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In Dire need of help and advice

2K views 14 replies 12 participants last post by  J__1204 
#1 ·
I am looking for any help or feedback I can find at this point. I am at a total loss.

Koda is 2 and a half years old. I got him at 10 weeks from a breeder who seemed legitimate. Even at such a young age, he was terrified of anything and anyone. On walks he would hide behind me whenever a person or dog approached us. At 14 weeks he was 'beat up by a Great Dane. A month later he was bitten by a Pomeranian in our Neighborhood.
I knew he was a fearful dog and tried to no avail to socialize him as best I could. All he ever wanted to do was get home as quickly as possible.

As he's gotten older, the fear has become full blown fear aggression. He is fantastic with members of his 'pack'. Friends and family that he knows, he always acts like a big slobbery mess. However, he is frighteningly aggressive with strangers and dogs. He especially seems to hate women and children.

He was diagnosed with severe hip dysplasia at 8 months. My vet told me at the time that he has arthritis on the scale of a 10 year old dog. The only options for him have been total hip replacements on both hips. (About 20 thousand dollars)

We moved from NYC to Florida about 6 months ago. His aggression has seemed to intensify since we moved. In the last few months he's bitten twice. One was a 10 year old child. (babysitter brought the child into his yard while I wasn't home, even though she was EXPLICITLY instructed that he did not like children) The other was my boyfriend's 75 year old mother.
(I came into the house with her, and the dog just went for her with no warning at all)
Both times, required trips to the hospital for stitches. My boyfriend's mother did not report the bite, thankfully.

I have him on pain meds, a behavior modification schedule with a professional trainer (who he loves, by the way), consultation with a behaviorist scheduled, and vet visits. His hips have deteriorated badly. He now has knee and elbow problems as well.

He's basically a mess. But he's my son, and I love him. The problem that I am struggling with is, do I spend thousands of dollars and time and recovery from surgeries and trainers, medications, etc. on a dog that is essentially a loaded gun?
I've been told that his aggression may not be pain motivated and that he may just be wired wrong.

I cannot take him ANYWHERE. He reacts violently to all strangers and other dogs. Every training class at his school is like starting from scratch! It's like he forgets everything he's learned the week before. I know I can't have a dog that is a bite risk. I want to do everything I can for him, and I will. But I'm afraid that I will spend thousands of dollars on an animal that I will still have to put down.
His quality of life is so limited. My quality of life is awful. I can only go away as long as his potty schedule allows because i can't trust him not to attack even a friend if they try to come in the house while I am not here.
I feel I am in the worst situation ever. I look at him and know what a loving silly dog he is, but i also know that he is potentially incredible dangerous if something were to happen out of my control.

Rehoming him is not really an option, as no one wants a dog with aggression issues who also happens to need extensive, expensive surgeries. Does anyone have and input?
This dog is my son. But as much as I love him, I also want to do whats best for us both. I don't want him to be stressed or in pain his whole life, but I also cannot bankrupt myself, set myself up for huge liability or become a prisoner to my pet.

Please help. I'm heartbroken and crying every day over this.

Thank you
 
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#2 · (Edited)
I am so sorry you are going through this. Honestly, it sounds like somebody's worst nightmare.

How long has Koda been on the pain meds? What does the vet say? How about the behavorist? Have you seen any improvement at all?

Rehoming is not an option, as you stated. Having already bit a child and a senior, I am afraid that you may not have many options.

I wish I knew some way to help you. The only thing I can say is that if the dog is living in continuous fear and pain that may it be a mercy to him, too, to let him be at peace.
 
#3 ·
I am so sorry for what you and he are going through. We can't make that decision for you. I think you need to consider the quality of life for him as well as for you. I can only say 'Hugs', it's horrible position to be in for both you and Koda.
 
#4 ·
If you want to keep this dog, you can.

You do not live with elderly people or children? Good.

Put up a good solid kennel, concrete base, ideally with a doggy door into a heated garage. Then you can have a 5x5' or 5x8' kennel inside the garage or basement, and a 10 or 15' x 20' kennel outside. Concrete base, strong kennel, preferably in a fenced in yard.

You can go to work or go overnight. Keep a pail of water in the garage, clipped to the fence or in a horse bucket holder so it cannot spill.

There are weekly feeders that you can buy. A cat, left with food and water can be left for a week. Dogs not so much. You really have to get in there and clean poop, and feed and water the dog daily. But if it is a matter of the dog being euthanized or left with a couple of buckets of water that he cannot spill, and food in a feeder, so you can visit a dying relative. I guess it is up to you.

You can walk the dog with a muzzle. Continue to take the dog to classes with a muzzle. When you have friends or family come to your house, the dog is kenneled. If you feel nervous at all about it, lock the door to the garage or basement.

You can keep this dog, but you have to forget your ideal for your dog. You have to give up some of your expectations, and see the goofy, loving dog that you have, and understand that he does, indeed have some limitations. You need to manage those. He is not a dog you can take anywhere. You can take him with you if you travel, but you have to use his muzzle. That is not ideal, but letting this dog bite again, should be criminal.
 
#5 ·
What Selzer said is right. I have a friend who has a dog that is behaviorally similar and has bitten a child. She built a kennel like Selzer described. Her kennel has privacy fence around the chain link because she has many children who visit and run all over her property. Dog has zero contact with strangers or children ever again. He only has to go in the kennel when visitors are there, he can have a semi normal life with her.

His pain alone might be enough for me to say enough is enough. Assuming you can't afford total joint replacements and trust me, no judgement here.

The most important thing is: there is no wrong answer. If you euthanize him, not the wrong thing to do. If you keep him, not wrong either unless you are unable to commit to a management regime where he is unable to bite again (does your trainer have one laid out for you?)

I'm sorry you are going through this
 
#6 ·
No, I don't think you are wrong to consider euthanasia. Dog is in pain, and the dog is unstable. That is your decision, and no judgement from me on that.

But, if you do want to try to give him some sort of life. It is we that want to take a dog out and about. Many dogs are perfectly happy to be home-bodies. We think they should play with their own kind, they often just want to play with those they are very familiar with. We think they want to go for walks and to stores, and to class, etc. They are pretty happy lying about at home, sleeping.

Yes, they love to be with us, and they love to ride in the car. Sure. But some would rather stay in the car, their world revolves around us, and other people and other dogs, are a distraction, and not always a pleasant one depending on the dog.
 
#7 ·
No offense but when your dog is in that much pain I can understand having him put to sleep. You gave him a real chance and did the best you could. We all have our limits on what we can and cannot afford but you still have to consider his pain. And even if you could afford surgery what about the pain he would go through with that.

I am not saying what to do it is a really hard decision. We had to put our dog down once because some jerk jumped our fence and either took a bat to him or a steel toed shoe and really kicked the heck out of him. His jaw was broken along with some of his teeth and he could not even stand up. I know they jumped the fence because we found him in the middle of the yard. Had I caught the person in action I would have shot the person and not thought twice or felt bad about it. He was the sweetest darn dog not a mean bone in him.
 
#8 ·
I'm sorry you are going through this. It's a tough call. I wonder if chronic pain is causing much of his behavioral issues. I know as a human when I'm in pain I am cranky and really don't want to do much or have people around.
Is total hip replacement the only option? Have you discussed an FHO with your vet? Was it even offered? It is a much less expensive procedure that has helped many dogs severe hip dysplasia.
First and and foremost you must manage Koda's environment to protect others and him. Still, if pain is what is making him aggressive you are still going to have a rough time even with management. As much as we don't like to say it... if money is preventing you from doing surgery to relieve his pain then euthanasia might be the kindest thing for Koda. This is a young dog and if he is in pain now it won't get any better with time if nothing is done. I wish you the best with your decision.
 
#9 ·
Selzer's suggestion is a good one. Set up a secure kennel where he can be safely left for a day or even two if needed. Put him away when visitors come over. That will prevent any bites. If you can safely walk him do so. If not, don't.

I can't advise on the surgery but from what you describe it is not even as if you fix his hips and he'll be OK after healing. It sounds like he has all sorts of joint issues.

My best advice is to love on him like crazy, give him whatever pain meds he needs to be comfortable (don't worry so much about side effects, make him comfortable), and keep him away from situations that stress him out. Give him the highest quality of life you can without surgery. If he likes swimming, that can be helpful for comfort and building strength. Take him swimming, play in the yard, love on him, and let him be himself. No more classes, just allow him to be comfortable in mind and body.

If he gets so painful you think his quality of life is too low, then it's up to you and your vet to decide. But I see no reason to euthanize right now. Do not allow any more bites, that's a given. It's obviously your decision, but as Selzer and Cowboy suggested, there are some pretty simple steps you can take to make sure people are safe, and he is safe.

I am really sorry for your situation.
 
#11 · (Edited)
I euthanized my 3 yr old shepherd Luther due to fear aggression issues. With me he was the sweetest, goofiest boy ever. With strangers, he was bad. My rule was - my dog doesn't have to like other people, he doesn't have to like other dogs. He just has to like me, get along with the other pets, and be good at home.

He grew up with cats and another shepherd. Suddenly, at 3 years old, without showing ANY previous sign of aggression towards the other animals, he killed one of my cats and began going after my other one. He was no longer good in the house. It hurt SO bad. I remember waking up the next morning and feeling like someone had kicked my in the gut. That was one of the worst pains I can remember. And I "regretted" it for a long time - but realistically, I didn't. It was a relief. It was a sad, horrible, heart breaking relief. Pain may definitely be contributing to your boy, but at the end of the day, some dogs are just born that way, and you can't "fix" broken, you can only manage it to a certain point.

That being said about his behavioral issues, you really need to think about his physical issues. It is NOT a quick surgery, it is a very invasive, orthopedic surgery (potentially 2 surgeries if they do not want to do both at the same time), that will require at least 24 hours of hospitalization, and then MONTHS of physical therapy and rehab to truly be effective and worth it. Ideally, dogs with such bad hips should do months of physical therapy BEFORE surgery as well to build ideal muscle mass. This is intense, invasive manipulation. Can he even handle that? How will he do in a hospital, with doctors examining him, checking for a pain response, doing physical manipulation of his back legs and hips, technicians in his kennel and checking his vitals? Yes, we can definitely sedate aggressive dogs, and we do all the time, but it's still a lot for a dog with that level of aggression. Now if he is able to build relationships with other people, that's great, and maybe your could find a physical therapist who manages to get on his good side.

Some great ideas were mentioned for managing him at home. Unfortunately, with a dog like him, any bite is 100% the fault of the owner, and he needs to be managed better. Baby sitter brought a kid in the yard which was not appropriate, at the same time why is a dog with that level of aggression unsupervised outside, especially when you weren't home? I love to travel, and luckily I worked at a clinic that did boarding when I had him, so I could board him with coworkers that knew him. Unfortunately even though he was fine to ignore them when I was with him, they couldn't take him out of the kennel. They basically hosed his urine and feces down the drain with him in the kennel. I cut my travel way back because of him. Are you willing to make those sacrifices for him?

If my life situation had of been different, I could have handled Luther better. But due to college and financial reasons, I lived with my father, and unlike me, he did not manage him well. He didn't keep him locked up. We couldn't kennel Luther, he would get severe stress colitis, have diarrhea on himself, and then get hot spots. The rules were, he was suppose to be locked in my room with a basket muzzle on when anyone was gone. The day he killed the cat, I was at work, and my dad left the dogs out in the house, no basket muzzle, because "he was just running to the bank for 10 minutes". Luther bit people because my dad would leave him out when friends came over. A dog like Luther needed to be managed better, and your dog does as well. Basket muzzles in public. Absolutely locked away when ANYONE comes to the house. Not left in the yard unattended. And the future needs to be looked at. He could live another 10 years. Where will your life be in 5-10 years? Do you and your boyfriend want kids? Can you bring a child into a household with him? Realistic expectations also need to be made. His behavior may improve slightly with age and good training, but he is what he is, and the orthopedic pain will only get worse. He NEVER needs to associate with other people or other animals. Even leaving the house, he doesn't have to do if he's happy and worked appropriately. And the orthopedic pain will only get worse.

I'm so sorry you're having to go through this. From personal experience, I know it's the worst thing. Luther was my baby, such a sweet goofball with me, and to this day it makes me sick thinking about the whole thing. I feel like I let him down. But it wasn't fair to the other animals. It wasn't fair to me to have to live a life like that, managing a big dangerous animal so closely. And at the end of the day, what kind of life is it to have that EVERYTHING terrifies you to that level of aggression? It sucks, it hurts, but I know I did the right thing.
 
#12 ·
Pain can cause a lot of problems and dogs hide pain well. You mentioned total hip replacements, but what about FHOs with rehab? This is a more cost effective way and relieves the pain. What kind of supplements is he on?

I agree that he can be managed with everything else-crates, muzzle, etc, but the pain needs to be taken care of.

Good Luck--I hope everything works out.
 
#14 ·
Everyone's situation is different. One person may find that this is manageable in their situation, where another will find that it is not for theirs. When you have a dog like this, you really need to consider every aspect carefully, and then make a difficult decision, one way or the other.

It may sound selfish to put a dog down because he requires more management then you can reasonably provide. It's ok to broach the topic and give it consideration because you do have to live with that decision. On the other hand pet ownership is supposed to be enjoyable, fun, rewarding, and work. Most of us do not sign up for a dog where it is more constant vigilance, worry, frustration, and disappointment. By changing our expectations, maybe we can just enjoy the goofball dog and manage him carefully, so we are not spending all our energy worrying about what he is doing right now. We just have to be brutally honest with ourselves on whether we can go that route.

Lots of people live with dogs that bite. They love these dogs. Others will put a dog down. And sometimes, even that can be done with love and respect for the critter.

It's a hard place to be in.
 
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#15 ·
Thank you all so much for the feedback!
Mostly Positive yet realistic at the same time. Koda is on Deramaxx and tramadol every day, glucosamine injections once a week as well as holistic vitamin supplements and acupuncture when he's 'in the mood'.
All of his beds are top of the line memory foam orthopedic beds.
So I am trying to do the absolute best i can to keep him as pain free and comfortable as possible.

The idea of kenneling him and keeping him completely isolated from society sounds so horrible. Believe it or not, he is incredibly social! He loves loves loves to play with the few friends he does have, so I cringe at the idea of keeping him isolated. As terrible as it may sound, this is not the
"Life with Dog" that I wanted. I know that sounds selfish, believe me, but I so wanted to be able to show him the world and give him this amazing active life. I know now that will never be possible for him. I am so heartbroken. I feel like I've let him down so much.

As far as being able to afford surgery. I can afford it. Yet at the same time, its so much money to spend when he may potentially always be a liability. Again, selfish, but I'd like to be able to buy a house someday.
FHO is not an option for him since his arthritis is already so bad and his muscle and joint issues are so advanced. We've been to 2 orthopedic surgeons who have given me the same advice. Total hips are the only thing for him. I honestly don't want to put him through all of that time and recovery. Also, I'm concerned that the recovery and rehab process may make him more aggravated leading to more aggression.

I suppose I know what I will ultimately have to do. I cannot wrap my head around the idea at this point. But I do appreciate being able to talk about it with people who understand without being judged or called a lazy bad parent.
So for that, one million thank you's.

From myself, and Koda.
J
 
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