Thor died last night.....

[Hatterasser]

My beloved Thor died last night. He was not feeling well and was vomiting white mushy stuff and whimpering. I gave him some stomach easers thinking that as usual he was having one of his upset tummy nights, something he had on and off for years. He was resting quietly when I went to bed but when I woke this morning, he was lying there....gone. Freya was laying at his side.

I don't know what took him though I went online this morning to look up his symptoms. In hindsight, as best as I can determine, he may have had a case of bloat, though none of the usual causes applied with the exception of "stress"....Thor has always been an easily stressed pupper. I had thought of calling the vet last night when he was in the middle of his discomfort but aside from the hour and half drive up the beach to the vet's, there was the cost of both the vet and the gas to consider, neither of which I had enough money to cover. Then when he settled down, I thought, 'okay, if he's still uncomfortable in the morning, I'll call then, regardless of the cost'. I hated seeing him feeling so miserable.

Morning never came for Thor. I am filled with sorrow... and guilt. I feel I should have known, should have taken him whether he had settled down or not.

I loved Thor, though perhaps I was the only one who did. He was a troubled dog, full of issues dating back to his tragic puppyhood. But I cared for him, protected him, watched over him and gave him all the love I could give. And he loved me, was loyal and devoted to me, in return, knowing that he was safe with me. But I let him down. I failed him. Whether by ignorance of what was happening, or worrying too much about money, whatever....I failed him. And he died.

I don't know how to recover from this. I will have to keep going for Freya's sake. She is bereft and lost, wandering around the house, looking for Thor, looking at me with questioning eyes. We buried Thor on high ground in the yard, overlooking the pond. There are other loved pets there who will guide him across the bridge but he shouldn't have had to be there so soon. He was only 8 years old.

R.I.P. Thor, and please forgive me. I did love you so......but I let you down in the end.

[crisp]

So sorry.

[robinhuerta]

Diane,
You did not let Thor down...you should stop feeling guilt.
We (most of us) are not Vets, and we aren't visioners of ones future either......
If we ran to an emergency clinic or vets office every time one of our dogs displayed any sign of illness...we would/could be there 24/7.
Bloat kills quickly & many times silently....
The horrific devil (bloat) takes many dear friends......
RIP Thor.
With sincere sympathy,
Robin

[Samba]

So sorry to hear of your loss of Thor.

[onyx'girl]

I remember Thor's story and he was lucky to have you as his companion Diane.
May he rest in peace.

[1sttimeforgsd]

So sorry for your loss of Thor, I will be praying that you will be able to find some solace in your loss.

[Caitydid255]

I am terribly sorry about the loss of Thor.

[sagelfn]

I am so sorry Diane

Thor

[MrsMiaW]

I am so sorry for your loss.

I too lost a dog to bloat/GDV. It is heartbreaking. Please do not blame yourself.

Hugs to both you and Freya.

[elisabeth_00117]

I am so very sorry to hear about the passing of Thor... do not feel guilty, you provided him with a safe, happy, loving home..