. Because they can't speak, we don't know what is going on inside them. Many dogs are very stoic and don't show how much they are suffering, which makes it harder for them and for us to help them. We feel guilt because we think we should have known or done something sooner but part of that is grief. It takes a long time to accept that we always did our best. But right now there are no words that are adequate to relieve your sadness.

06-23-2011, 09:24 PM	#7 (permalink)
asja Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: VA Posts: 296	I'm so sorry for the loss of your Opie. We all know how you feel. I've lost several dogs. Please don't have any guilt or self blame, there is nothing you could have done. From your description, I'm pretty certain your dog had hemangiosarcoma, a blood-borne cancer that invades the spleen, liver, and heart. It is a silent killer. There are few if any symptoms. My dog had a swollen abdomen, and my vet removed his spleen, but the cancer had already spread. He only lived another three weeks. He also had blood tests a few months before, and all were normal. Look up hemangiosarcoma, and believe me, there was nothing you could have done to save him. I'm so sorry.

06-23-2011, 09:35 PM	#8 (permalink)
Silvermoon Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: Springfield, OH Posts: 289	What a handsome boy. I am so sorry for yor loss. He will be forever in your heart and waiting for you at the bridge. Try not to feel guilty, he knows you loved him with all yor heart. Holly

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