Pics and Tribute to Lucy--Cancer Warrior

lucymom · 03-30-2009, 09:47 PM

Well, it's taken me 3 months to find the courage to post this. I've been referring to Lucy since I joined this great site and it's about time I introduced her the right way.

She was a heartdog. She came in to my life unexpectedly after I lost a puppy to severe intestinal problems. A wise and kind breeder sent her home with me "just for a bit" to foster for her. I never intended to fall in love.

Lucy could be aloof, stoic, not snuggly or licky. I never met a puppy like her. Turns out, she didn't have to be any of those things to love me with such intensity that it filled the room. I've never had a dog I've been so "in tune" with and vice versa. We were inseparable. For ten years, no matter what time of day I scooted home from work to check on my dogs, Lucy's face was ALWAYS in the window, keeping vigil.

Lucy was polite to everyone, but aloof unless it was her mamma. Frankly, she had little use for anybody else. I really don't know what I did to deserve her devotion. She and I had a private world, where she let her hair down to be a complete silly-butt when nobody else but her brother Aik was around.

Lucy always got the joke.

When I was really sick a couple of times, I had a big, burly friend who Lucy really liked come over to walk both dogs. I heard "honey, Lucy is not going!!!" and looked out to see a 200 pound man looking helplessly as a 60 pound dog bucked like a bronco and pulled free, to run back to me.

When I had surgery on my foot, Lucy, who HATED sleeping on my bed, stationed herself on my bed by my foot and bared her teeth to Aik if he came anywhere near the bed.

When I dated a man who Lucy very wisely determined she did not like, she took the two dogs beds he gave her (trying to win her over, she would not give him the time of day or take treats from him) she dragged them around the house and tore them to shreds. ONLY those beds, not the four other beds in the house.

Turns out, she was right, he was bad news.

She nearly died at age 2 from an array of tick-borne diseases. A heroic vet and Lucy's iron will kept her alive. I'd sit with her at the clinic at night, holding her paralyzed body, willing my soul to wrap around hers and hold it until the medicine could work.

Lucy made a full recovery, the only dog documented at that time to have done so from her illnesses. She went in to the medical books and her blood was drawn and sent yearly for 8 more years to NC State Tick-Borne Disease Research Lab. She is cited in several papers and studies. But I'm convinced it wasn't all medicine that saved her---she was refusing to leave her mamma.

I couldn't swim in the ocean with her, it worried her too much and she'd swim out to me and try to pull me back in. She was far more content to swim in the lake.

This September, I was kissing her goodnight when I was seized with a sense of dread. Lucy, going on 11, was the picture of health and energy--she could run and play like a puppy and was often mistaken for one. She was shiny and vibrant. But I felt like I was going to lose her.

A week later, she crashed. Her spleen ruptured, she had emergency surgery and was diagnosed with hemangiosarcoma which had not appeared to metastasize.

She bounced back from surgery and we started chemo. I spent hundreds of hours online researching the disease and treatment protocols. I called university researchers, drug company CEOs and overseas vets. I gave myself a crash course in biochemistry to try to understand the interaction of the chemo with holisitic treatments I wanted to try. I just wanted a fighting chance to have her a year.

I called our old vet in Vermont--the one who went to bat and saved her 8 years ago. She was shocked--when Lucy crashed and the week after, she found herself suddenly thinking of us, wondering where we were and how Lucy was. She even mentioned it to her husband.

It was the Lucy mind/soul meld from 8 years ago that we did to keep her alive---it was still there. The vet was now completely holisitic and gave us long distance guidance. She also got us the consultation services of a top oncologist from UPenn, her alma mater.

I thought I could beat hemangio with love and will.

Lucy was a trooper during chemo. She had some off days and her appetite changed. Nevertheless, she was the only dog the vet knew who GAINED weight on chemo--she was being plied with roasted chicken, duck and fish!! Her white cell counts stayed strong, ultrasounds were clean.

In the meantime, she and I got closer. I changed my work schedule, I went noplace other than work. Folks who know hemangio know it is invisible and can take your dog anytime.

I woke up every night to check her gums. We took extra beach walks. Each moment was crystalline with love and cherished beyond what I had ever imagined.

She became my hero. She never faltered, never complained. She ran on the beach, stole her brohter's bones and swam in the waves. She would not be coddled, except at night, when we had our special time and she let her self be vulnerable.

I would look in her eyes and see all that mattered to me.

Christmas day, she crashed, we spent went to the emergency vet. It took two techs to restrain her, even as she bled out, to get her to stay on the stretcher as she tried to get back to me.

THere was nothing they could do...she had a major bleed. When I was able to be with her again, she was so weak. She reached a paw towards me and her eyes told me what I already knew. She had to leave.

I held her for 30 minutes while I waited for a friend to arrive to bring Aik to say goodbye. I smelled her head, rubbed her sweet shaved belly. Memorized everything I could about her. I asked the vet to come in...

And let her go......

Life is not the same now. A light has gone out of the world. I live alone--Lucy was my family, along with sweet loyal Aik.

She lived only 3 months past diagnosis. I felt cheated. If cancer had been a flesh and blood beast that came to my door to hurt my dogs, I would have torn it limb from limb.

I could not fight this for her, how I wish I could.

Turns out, it's likely that her illness so long ago comprised her immune system and made it hard for her to fight the cancer.

Life goes on...I had a wonderful foster girl, I spend special time with Aik to help him with his deep mouring.

But I miss her every moment.

The pics are all taken after she had her surgery and during chemo. THe light in her eyes is bright, her joy sustained me through many worried nights. Her legs are shaved, her belly shaved, but cancer did NOTHING to diminish her spirit.

Nothing could do that.

I live each day trying to cherish the good--the way she taught me. And to face things bravely and to be polite....the way she was.

Thank you Lucy, for filling my life and heart. Your love warms me still and always will.
********
At her favorite beach, with her brother Aik (the sweet sable with the rock)

Ageless and joyful at almost 11.....

She always led the way "helloooo?? Can you guys PLEASE try to keep up??"

"cancer, shmancer, I want my ball back from the water!!"

The noble princess strikes a pose...

A big smile for the camera!

Rules are made for breaking:

The eyes that held all I needed to know:

Her last picture....Christmas angel peeking from behind her brother

Thank you all for looking.

And Lucy? Do NOT steal eveyone's tennis balls at the bridge! Seriously! Leave it!! I'm sure there are enough for everybody!!!

Love you always, my saucy meatball,

Mamma

SunCzarina · 03-30-2009, 09:58 PM

Wonderful tribute to a beautiful lady. Run free, Lucy, run free.

kshort · 03-30-2009, 10:01 PM

Oh, Jennifer, what a beautiful tribute... It's obvious how close your connection was with each other. I'm sorry for the loss of this beautiful girl. Why can't they be with us for longer???

I'm sure Lucy is giving them all a good run for the tennis balls. She'll be waiting, and watching over you, until you meet again...

Fee · 03-30-2009, 10:02 PM

I am so sorry for your loss! What an exceptional dog she was, a true Warriour queen and very beautiful too. She is immortalized in medical papers as is my dog. Her incredible will and bond with you kept her going. Thank you for sharing her story!
RIP Lucy. You have my respect.
Hugs to Aik!

allieg · 03-30-2009, 10:03 PM

She sounds like an awesome friend.You gave her some great memories as well as her filling your heart with memories and love.

k9sarneko · 03-30-2009, 10:18 PM

What incredible words for a very wonderful lady. Your love for this girl shines through as you paint a beautiful picture. I am so very sorry for your loss.

Run free at the bridge beautiful Lucy

BucksMom · 03-30-2009, 10:18 PM

All I can say is WOW!!
What a great tribute!!!

Kayos and Havoc · 03-30-2009, 10:25 PM

Oh what a beautiful angel! I am so sorry you lost her.

littledmc17 · 03-30-2009, 10:34 PM

that was an awesome tribute
she is beautiful and always will be.
i am so sorry for your loss, she will always be with you and protecting you!

BowWowMeow · 03-30-2009, 10:44 PM

What a wonderful tribute to your heartdog, Lucy. It brought tears to my eyes as I thought of my incredible heartdog, Massie, who I lost 9 years ago. and my goofy, sweet, troublemaker Basu who was felled by the same horrible disease 2 years ago.

Thanks for sharing Lucy and your story. May you take comfort in all of the beautiful memories.

03-30-2009, 09:47 PM	#1 (permalink)
lucymom Elite Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Cape Cod, MA Posts: 1,250	Pics and Tribute to Lucy--Cancer Warrior Well, it's taken me 3 months to find the courage to post this. I've been referring to Lucy since I joined this great site and it's about time I introduced her the right way. She was a heartdog. She came in to my life unexpectedly after I lost a puppy to severe intestinal problems. A wise and kind breeder sent her home with me "just for a bit" to foster for her. I never intended to fall in love. Lucy could be aloof, stoic, not snuggly or licky. I never met a puppy like her. Turns out, she didn't have to be any of those things to love me with such intensity that it filled the room. I've never had a dog I've been so "in tune" with and vice versa. We were inseparable. For ten years, no matter what time of day I scooted home from work to check on my dogs, Lucy's face was ALWAYS in the window, keeping vigil. Lucy was polite to everyone, but aloof unless it was her mamma. Frankly, she had little use for anybody else. I really don't know what I did to deserve her devotion. She and I had a private world, where she let her hair down to be a complete silly-butt when nobody else but her brother Aik was around. Lucy always got the joke. When I was really sick a couple of times, I had a big, burly friend who Lucy really liked come over to walk both dogs. I heard "honey, Lucy is not going!!!" and looked out to see a 200 pound man looking helplessly as a 60 pound dog bucked like a bronco and pulled free, to run back to me. When I had surgery on my foot, Lucy, who HATED sleeping on my bed, stationed herself on my bed by my foot and bared her teeth to Aik if he came anywhere near the bed. When I dated a man who Lucy very wisely determined she did not like, she took the two dogs beds he gave her (trying to win her over, she would not give him the time of day or take treats from him) she dragged them around the house and tore them to shreds. ONLY those beds, not the four other beds in the house. Turns out, she was right, he was bad news. She nearly died at age 2 from an array of tick-borne diseases. A heroic vet and Lucy's iron will kept her alive. I'd sit with her at the clinic at night, holding her paralyzed body, willing my soul to wrap around hers and hold it until the medicine could work. Lucy made a full recovery, the only dog documented at that time to have done so from her illnesses. She went in to the medical books and her blood was drawn and sent yearly for 8 more years to NC State Tick-Borne Disease Research Lab. She is cited in several papers and studies. But I'm convinced it wasn't all medicine that saved her---she was refusing to leave her mamma. I couldn't swim in the ocean with her, it worried her too much and she'd swim out to me and try to pull me back in. She was far more content to swim in the lake. This September, I was kissing her goodnight when I was seized with a sense of dread. Lucy, going on 11, was the picture of health and energy--she could run and play like a puppy and was often mistaken for one. She was shiny and vibrant. But I felt like I was going to lose her. A week later, she crashed. Her spleen ruptured, she had emergency surgery and was diagnosed with hemangiosarcoma which had not appeared to metastasize. She bounced back from surgery and we started chemo. I spent hundreds of hours online researching the disease and treatment protocols. I called university researchers, drug company CEOs and overseas vets. I gave myself a crash course in biochemistry to try to understand the interaction of the chemo with holisitic treatments I wanted to try. I just wanted a fighting chance to have her a year. I called our old vet in Vermont--the one who went to bat and saved her 8 years ago. She was shocked--when Lucy crashed and the week after, she found herself suddenly thinking of us, wondering where we were and how Lucy was. She even mentioned it to her husband. It was the Lucy mind/soul meld from 8 years ago that we did to keep her alive---it was still there. The vet was now completely holisitic and gave us long distance guidance. She also got us the consultation services of a top oncologist from UPenn, her alma mater. I thought I could beat hemangio with love and will. Lucy was a trooper during chemo. She had some off days and her appetite changed. Nevertheless, she was the only dog the vet knew who GAINED weight on chemo--she was being plied with roasted chicken, duck and fish!! Her white cell counts stayed strong, ultrasounds were clean. In the meantime, she and I got closer. I changed my work schedule, I went noplace other than work. Folks who know hemangio know it is invisible and can take your dog anytime. I woke up every night to check her gums. We took extra beach walks. Each moment was crystalline with love and cherished beyond what I had ever imagined. She became my hero. She never faltered, never complained. She ran on the beach, stole her brohter's bones and swam in the waves. She would not be coddled, except at night, when we had our special time and she let her self be vulnerable. I would look in her eyes and see all that mattered to me. Christmas day, she crashed, we spent went to the emergency vet. It took two techs to restrain her, even as she bled out, to get her to stay on the stretcher as she tried to get back to me. THere was nothing they could do...she had a major bleed. When I was able to be with her again, she was so weak. She reached a paw towards me and her eyes told me what I already knew. She had to leave. I held her for 30 minutes while I waited for a friend to arrive to bring Aik to say goodbye. I smelled her head, rubbed her sweet shaved belly. Memorized everything I could about her. I asked the vet to come in... And let her go...... Life is not the same now. A light has gone out of the world. I live alone--Lucy was my family, along with sweet loyal Aik. She lived only 3 months past diagnosis. I felt cheated. If cancer had been a flesh and blood beast that came to my door to hurt my dogs, I would have torn it limb from limb. I could not fight this for her, how I wish I could. Turns out, it's likely that her illness so long ago comprised her immune system and made it hard for her to fight the cancer. Life goes on...I had a wonderful foster girl, I spend special time with Aik to help him with his deep mouring. But I miss her every moment. The pics are all taken after she had her surgery and during chemo. THe light in her eyes is bright, her joy sustained me through many worried nights. Her legs are shaved, her belly shaved, but cancer did NOTHING to diminish her spirit. Nothing could do that. I live each day trying to cherish the good--the way she taught me. And to face things bravely and to be polite....the way she was. Thank you Lucy, for filling my life and heart. Your love warms me still and always will. ******** At her favorite beach, with her brother Aik (the sweet sable with the rock) Ageless and joyful at almost 11..... She always led the way "helloooo?? Can you guys PLEASE try to keep up??" "cancer, shmancer, I want my ball back from the water!!" The noble princess strikes a pose... A big smile for the camera! Rules are made for breaking: The eyes that held all I needed to know: Her last picture....Christmas angel peeking from behind her brother Thank you all for looking. And Lucy? Do NOT steal eveyone's tennis balls at the bridge! Seriously! Leave it!! I'm sure there are enough for everybody!!! Love you always, my saucy meatball, Mamma __________________ Jennifer Aik vom Haus Gold "The Rock" Age 11 Zuzu--gsd DOB 4-21-09. Naughty n' nice Lucy, Black GSD 2/1997-12-25-2008. " T'was Heaven with you Here." Dweezil, WGSD. RIP, 13 Moon, WGSD. RIP , 12 Shining found treasures both.

03-30-2009, 09:58 PM	#2 (permalink)
SunCzarina Crowned Member Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Rhode Island Posts: 12,031	Re: Pics and Tribute to Lucy--Cancer Warrior Wonderful tribute to a beautiful lady. Run free, Lucy, run free. __________________ -Jenn Otto von Hena-C 05/23/08 Morgan Donnermond 08/04/01 I have duct tape and I am not afraid to use it.

03-30-2009, 10:01 PM	#3 (permalink)
kshort Crowned Member Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Colorado Posts: 9,448	Re: Pics and Tribute to Lucy--Cancer Warrior Oh, Jennifer, what a beautiful tribute... It's obvious how close your connection was with each other. I'm sorry for the loss of this beautiful girl. Why can't they be with us for longer??? I'm sure Lucy is giving them all a good run for the tennis balls. She'll be waiting, and watching over you, until you meet again... __________________ Kris ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Murphy, Sheltie/Keeshond, 10/31/91-10/3/10 Max, GSD, 6/3/96 - 4/26/08 Kitties: Taz, Chessy, Jacki and Lucy Samson, GSD

03-30-2009, 10:02 PM	#4 (permalink)
Fee Master Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Canada Posts: 581	Re: Pics and Tribute to Lucy--Cancer Warrior I am so sorry for your loss! What an exceptional dog she was, a true Warriour queen and very beautiful too. She is immortalized in medical papers as is my dog. Her incredible will and bond with you kept her going. Thank you for sharing her story! RIP Lucy. You have my respect. Hugs to Aik!

03-30-2009, 10:03 PM	#5 (permalink)
allieg Crowned Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: NH Posts: 4,413	Re: Pics and Tribute to Lucy--Cancer Warrior She sounds like an awesome friend.You gave her some great memories as well as her filling your heart with memories and love. __________________ Allie owned by: Athena 5/4/08 http://www.dogster.com/dogs/925796 Lexi 6/1/07 Puggle of some sort

03-30-2009, 10:18 PM	#6 (permalink)
k9sarneko Knighted Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: florida Posts: 2,577	Re: Pics and Tribute to Lucy--Cancer Warrior What incredible words for a very wonderful lady. Your love for this girl shines through as you paint a beautiful picture. I am so very sorry for your loss. Run free at the bridge beautiful Lucy __________________ Sharon, Mom to SAR GSD's Lexi CGC (Cert. area search) Neko CGC (Cert. HRD) Justice CGC (trailing), BOLO, Bloodhound CGC(trailing) Titan, Shilo Shepherd (beginning area search) Kibby(Rodie mix) Lil Bear and Izzy and Louie(Pom's)

03-30-2009, 10:18 PM	#7 (permalink)
BucksMom Elite Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Where The Dogs Are OH Posts: 1,813	Re: Pics and Tribute to Lucy--Cancer Warrior All I can say is WOW!! What a great tribute!!! __________________ Sherri & the 5 Holy Terrors... "In a perfect world, every dog would have a home and every home would have a dog. SL"

03-30-2009, 10:25 PM	#8 (permalink)
Kayos and Havoc Crowned Member Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: McAlester, OK Posts: 16,921	Re: Pics and Tribute to Lucy--Cancer Warrior Oh what a beautiful angel! I am so sorry you lost her. __________________ Kathy The Wrecking Crew URO3, UCD "Kayos" CD,TDX,RE,CGC,HIC,TC URO1, UCD "Havoc" CDX,GN,RE,CGC,HIC,TC,BH At the Bridge: Lucky, Wolf, Max Gone but never forgotten

03-30-2009, 10:34 PM	#9 (permalink)
littledmc17 Crowned Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Massachusetts Posts: 11,306	Re: Pics and Tribute to Lucy--Cancer Warrior that was an awesome tribute she is beautiful and always will be. i am so sorry for your loss, she will always be with you and protecting you! __________________ Dawn GSRNE Volunteer "A dog a day keeps the Doctor away!" proudly owned by: Brady von Barren Berg, CGC GSD 5/4/05 Cooper von Nordosten, GSD 12/27/10 Missy, Chocolate Lab 3/9/03

03-30-2009, 10:44 PM	#10 (permalink)
BowWowMeow Crowned Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: Buffalo, NY Posts: 14,797	Re: Pics and Tribute to Lucy--Cancer Warrior What a wonderful tribute to your heartdog, Lucy. It brought tears to my eyes as I thought of my incredible heartdog, Massie, who I lost 9 years ago. and my goofy, sweet, troublemaker Basu who was felled by the same horrible disease 2 years ago. Thanks for sharing Lucy and your story. May you take comfort in all of the beautiful memories. __________________ Ruth & the 4 Legged Rescue Gang Rafi the malaroo http://www.dogster.com/dogs/693238 Gio & Varda, the krazy kittens ....In my heart: Cleo Kitty Chama Kai Basu Massie

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